


Ghosts Shouldn't Be This Annoying

by tf2spoopy4you



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Blowjobs, Characters to be added, Humanstuck, M/M, Masturbation, Slow writing, Work In Progress, but that's ok, ghost!cronus, ghost!dualscar, ghost!eridan, handjobs, i don't even know if i'll ever finish this, i don't know how to do the write, i'm not tagging major character death though, sex wow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-01
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-01-21 11:48:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 49,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1549481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tf2spoopy4you/pseuds/tf2spoopy4you
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sollux, Mituna, and Simon Captor all move into a new house. It's a mansion and Sollux has no idea how his father managed to afford it. It's just good luck, right? Wrong. Soon the Captor family finds the ghosts of the Amporas, who used to live there. Things happen, and I might give away the whole plot if I say any more. [Not complete]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bathrooms Are Creepy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A first fic, yayyy. I hope it's okay enough...? I don't really like my own writing style, but what can I do about that? Nada. So, here. Have this. There might be multiple chapters. Maybe. Oh, and haha rating Teen (so far) for lots of bad language. Lots of it.

Your name is Sollux Captor and your life sucks. Well, it sucks even more than usual. You’re moving to a new house, far away from your old apartment in Northern Oregon to a new house in the Californian Valley. You didn’t know anything about the house, of course; your father, Simon, said it was surprise. It’s just like him to do shit like this. You’re on a plane right now, regretting life decisions that had led up to this moment. With only an hour left to go on the flight to the airport, you’re dicking around on your phone and listening to music, absently petting your brother’s mop of brown hair as he lays his head in your lap and sleeps. You just want to go to sleep in your old bed, not whatever new one you have at the new house. You just really don’t want to live in a new house.

While you were distracted with these thoughts, you had arrived at the airport and you’re getting off the plane. The airport’s boring enough that you zone out as you grab your luggage plus ‘Tuna’s, then hand his to him. Next comes the taxi ride to your new house and- holy shit.

Holy motherfucking shit.

It’s a goddamn mansion.

How did your father even afford this?

Well, he does do a lot of computer work for important people, but damn, how did he get the money for this? Whatever, you’re not questioning it. As ‘Tuna walks inside to explore, you help your father unpack stuff from the moving trucks that had driven everything down here. You don’t have a lot of stuff, but you definitely need to go shopping later.

As you’re unpacking a light bedside table, you ask your dad, “How did you afford thith?”

He just turns to you with a smile and says, “It was super cheap! Isn’t that great?”

You roll your eyes and mutter, “Yeah, great.” If moving away from all your friends is great.

‘Tuna comes back out to help with stuff, grinning and going on about how big the house is. Once everything is unpacked, you have to start carrying stuff inside. Best to save the most work for last, right? You start with the light stuff, like tables and chairs in the living room (more like a small house) and the dining room (you’re pretty sure it’s the size of your old apartment) that ‘Tuna helps you with. You help your dad with some of the heavier stuff, like the dining room table (dwarfed by the room) and the TV. Eventually you’re able to take your bedroom stuff upstairs, and your dad shows you your bedroom- damn. Is everything in this house in extra large form? You get a whole room to yourself, one that comes with its own bathroom and a master bed. Wow. ‘Tuna even has a room right next to yours, which is a plus.

You collapse on the bed, fatigue overcoming you as you curl up. Then your dad reminds you that you still have stuff to take upstairs. You groan and get back up, going downstairs to get the stuff that you had forgotten you had to take upstairs in your tiredness. It seemed to take forever: the nightstand, a dresser, a bookshelf, a desk, a chair, a lamp. and your suitcases (some of which your dad had to help you with) but when you’re finally finished, you lie down on your bed and close your eyes, ready to go to sleep even if it’s only 4 in the afternoon.

Then you hear a noise in the bathroom.

You open one eye cautiously, just to peer towards the bathroom. There’s nothing. You sigh and close your eye again, returning to darkness. You hear another noise and sit up suddenly, squinting suspiciously towards the bathroom with your brown and blue eyes. There’s yet another noise, like something falling, and you get up and slam the door to the bathroom open, ready to yell at anyone who’s in here. Except…

There’s no one in there.

You blink, once, twice, then start looking around for the thing(s) that might have fallen. They turn out to be a couple of old bottles of hair gel; must be from the last owners. Ew. You throw it away immediately. You don’t style your hair, and even if you did, this old shit wouldn’t do any good to your hair.

That’s when you hear a whisper from behind you. You whirl around, scowling, but there’s still no one there. You couldn’t make out what it said, but it was definitely an annoyed whisper. You roll your eyes and walk back to your bed. You’re just hearing things. It’s an old house, there’s bound to be weird noises, right? You crawl into bed and pull the covers up, curling up under them and falling asleep.  
_________________________________________________________________  


“Thollux! Wake up!”

You groan, flapping your hand in the direction of whoever’s speaking.

“Thith ith important!”

You sigh and open your eyes, just to see a scared-looking Mituna. Oh shit. You and ‘Tuna are closer than anything; you shared a bed back in your apartment in Oregon, and told each other everything. You two share a lot of things, everything from your lisp and heterochromatic eyes to food to your love of bees. You comfort each other also. If he’s scared of something, that’s really not good. You sit up and frown, asking, “What happened?”

“I thaw thomething in my room!”

“… Yeah? What wath it?”

“It wath a thigarette!”

“The old ownerth could’ve left it there, ‘Tuna.”

“But I went to pick it up and throw it away, and it dithappeared!”

Huh. Well, that’s new. “Are you sure you didn’t jutht imagine it?”

“C’mon Thollux, I didn’t imagine it!”

You stand up, stretching, “Fine, show me where it wath then.”

‘Tuna grabs your hand and pulls you out of your room, then into the door on the right of your room. His room is bee-themed it seems, and he has his own bathroom also. He points to a spot right near his desk, scowling and saying, “It wath right here. Right here, I thwear.”

“Well, it’th not there now and that’th what matterth, right?” you answer, half-smiling and putting a hand on his shoulder to guide him away from the spot. 

He looks down at the ground, then mutters, “I gueth.”

“Good. I’m going back to thleep now, good night,” you start to exit the room, but he stops you and says, “Dad called uth down for dinner, that’th why I wath going upthstairth to tell you! But I had to thtop in my room to take my shoeth off when… that happened.”

“Alright, I’m coming down,” you say and go downstairs with ‘Tuna to the dining room. When you walk in, you look around with wonder. The size of it will never fail to impress you. The table in the middle looks long enough to fit 50 people at least, and your father is sitting at the head nearest the door that you and ‘Tuna walked through. He has dinner on the table, just chicken and mashed potatoes. You sit down next to your dad while ‘Tuna sits across from you, immediately diving into his meal. You start on your mashed potatoes, eating slowly.

“So do you two like the new house?” your father asks the both of you, smiling.

“It’th tho big!” ‘Tuna replies, grinning between mouthfuls of chicken.

“It’th pretty cool,” you say, thinking back to the noises in the bathroom and wondering about those again. No, fuck, it was just the house- you shove the thoughts to the back of your mind.

“That’s good. It was so cheap, and it’s really big, which is a plus! This house was really a catch,” your father says mostly to himself, eating with a grin.  


You don’t say it out loud, but to be honest, you’re expecting there’s a catch somewhere in this deal. Like maybe you only have this house for a month, or half of it you can’t use, or there’s dead bodies in the basement. Hell, you wouldn’t be surprised if there WERE dead bodies in the basement. Then again, there were the noises from your bathroom- nope. Not going there.

You finally finish your dinner, then excuse yourself to go to your room and get some real sleep. You change into pajamas, then take a lingering look at your laptop and decide sleep really isn’t that important and getting online is instead. You sit at your desk and start typing away, coming up with a virus to send to KK or something. He’s your online friend; you met over Pesterchum. You two had a love-hate relationship, always sniping at each other, but you would comfort each other when one was upset.  


Of course, part of it was sending him viruses that wouldn’t destroy his computer but messed up things like only opening up porn sites when he tries to go online or changing all curse words to “diddly-darn”. KK always curses at you for days until you send an anti-virus, which is usually when the joke has lost its hilarity.

Nonetheless, you become immersed in your coding, eyes focused intently on the screen, when suddenly you hear a bang from the bathroom. You’re so shocked that you nearly jump out of your chair, your focus shattered. You look over to the bathroom: there’s no noises now. You hesitantly get up, then walk over slowly to open the door. It creaks open- great, a stereotypical horror movie scene, now you’re going to die- but there’s nothing in there.

The noise had sounded like someone had banged on the wall, but you can hear your brother’s snoring from here, so it couldn’t have been him. It might’ve been your father, who likes to play pranks sometimes, but you doubt it when you glance at the clock; it’s 1 in the morning. You should be asleep. You sigh and go back to your laptop, shutting it down and crawling into bed, pulling the covers up around you.

Even when you’re covered in blankets, you can’t help but shiver and feel like someone’s watching you.


	2. The New Guy is a Dick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When a new family moves into Eridan's old house, what will happen and how will he deal with the new douchebag in what used to be his room?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, I literally have no excuses though. I got a mild case of writer's block, and a stronger case of laziness, so that might be it. This is from Eridan's POV, and things in the first chapter are explained in this one! Also, Mituna does not have brain damage in this AU. Just a head's-up.

You cannot fuckin’ believe this. Some asshole waltzes in and collapses on YOUR bed in YOUR room, just like he goddamn owns the place- oh wait, you guess he and his family own the place now. You sigh and sit on the floor, head in hand, as he closes his eyes, but there’s still anger coursing through you. Everything about him pisses you off completely, from his two-toned glasses to his mismatched shoes. You growl and stand back up, then go into the bathroom to try to calm down. You always do bad things when you get out of control, and now could be one of those times- no, stop.

You need to calm the fuck down. You sigh and punch the wall; punching things always makes you feel better, since you can’t try to meditate or breathe in counts. You can’t really remember what it’s like to breathe. You punch the wall again for good measure, just because the new guy can’t tell what you punch and oh look at that you knocked your old bottles of hair gel over. You don’t have any particular need of them now, seeing as most of your hair flops in your face anyway. 

Then the door slams open and you jump, turning to see a furious boy. You watch carefully as the angry expression on his face slowly morphs to confused, then curiosity. He looks around and locates the bottles, looking disgusted before throwing them in the trash.

You, furious, yell, “Wwhat the fuck, those wwere prime fuckin’ bottles a hair gel an you just threww them awway!”

He can’t hear you, of course; that doesn’t make you any less mad, though. He whirls around anyway, as if he did hear you and you shrink away, worried. Then he realizes nobody’s there (but you) and rolls his eyes, leaving. You follow him, watching him as he gets back into bed and falls asleep. You settle on the floor again and lie down; you can’t really remember what it feels like to sleep either.  
________________________________________________________

A while later, your staring match with the ceiling is broken as another boy runs into the room, yelling a name… “Thollux?” You think it might really be “Sollux”, but you have no idea. You note that the two boys look a lot alike, although the one that ran in, who Sollux seems to call “Tuna” (which is a weird-ass name) has more hair, and is a lot louder. They both have the same shade hair, though, and you think those are lisps? That’s adorable.

You listen to “Tuna”’s story about finding a cigarette in his room and it disappearing- oh hell no. Hell motherfucking no. You growl; this only has one explanation.

Cronus.

You storm out of the room, down the hall to what used to be your older brother’s room and burst in, seething. There he is, the asshole, holding an unlit cigarette in his mouth and combing his hair. “Hey, chief. Vwhat’s up?” he asks in that lazy tone of his. Fuck, it makes you angry.

“Wwhat’s up is you nearly got caught by the kid in your room,” you growl, glaring at him.

“I didn’t do no harm by it.”

“He saww your fuckin’ cigarette, Cro!”

“So? He ain’t gonna suspect nothin’.”

“He already told the asshole livvin’ in my room!”

“I dont see vwhy vwe can’t just showv ourselvwes to them in the first place!”

“’Cause they’d freak out and probably tell stories to the wwhole town!”

“Bullshit, they’d just leavwe an’ flee the towvn or somethin’ stupid!”

You’re about to fire off a retort when Sollux and Tuna walk in, Tuna showing Sollux the exact place where he found the cigarette, which happens to be right where you’re standing, next to the chair Cronus is sitting on. You jump out of the way and watch as Sollux shrugs off Tuna’s claims as bullshit, then they leave. Fuck, Sollux is kinda cute- nope, stop that. You’re dead, you’re not allowed to have crushes on the living, you learned that after- not going there either.

You sigh and yank Cronus out of his chair, leading him downstairs to where your father waits. Orpheus “Dualscar” Ampora, head of the Ampora family and owner of a massive fortune. Part of that fortune got them this mansion, while the rest was to go to Cronus Ampora and Eridan Ampora, both heirs of the Ampora fortune. They were to go on to become wealthy businessmen, but that was all ruined when all 3 died.

After they died, the money was given away, mostly to charities and certain businesses.

You shake all of this out of your head, most of the info from magazines and tabloids. Your father nods to you both and you all walk into the dining room, where the new family is eating dinner. You lick your lips; oh, what it would be to eat again and feel full.

You ignore these thoughts and sit down then turn to your father, sitting at the opposite head of the table of Sollux and Tuna’s father.

“Well, here we are, a new family moved into our house,” your father starts, but you cut him off with, “Wwe don’t need the lecture, wwe knoww not to mess wwith them or fuck anythin’ up.”

“I was talking,” he looks at you coldly, and you remember he wasn’t nicknamed “Dualscar” for nothing. Those two scars on his face make him downright menacing. “As I was saying, a new family has moved into our house. We are not to bother them, for obvious reasons. I’ve already heard about your cigarette incident, Cronus; make sure it does not happen again.”

“Yes, sir,” Cronus mumbles, looking down sheepishly.

“Good. You’re not off the hook either, Eridan. I heard those bangs coming from the younger boy’s bathroom.”

“He threww my hair gel bottles awway!”

“You don’t need them, do you?”

You sigh. “… No, sir.”

“Good. I believe I made myself clear; you two are excused, as the new family- the Captors, they’re called- are finished with dinner.”

“Yes, father.” “Yes, sir.”

You abscond as quickly as you can after that, which, because of being a ghost, is pretty damn fast. You find Sollux in your- fuck, his room, changing into different clothes, and you blush and turn away because just because you’re a ghost doesn’t mean you’re going to creep on every piece of hot ass in the town, fuck. 

You turn back around when you see something light up- his laptop? What is he doing on his laptop? You peer over his shoulder to see a bunch of numbers you couldn’t even begin to understand and sit on his desk instead, swinging your legs and watching him type. 

You look at his face, the way he hunches over- that’s terrible posture, you note as you sit up a bit straighter-, the way his fingers move fast as he types, as if he’s done this a million times- wow he must be really good with those fingers-, the way his eyes go all squinty behind his glasses- wait a second. You do a double-take, then scoot closer and take a second look at his glasses.

They’re fuckin’ brown and blue.

One is brown and the other is blue.

Wow.

‘That’s why he wears 3-D glasses; what a douche’ is your first thought. Then you think, ‘Maybe he’s self-conscious about it.’ Now you feel like a douche. You sigh and go back to watching him, definitely not being a creeper. You end up watching him for hours, entranced in the way he concentrates so fully on this one thing.

It ends up being 1 in the morning when you finally snap out of it, realizing how late it is and noticing that Sollux is still… doing whatever the fuck it is he’s doing on his laptop. He probably needs to sleep. How to snap him out of it without him noticing you… you sneak over to the bathroom, though why you’re sneaking you don’t know you’re a fucking ghost he can’t see you.

You go up to a wall, summon energy, and bang really hard on the wall. There’s a few seconds of silence, then the door creaks open and he looks in, suspicious. Then he leaves and you follow him as he shuts down his laptop, then gets into his bed.

You sit against the wall and watch him, wishing you knew what it was like to be able to sleep again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise there will be new material in the next chapter; maybe it'll be from Mituna or Simon's POV, we just don't know. It'll probably be primarily Erisol, though. Just so you guys know. I also feel like Dualscar would sound all fancy and shit as a businessman, so that's the reason for no pirate-y accent in here. Thanks to everyone who commented or left kudos or bookmarked etc. on the last chapter, it means a lot! (:


	3. There's Something Watching- Why Does It Smell Like Douchebag In Here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Mituna gets out his old Ouija board with Cronus in the same room, how will Cronus resist the urge to mess with him? (Hint: He won't.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now a chapter from Mituna's POV! Also, it switches POV about partway through ish, just because I'm not writing another chapter of exactly the same thing but from Cronus's POV, so. Enjoy. I got this chapter finished a lot sooner than I thought I would, too!

Your name is Mituna Captor and you are really fucking excited. All the time. You were excited to move to California, excited to move into a new house, excited to meet people in the small town you’re living in now- until you found the cigarette on your floor. You did a double-take, went to inspect (because you don’t smoke and don’t own cigarettes) when it disappeared. It fucking disappeared.

You ran to get Sollux, who disproved you even though you protested you really saw it. He doesn’t believe you, but he convinced you, and now it’s okay.

Well, it was okay until you started feeling like someone was watching you wherever you were in the house. In your bedroom, in the kitchen, in the game-room (a whole room dedicated to video games and board games- this house is fucking sweet), sometimes even in the bathroom. Frankly, it’s starting to freak you out. You would mention it to Sollux or maybe even your father, but they’d just dismiss your claims as results of an overactive imagination. Not to say you don’t have an overactive imagination; you do! You just think something’s- or someone’s- really watching you.

Which is how you find yourself sitting in your room with the Ouija board your father got you as a joke one time, calling out to the spirits. It certainly isn’t a joke now.

“Hello? Ith… (fuck your lisp) ith there anyone out there?” you say, your hand on the Ouija board, feeling stupider and stupider by the minute. It’s just your overactive imagination, you’re imagining things, it isn’t real- oh shit. Your hand is moving, and it’s not you. Your hand moves the piece slowly, dramatically to “Yes”. Well then.

“Um… are you a good thpirit?” you ask, suddenly feeling nervous. Your hand moves again, this time to… between the yes and no? “Tho… it’th a maybe?” It moves to yes.  


“What’th your name?” you ask, feeling even more nervous by the second. Your hand moves to “C”, then “R”, “O”, “N”, “U” and “S”. “Cronuth?” you ask, raising an eyebrow. It moves off to the side, then back to the “S”. You scowl; it’s a mischievous spirit, making fun of your lisp. “Fine then, CRONUTH,” you put extra emphasis on the “th” sound.

Your hand moves to “Good Bye”, and you protest, “Wait, I still have more questionth!” There’s a pause, then “OK” is spelled out. You sigh in relief, then ask, “Are you a malevolent thpirit, then?” Your hand moves back to the “S”, and you growl in frustration. “You know what I mean!” You hear faint laughing, and the hair on the back of your neck stands up. Then your hand moves to “NO”, and you grin. “Jutht a thpirit who’th thtuck in the living world until you complete whatever tathk you have left to do, right?” 

“YES”. 

“What ith your tathk?”  
_________________________________________________

Your name is Cronus Ampora, and you are having the time of your life. This kid (who’s only a few years younger than you) decided it would be a great idea to break out the Ouija board and try to communicate with ghosts- which means you. You’re having a fuckin’ laugh as you give him weird answers, and make fun of his lisp, which completely botches your name.

But when he asks what your task is, you realize you don’t know. You’ve heard plenty of stories about ghosts who get stuck, who have to stay in the living world until they move on to whatever’s there for them- that is, if they get over whatever’s keeping them with the living. You’ve been dead for years, but you still haven’t figured out your purpose here. You suppose Eridan and your father haven’t either, if they’re stuck here with you.

You sigh and put a hand over his, moving it to “I”, “D”, “K”. The kid, “Mituna” you think his father called him, grunts in frustration, and you have to stifle a snicker because that’s pretty damn cute. Him and his lisp are pretty cute. You’d probably tap that- you know, if you were still alive.

Being alive… you remember it vaguely. Your tragically cut-short teenage-hood was filled with music-making, along with trying to woo everyone’s hearts. It didn’t work, of course. Everyone said you were an asshole, playing the “tragic musician who makes heartbreaking music” card. You remember being a kid, too; those days were filled with magic, you remember. You got Eridan into it as well, until you both realized it wasn’t real and gave up on it.

Your father yelled at you both that he “wasn’t going to let his only heirs waste time with such foolishness” and the usual stuff. That’s partly why you both gave it up.

While you had been zoning out, Mituna had asked the same question, several times, only to snap you out of your daze with an angry, “Are you even thtill there?!”

You smirk and lead his hand back to the “S”. He lets go and bangs on the table in frustration, standing up and growling, “You’re a dick, you know that? I jutht wanted to ask you thome questionth and here you are, making fun of my lithp! You know what, have fun figuring out your tathk or thome shit. I wath trying to help you, you know!”  


You panic and grab the planchette, spelling out “WAIT”. Mituna sighs, reading the letters, then sits back down and places his hand on the planchette, putting his head in his other hand. “Tho you don’t know why you’re thtuck here. Do you know how you died?”

You think about that one for a minute. No, you don’t; you don’t remember how you died, actually. You remember pain, then darkness, then looking down at your own body, but you don’t remember anything else. You lead his hand to “NO”.

Mituna sighs, “Well, that’th really fucking helpful. Maybe you died in a violent way and that’th why you’re thtuck here.”

You spasm suddenly, a brief memory overtaking you- fear, quick pain, blissful darkness- but it’s gone as suddenly as it came and wow you’re lying on the floor, shivering. Mituna’s freaking out; apparently the planchette went flying across the room and his hand was jerked to the side and he’s yelling, suddenly the other son that looks like him- Sollux?- comes running in, asking what’s wrong.

You stand up slowly, still shaking, as you listen to Mituna tell Sollux about the whole thing, from asking you questions to you telling him your name to the whole planchette going flying thing. Sollux just scowls and says, “Quit mething with thpirit bullshit, Tuna! Thith shit never turnth out well for people in horror movieth, why would it turn out well for you?” and packs up the Ouija board, taking it away. 

Next thing you know Eridan bursts in, scowling and yelling at you for fucking with the kid, Mituna, “Wwhat the fuck, you could’vve gotten us in big trouble! Wwe probably already are!”

“Keep it dowvn, I don’t think Dad has noticed it yet,” you hiss, leaning against the bedframe, your knees still weak.

“Noticed what, my dear son?”

You don’t even need to look to know it’s your father. Just the sense of power filling the room, along with it becoming suddenly much colder. You see Sollux and Mituna freeze up; even if they’re human, they can still feel the power radiating from the ghost of Orpheus Ampora. They glance around nervously, then abscond from the room quickly. You wish you could abscond.

“Nothin', father,” you reply nervously, standing up straight and facing your father.

“I think you’re lying to me. Now, tell me: what am I not noticing?” he asks again, leveling a glare at you that could make any brave man weak-kneed.

You drop your eyes to the ground in shame and mumble, “I might’vwe been messin’ a bit vwith the kid.”

“What did I tell you about bothering the living humans in our house?”

“He broke out the Ouija board- I couldn’t help it!”

“That’s no excuse. This will not happen again, will it?”

“No, father.”

“That’s what I like to hear. Now, go keep an eye on the two sons. Report to me if they suspect anything, and if they do, tell me exactly what they suspect.”

“Yes, father.”

“Eridan, that’s you too. Go with Cronus,” your father says, and with that, leaves the room. You and Eridan both sigh in relief. Your father’s gone, but now you have to go spy on the twins. 

Great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, that's the third chapter. Haha cliff-hangers are fun, right? Next chapter will probably be from Sollux's POV, but maybe we'll get to Simon eventually. Maybe. Thank you everyone for kudos and comments and bookmarks!


	4. Don't Mess With Ouija Boards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux and Mituna decide to play with the Ouija board some more; what a great idea! (It's really not.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand all the boys finally meet! Except for Orpheus or Simon, but we'll get to them later. Sorry this took me so long, my computer was being dumb. And I was being lazy. But here's chapter 4: enjoy!

Your name is now Sollux Captor, and you are dealing with your brother’s shit once again. He decided it would be a great idea to try and summon spirits with an Ouija board you suspect your father got him, and you have to deal with the consequences. He’s going on about some ghost who communicated with him, and how when he said the ghost may have died violently the planchette flew off the board and basically he thinks the ghost flipped out.

So you took away his Ouija board. But while you were arguing about it in his room, you two felt… something enter the room. Neither of you knew what it was, but you knew it was something you didn’t mess around with, so you absconded back to your own room.

That was when you told ‘Tuna about the weird knocks in your bathroom, and how maybe it was the same ghost? Or it could even be multiple ghosts. That was when he suggested using the Ouija board to find out. You protested; whatever ghost he was communicating with might’ve seemed nice, but you know there’s something- or someone- in this house that isn’t so nice. He argued with you and said that neither of you could feel anything right now, and so it might not end up worse than this whole situation already is.

You had sighed and relented, unpacking the board and laying it on the ground between you two. And now you have to ask ghosts questions?

“Come on Thol, you have to put your hand on the planchette,” your twin reminds you, and you roll your eyes, placing your hand on it and suddenly feeling really nervous.

You bite your lip, hesitating nervously, then ask, “Um… are there any thpiritth with uth right now?  
______________________________________________

Your name is Eridan Ampora and you are stuck in a dilemma. On one hand, you really, really want to mess with Sollux and Mituna (your brother informed you the other twin is called), but on the other hand, your father forbid you to mess with them.

What great choices you have.

You sigh and mutter, “Fuck it,” before moving Sol’s hand to “YES”. Oh look at that, you have a nickname for him- you must be growing fond of him. Shut up, inner monologue.

Sol just scowls and mutters, “Great.”

What a dick.

“How many ghothtth (haha he means ghosts, that fuckin’ lisp though) are there in thith houthe?” Mituna asks, looking around as if to suddenly see ghosts. Amateur.

You look at Cronus, hesitating, “Should wwe tell them?”

“I don’t care; you’re the one vwith the vwooden thing,” he replies, shrugging.

You groan and move his hand to the number “3”, deciding that your father’s going to find out no matter what. Your father… Orpheus seems to always have eyes around the house. No matter what you’re doing, or what Cronus is doing, or perhaps what the new family is doing, he always seems to know. Orpheus actually seems to be able to turn invisible. Not like you and Cronus can, being invisible to humans, but invisible to even ghosts. It’s actually kind of creepy.

Nonetheless, while you were thinking about that, Sol and Tuna had both frozen up, Sol frowning slightly. “Tho… are you Cronuth?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

You sigh and put his hand on “NO”. Really, this process is so slow. You wish you could just appear to them and tell them everything, but you can’t because of stupid ghost rules.   
Nobody told you there would be ghost rules when you died. Instead, you have to use this Ouija bullshit to communicate. You sigh dramatically, and Cronus just rolls his eyes at you. What an asshole.

“What’th your name then?” Sol asks, raising an eyebrow, then adding hastily, “Wait, ith Cronuth the one in my bathroom or are you or ith it the third ghotht?”

You grumble something about “one question at a fuckin’ time” and spell out your name, “ERIDAN” which takes fuckin’ forever and you are so done. You decide it would be too much effort to answer his second question, and besides, you know he’ll just ask it again, the nerd.

“Are you the one in my bathroom?”

Called it.

You move his hand to “YES”, smirking.

“I gueth thothe were your hair gel bottleth, huh. Well, I gueth you don’t need them anymore, do you?” he says, shrugging.

He mentioned throwing away your hair gel bottles, then referenced the fact that you're dead, which is a sore spot.

You can’t help it.

You flip your shit.

You throw the planchette at him, hissing, and when he yells, “WHAT THE FUCK?!” you summon energy to punch him, then tackle him to the ground. He starts yelling again, but when he looks up at you, he freezes. You freeze too- his wide eyes are searching yours, and he looks shocked. Oh shit he can see you. You yelp and throw yourself back, landing squarely on your ass. Good going. Sol sits up and adjusts his dumb glasses, still looking at you like you’re some sort of god.

“Vwhat the fuck, Eridan! Vwe need to leavwe right nowv!” Cro hisses at you somewhere off to the side, but you just shrug.

“Wwhy? They’vve already seen me, it’s not like they can unsee me,” you snap at him, irritated.

He hisses in annoyance but appears anyway, crossing his arms in annoyance.

“Excuthe you, but who the fuck are you?” you hear from your left, and you turn to see Sol looking very confused and very angry, and the two mixed together on his face makes him look very hot and wow you have to deal with words now.

“Uh. Um. I’m. Wwe’re. Uh.”

“Vwhat he means to say is that vwe’re ghosts and vwe shouldn’t evwen be talkin’ to ya,” Cronus cuts in, glaring at you and the twins. He must be upset.

“Well damn, thith mutht be Cronuth,” Mituna adds in, smirking, “I’d know that thathy attitude anywhere.”

Cronus growls and starts “thhh”ing at him, and Mituna just scowls.

“Okay knock it off you twwo,” you say as you roll your eyes.

“I can’t help it if he sounds fuckin’ hilarious vwhen he says ‘sassy’,” Cronus replies snarkily, throwing a smirk towards Mituna.

“At leatht I don’t trip on my w’th and v’th,” Mituna says, smirking right back.

“Wwill ya twwo break it up already? You’re givvin’ me a headache,” you growl, glaring at both of them. 

“It’th not like you’re keeping it down yourthelf,” Sollux says to you, grinning cheekily.

You scowl and spit out, “They wwere the ones fuckin’ arguin’.”

“And nowv you tvwo are the ones fuckin’ arguin’! Vwhy don’t vwe start this ovwer, huh? I’m Cronus an’ I’m dead,” Cronus says flatly, putting his unlit cigarette behind his ear.

“Tho it wath your cigarette I thaw the other day!” Mituna says, his eyes widening.

“An’ I’m Eridan. I’m also dead, but it's kinda a sore spot,” you glare at Sollux as you cut Mituna off before he can say anything else.

“I’m Thollux and thith ith Mituna,” Sollux says, but you roll your eyes and say, “Wwe knoww.”

“How do you know our nameth already?” Mituna scowls, crossing his arms.

“Ghosts hear evverythin’. Seriously evverythin’,” you reply, sitting up straight as you dust off your skinny jeans.

“You’re a fucking creep, thpying on all of uth,” Sollux says, rolling his eyes at you.

“Hey, I ain’t a fuckin’ creep! It’s not like I’vve been spyin’ on you in the showwer or bathroom or wwhen you change. I turn around like a proper flippin’ gentleman,” you snap, crossing your arms.

“Tho you’re only thpying on me the retht of the time? That maketh me feel loadth better,” he replies sarcastically, crossing his arms to mimic you. Then, before you can say anything, he scowls and asks, “Were you the one fucking around in my bathroom? Oh my god, were thoth YOUR hair gel bottleth? Fuck, I’m glad I threw them away now,” he snickers, and wow he has a nasally laugh.

“Those wwere prime fuckin’ bottles an’ I don’t knoww wwhy you’d throww them awway! Besides, if there’s anyone you wwant to fear being wwatched by it’s my father,” you grumble, figuring you’ve given enough away already. Why not a little more?

“Who’th your father?” Mituna asks, raising an eyebrow. How clueless.

“He’s none other than the famous Orpheus fuckin’ Ampora, wwho else?” you reply, scowling again.

“I think I’ve heard of him,” Sollux mutters thoughtfully, frowning as he thinks. Wow that’s kind of cute. Wait, no it’s not, stop it.

“Wwho hasn’t heard a him?” you ask, snorting.

“Don’t be such an asshole, Eri,” your brother cuts in, glaring.

“Don’t be such a douche then,” you reply, glaring right back.

“Guyth, can you calm down for a thecond?” Sollux groans, then continues, scowling, “Look, thith ith what I know. So we’re being haunted by a group of athholeth with thtupid accentth, who don’t know how they died, and tho bathically we should go on a hunt for info on how you died.”

“You don’t havve to do that, you knoww. Wwe’re fine not knowwin’,” you mumble, playing with your fingernails.

“I don’t think tho. Both ‘Tuna and I have thchool on Monday, which ith jutht in a couple dayth. We’re lucky Dad moved uth at the beginning of a new year. Anyway, we can go to the thchool library or the local library and find out thome info. Onthe we do, we’ll get back to you, okay?” Sollux says, raising an eyebrow.

“Fuckin’ fine, do wwhatevver you wwant, see if I givve a fuck,” you snap, then huff and storm out of the room.

People can be stubborn assholes sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a longer chapter, wooo. Who knows what'll happen next chapter? Maybe they'll go to school and make friends! We just don't know.


	5. Libraries Smell Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux goes to the library to do research, but of course things don't go his way. Ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Sollux, ah yes. He has fun at the library. Libraries smell so good, btw. I recently got 3 Stephen King books and am caught between reading them or writing this, but it seems writing this has won, so here, take this chapter.

Your name is Sollux, and you are so fucking confused. So there are ghosts in your house apparently. Hot ghosts, but they’re assholes and ghosts so you wouldn’t go anywhere near that with your dick. Nonetheless, you DO want to know how the Amporas died, so here you and Mituna are at the library, wandering aimlessly.

Neither of you know where the fuck to look, but you’re sure one of you will figure it out. It wouldn’t be in the fiction section, no… the non-fiction section? Probably not… you promptly face-palm, earning more than a few weird looks, as you realize there’s a town records section. That might be it.

You motion to Mituna and you both walk over, and it’s just a bunch of papers in over-filled books, and papers strewn all over the floor. It’s messy, even for a library. You’d think they’d have someone to clean this up.

Now you just have to work on your next problem, which is trying to find the book that contains death records of the Amporas, or just important people.

You step over all the papers, mildly angry at them being on the floor. It’s such a small town, you don’t know why the fuck they’re all over the floor. Is the whole town going through these records? Jesus.

“Hey Tuna, can you go through these paperth?” you ask, and he nods, sitting down and starting to sift through the papers.

Then you spy a computer and silently pump your fist in the air because fuck yeah they’ve got a computer and sit down in the chair, thinking about what to search. Maybe “Amporas”? You bite your lip as you type the name in the library search engine, then click “Search”.

Aaaand nothing comes up.

What a load of bullshit.

You grumble and try “Ampora Mansion”, the name of the house you live in now, and still nothing. You turn to Mituna and ask, “Hey Tuna, have you found anything yet?”

“Nope,” he replies sullenly, and you sigh. Back to the computer you go.  
__________________________________

You two have spent hours in the library, you on the computer and Tuna going through books and papers.

How much have you two found on the Amporas?

Fucking nothing.

It has been hours, and neither of you have found anything on the Amporas. You’ve tried searching every variation of “Ampora” possible, you tried “mansion”, you even tried their individual nicknames, but nothing’s come up.

How is this even possible? Did you just imagine the whole thing? … No, that’s not possible, Tuna saw it too. But if they did live in this town, then why can’t you find anything on them or their deaths? It just doesn’t make any sense.

You decide to go with plan whatever it is: the librarian.

You don’t normally talk to the librarian- or for that matter, anyone. You’re an antisocial little shit who prefers talking to people via electronics more than face to face, so obviously talking to anybody you don’t know would be pretty hard. But you’re doing this for Eridan. The Amporas, you mean. Yeah.

You steel your nerves and slowly walk up to the librarian’s desk. The librarian is young, maybe a little older than you with shoulder-length black hair and a pretty blue dress. “Can I help you?” she asks sweetly, smiling.

She’s kinda cute, wow. You find yourself stumbling over your words, “Um, I wath, uh, looking for thome information on, uh… the old houthe that I live in… now. Yeah.”

She smiles, trying very hard not to laugh as she puts her head on her hands and fuck it’s because of your lisp isn’t it- “Oh my goodness, you’re so cute. Tell me, where do you live?”

Thank fuck it’s not your lisp. “Uh, the old Ampora houthe,” you manage to stammer out.

The effect is immediate. She draws back, growing pale. “Don’t mention that name,” she whispers, looking around as if to see people coming around the corner with guns and handcuffs.

You raise an eyebrow and ask, “Why not?”

“Don’t ask,” she replies hurriedly and wow that’s definitely going to convince you to not ask, wow. “There was an incident a while ago, ok? Nobody talks about it. So don’t ask anybody or you could get yourself in some real trouble.”

You raise your other eyebrow then, but shrug and reply, “Fine,” before walking back to the section with the town history. “Come on Tuna, it’th time to go,” you say, poking him with your shoe.

“Fine then, athhole,” he swats at your foot, but gets up anyway and follows you out of the library, and you nod at the librarian as you go by. She solemnly nods back.  
_________________________________________

“Get your ghothty ath out here, ED,” you say as soon as you walk into your room, dumping your phone and wallet on your bed.

Nothing responds.

You sigh and say, “I know you’re creeping around, jutht appear already. I need to talk to you.”

He suddenly appears next to you, arms crossed and ever-present scowl on his face. “Wwhat the fuck do you wwant?”

You scowl right back and snap, “Well fine, I wath going to tell you that I did hourth of fucking rethearch for you in the library and even talked to a thtranger but fine, if you don’t want that information, fucking fine.”

“You don’t havve to be so fuckin’ dramatic about it, Jesus, Sol,” Eridan snaps right back at you and you are so fucking done with him.

“Hourth. Of. Fucking. Rethearch,” you repeat, glaring at him.

“Fuckin’ research? An’ just for me? Howw cute,” he smirks, and you want to smack that smirk right off his face.

“That ithn’t what I meant, athhole. Look, I found nothing in the computer recordth and Tuna found nothing in the archiveth, but that’th not the weird part. When I went to athk the librarian, I told her I wanted to know about the Ampora houthe and she completely froze up. Told me not to talk about it, don’t mention it to anybody, all that creepy shit. Tho I figure you died in some creepy ath shit way,” you finish up, poker-faced as you stare at him.

He’d been looking progressively more done with your shit with each word you said, and he just looks so done right now. “Look, I appreciate all this fuckin’ wwork, but you didn’t need to do that. Wwe’vve all come to terms wwith our deaths, so you really didn’t need to do all this wwork.”

You sigh loudly, then repeat, “I already fucking thaid that I want to know how you died. I am not doing thith for you, or for anybody elthe. Maybe I’m doing it a tiny bit so you guyth can move on with your ghothtly life, ok? But I’m mainly doing thith so I can live a happy, ghotht-free life. Got it?”

He looks hurt, and yeah you did say some hurtful things. Before you can fix your mistakes, he promptly disappears, and you sigh and face-palm. “Fucking DAMMIT, ED,” you growl. Now you have to figure out this shit on your own, and apparently secretly. You can’t let this get out, according to the librarian.  
_________________________________________

Little did you know, but in the exact same town a man sits in front of a computer, scowling and grumbling. Some kid is researching the Ampora house? Great, another one to get rid of. He stands up and grabs his coat, grumbling some more as he exits the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the librarian was Aranea, and I might add her to the character tags maybe. I'll be adding so many characters, actually. And Eridan and Sollux are both assholes as usual. But yeah, thank you all for kudos and comments! They make my day ^u^ Who knows what the next chapter will be about? Haha, I certainly don't.


	6. School Sucks So Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan has a talk with his father and Sollux has to go to school. Both boys have shitty days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, my laptop was being super dumb and didn't have any space but now I got it cleared up so I have this chapter now! Here. Take it.

Your name is now Eridan Ampora, as it has always been, what are you talking about? Anyway, you get to be home with your own family as the Captor family leaves. It’s Monday, and while Mr. Captor (whose name is Simon) goes to work, Sollux and Mituna get to go to high school. Oh joy.

You remember high school, and to be honest, you wish you didn’t. The last time you went there was in the third quarter of your junior year, and your other 2 years weren’t very memorable. You remember getting picked on, of course, for what you wore. You wore a scarf, usually, and tight jeans and always long-sleeved shirts. Most everything you wore was purple, a violet color (which is still your favorite color) so you got called “gay” a lot. Not that you weren’t- well, you’re bi- but it hurt sometimes when they would say it with a sneer as they beat you up.

High school wasn’t the best time of your life, is your point. It was a small high school anyway, because it’s a small town, but still, high school life was pretty much a living hell. You’d gladly never go back. Oh wait, you can’t, because you’re dead. Funny how that works. You don’t have to go to high school, yay! All you have to pay is your life.

Shaking yourself out of your gloomy thoughts, you get up off of Sollux’s bed and walk downstairs, where your father and brother are waiting at the dining room table. Well, this can’t be good.

“Yes, father?” you ask as innocently as you can, sitting down a couple seats away. No need to be in the blast zone.

“Don’t play dumb, Eridan. You know what you did,” he says in a flat tone, his hands in fists on the table.

You look down, playing with your rings as you ask, “Do I noww?”

“Eridan.”

You look up at him, and shit he looks really serious- even more serious than usual. “Yes?”

“I gave you one job. Do you know what that one job was?” he asks, glaring at you. Sometimes you completely forget he was once this menacing man who made other grown men piss their pants just by looking at them.

“It wwas to spy on them, sir,” you mumble, looking back down.

“Look at me when I’m speaking to you,” he snaps, and your head shoots up to look at him so fast you think your gave yourself whiplash. “You were to spy on them. Now can you tell me what you did instead?”

You look over at Cronus, who’s looking away from both of you, guilt etched into his face. So he told him, huh. You look back at your father and reply tonelessly, “I revvealed myself to them. I lost control an’ nearly punched one in the face, an’ told them pretty much evverythin’ about us.”

“And Cronus here tells me the younger Captor has been doing research in the library. Is this true?” your father asks, and Cronus winces, keeping his eyes firmly on the floor away from both of you.

“Yes it is. I told him not to, that it wwasn’t necessary, but he did it anywway,” you say, scowling at that memory. He had hurt you with his words about only researching your deaths to get rid of you. That was rude of him, but what can you do about it? You don’t imagine you’d much like living with ghosts either, if you were him.

“And he did it anyway. Of course. Look son, I don’t want to punish you. You know that, right?”

"But you're goin' to anywway," you mutter, looking down at your hands in your lap.

"What was that?" your father snaps.

"Nothin'," you reply, looking back up at him and he has the glare on his face again and wow if you still slept that would give you nightmares.

He growls and says, "What I'm saying is I don't want to punish you, but a lesson has to be taught. There's no more interacting with any of the humans, you got it?"

You sigh and mumble, "Yes, sir."

"Good. You can go now," he says, then stands and disappears. You storm away from the table and go upstairs, not able to even look at Cronus right now. He ratted you out to your father? What a dick.

You collapse on your bed- ugh, you'll never get used to calling it Sollux's. Well, since nobody's home but your asshole family, looks like you have to find something to do. You look around the room: boring, boring, boring- and wow, even more boring! You sigh and turn on your side, wishing you could sleep so you could pass the time.

Then your eyes land on his laptop.

Score!

You get up and walk over, running your hands over it. Who knows what kind of juicy stuff he has on here? You make your hands able to touch things in the living world, just your hands (it’ll look weird to anybody who walks in- just a pair of hands floating above a laptop? Creepy), and open the laptop to turn it on. This must be one of those super fancy computers because it boots up in like 2 seconds.

Then you get to his password screen.

FUCK.

What would his password even be? Maybe something he likes?

You look around his room for clues. There’s a lot of red and blue. You try “redandblue”, but that gets you nowhere. But wait… oh, there’s a hint thing, the thing in case you forgot your password. The hint says “dont forget your own fuckiing pa22word iidiiot”. Well, that was certainly helpful. You sigh and try “red&blue”, but that doesn’t work either.

Now you’re getting frustrated. You try everything from “bee2” with his stupid quirk to “redbluebee2” to “whatii2myfuckiingpa22word”. You’re fuming by now and just to spite his computer, try “dontforgetyourownfuckiingpa22wordiidiiot”.

And it works.

Damn.

The screen goes to his desktop, and his background picture is… is that a picture of a bunch of 0’s and 1’s?

… Huh.

Weird.

You open up his files and start dick around. Time to see what he’s got on here.  
______________________________________

Your name is Sollux Captor once more, and you’ve forgotten how much you hate school. Thankfully, you have to go on the first day just as reminder of the similarities between high school and hell. Wonderful.

You have to go up to the office to get some packet bullshit, and wow it looks like they decided to put you in some of the classes you like. You can work with that.

For now, your first period is US History. Ugh. You’ve never liked history, anyway, but now you have it first period, at ass o’clock in the morning. How are you even supposed to concentrate?

You’re not, you guess. You sigh and make your way to your first class of the day, then have to take a moment to steel yourself for class. Class had already started, so everybody’s going to stare at you like you murdered 5 people. Great.

You open the door and walk in, setting your expression to neutral. The teacher, a woman who you don’t know the name of, turns and smiles at you. “Welcome!” she says, and you immediately decide she’s too cheery to put up with this early in the morning.

“Hi,” you deadpan back, slumping a bit.

“You must be new to this school! Where would you like to sit?” she asks, still grinning. She’s kind of freaking you out.

“I don’t care,” you reply, shrugging, but making sure not to use words with the letter “s” in them. There’s no reason to give kids reasons to bully you.

Her smile falters a bit, but she continues, “Well okay then, you can sit right there next to that lovely young lady!” she says, pointing at the lovely young lady in question. You turn and look at the seat, keeping your head down. It’s near the back of the class, so the walk seems endless.

When you finally get there, you sigh and set your bag down, then sit down and put your head on your arms.

“Hey,” you hear a whisper from your left, and you turn and holy shit you didn’t get a good enough look at this lovely young lady earlier because wow. She has long brown hair, bright blue eyes and a smile on her face. Did you mention she’s really pretty because your throat is suddenly really dry and you can’t remember how to talk to people.

“H- hi,” you barely manage to stutter out, and you’re definitely blushing now.

“I’m Aradia! What’s your name?” she asks, still smiling.

You panic internally because oh god how do you say your name without lisping, you need to act cool in front of her or she won’t like you, fuck, what do you do-

“It’s Sollux, right? It says on your papers there,” she says, pointing to the packet you got from the office.

“Um- yeah, yeah that’th my name.” Oh goddamit, you fucked up. You were given a chance to save yourself from lisping or tripping over words, and you just lisped. Fuck.

Luckily, she doesn’t seem to notice, but continues on, “Ugh, the teacher just gave us an assignment to do. It’s the first day! Really?” she sighs, shaking her head. Then her eyes widen and she asks, “Do you want to be my buddy for this project?”

“I- uh- yeah, sure,” you reply, stammering again.

“Okay, here,” she says, and steals your phone right out of your pocket. You jump a little, but she’s just putting her number in. “Call me or text me to get together to work on the project, okay?” she asks, giving your phone back and smiling.

“Um, yeah, I will,” you answer, and you smile a little. School could be a bit easier now.  
______________________________________

AP Calculus and Computers fly by and it’s lunchtime. Where are you supposed to sit? Should you eat lunch or not? What if you have to sit in the bathroom and eat your lunch alone like in Mean Girls? What if-

You see Aradia waving at you and you head over, sighing in relief. She’s sitting with a bunch of other kids you might vaguely recognize from different classes, like the girl with the cane and the red glasses and the terrifying grin is in your computer class, as well as the short angry-looking guy sitting next to her. You sit down next to Aradia and awkwardly mumble, “Hey.”

“Hi there! Everybody, this is Sollux,” Aradia introduces you to the group, grinning at you.

“Hey,” you say to the group, still feeling awkward.

“A new student?” the girl with the red glasses across the table from you leans towards you, her grin mildly terrifying, and you scoot back a little, alarmed. “I’m Terezi!” she then says, still grinning, and adds, “Yes, I’m blind!”, answering a question you never asked.

“Hi?” you say, more than a little creeped out.

“Karkat,” the short grumpy guy mutters, and your eyes widen in shock.

“KK?” you say, saying the nickname you had given your online friend.

“What the fuck? Sollux?” he asks, incredulous.

You laugh and say, “Holy shit dude, I never thought I’d get to meet you! Damn, thith ith weird.” Shit, you fucked up again. Shit. You fucked up.

On the bright side, nobody seems to take notice, so that’s good.

“Man, that’s weird. What are the chances of you coming to the school I go to? Damn,” he says, looking surprised.

“That’th definitely weird,” you reply, not really caring about your lisp anymore. Meeting your online friend is really weird, but he’s about what you pictured when talking to him. Short and angry most of the time.

The others introduce themselves as Tavros (the boy in the wheelchair), Nepeta (the one with the cat-hat?), Kanaya (the one who talks way too proper for you), Equius (the huge muscly guy- like damn, how many muscles can you have), and Gamzee (the one who’s “best motherfuckin’ bros” with KK and looks high- which, you find out later, he is).

The rest of the day goes smoothly. AP English flies by, and you find that KK is in your PE class. AP Physics is last, which Aradia turns out to be in as well. You think you’re really getting along with her.

When school is finally over, you find your beaten-up truck in the parking lot and wait for ‘Tuna. You two always drive home together.

You get home, sigh, and go straight upstairs. You just get to wait for your father to get home.

But the second you walk into your room, you yelp in surprise. There’s a pair of hands floating in front of your laptop and CREEPING THROUGH YOUR FILES, fuck. There’s only one explanation.

Eridan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> clIFFHANGer. Wow, that was a lot of words. So many. It was like 2,000. Dang. Thank you all for kudos and comments!


	7. A Completely Different Chapter, But School Still Sucks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mituna meets people at school, and Orpheus and Simon finally meet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, another chapter uploaded at weird hours. Orpheus and Simon finally meet, so that's a plus.

Your name is Mituna Captor and it is now the beginning of the school day on the first day of school for you. Sollux had just parked in the parking lot, and you both have to get some packets from the office before parting ways.

With Computers first, you grin and make your way to the classroom. Computers and anything electronic have always been your forte, Sollux’s too. It makes you glad that you have such an easy class so early in the morning. You walk into the classroom, hoping to see Sollux in there- which is stupid, considering he went the opposite way of where you were going when he got his packet- but he isn’t, so you turn to the teacher instead.

The teacher is extremely short and looks bored all the time and, you learn, speaks in a monotone.

“Welcome to this school and this class. You can take a seat right next to Ms. Pyrope over there,” he says, oh and there’s the monotone. You turn to see someone with red glasses and long black hair waving excitedly at you, sitting next to another girl who looks just like her but with shorter hair, different glasses and a cane?

You wave back and go to sit down, putting your backpack down and turning to face Ms. Pyrope. “Hi there,” you say, grinning.

“Hey there! I’m Latula, and this is my lil sis, Terezi,” she says, smiling back and gesturing to the girl sitting next to her.

“Hello, stranger,” Terezi says, not turning to look at you but grinning at her monitor.

“I’m Mituna,” you reply, smiling before turning to your computer and getting started on work. Latula turns to hers as well and starts typing quickly.

The rest of class passes by slowly, Latula occasionally turning to speak to you or Terezi. You learn she loves giving high-fives and skateboarding, and you love skateboarding too so you get along well.

By the end of class she’s declared you “radical” enough and gives you her number on a skateboard sticky note, which you put in your backpack with a vivid blush.

Next is AP Chemistry, but you don’t see Sollux in this class either, which disappoints you. You hope he’s in at least one of your classes, but when you go to AP English, he’s not in there either. But Latula is, and you sit next to her. She introduces you to Kankri, who wears a bright red sweater and talks way too much for you to take in.

The teacher cuts Kankri off mid-sentence when she starts talking and he glares at her, and to your surprise, the teacher glares right back at him. She must be used to dealing with him.

The way she talks makes you think she’s irritated and stressed all the time- which must be pretty accurate for most teachers, you realize. Wow.

That class stays quiet until one person speaks a bit too loudly while the teacher is talking, and the teacher goes off on them, yelling at them how important it is to stay quiet in class, which is ironic enough. Nonetheless, the rest of the class learns to stay quiet while the teacher is talking.

After that class, it’s lunch time. You grab your lunch and look around for Sollux, but you see him sitting with a bunch of new friends, including Latula’s sister, so you decide to wander around until you find Latula or somebody.

You do find her, sitting with Kankri and a bunch of people you don’t recognize. You bite your lip and make your way over, then ask, “Hey Tula, can I thit with you?” You don’t really care about your lisp, Sollux is the one that cares more about that.

“Sure!” she replies, grinning, scooting over and patting the space beside her. You sit down and wave to everybody else.

“Hey,” you say, smiling.

You meet each of them one-by-one. There’s Damara (who has an accent you can’t quite place), Rufioh (who says “bangarang” too much for you to handle), Meulin (who’s deaf and has to yell everything at you, but can still read lips), Porrim (who you decide is cool because she has so many tattoos), Aranea (who’s reading a book when she says hi to you), Horuss (who kind of freaks you out), Kurloz (who’s mute by choice, and apparently with deaf girl), and Meenah (who you can’t even handle with all her fish puns).

Then you recognize Aranea and say, “Hey, I know you! You’re the librarian at the local library, right?” On the day you and Sollux went to the library, while he had been dicking around on the computer, you had talked to Aranea for a bit.

“Yes I am,” she replies, smiling softly. “You’re the one who came in with your twin brother, yes?”

“Yeah, that wath me!”

Then you two get caught up with different people’s conversations, and the rest of lunch passes mostly with mild flirting between you and Tula. When lunch ends you groan, but go to class anyway.

AP US history.

Ugh.

You bear through it anyway, just to get to PE.

There’s Sollux!

FINALLY.

But he’s in a different class, so you sigh and go with your own class. You’re upset he’s not in any of your classes, but hopefully you’ll have more of your new friends in your classes. You spot the tall curly-haired guy- Carlos?- in your class, and you wave at him. He waves back, half-smiling, and then your coach starts taking roll so you pay attention to him instead.

Your PE teacher kind of scares you, so you listen to him attentively instead of slacking off.

Your next class, Finite Math, has you grinning as you see Aranea in there, and you sit down next to her. You two talk for a bit, just about random things, before the teacher walks in and you two quiet down.

After the teacher finishes teaching and gives out the homework, Aranea turns to you with a small smile. “So you and Latula are dating?”

You flush and start spluttering, “W- what, no, we only jutht met today, I-I don’t even know if she liketh me or not, oh my god-“

“Calm down, I’m just teasing,” she says with a grin, then continues, “Besides, you don’t know if she likes you or not.”

“I gueth tho,” you mumble, shrugging and turning to your homework, and Aranea drops it, thankfully.

After school, Sollux drives you two home and goes straight upstairs. Well, fine then, it’s not like you wanted to spend quality time with your twin anyway. You go into the kitchen and sigh to yourself. You need to grab a snack, then get started on your homework.  
_____________________________________________________

Your name is now Simon Captor, and you are the father of a young set of boys. You moved them both to California, and while you were happy with the move, neither of them were. But the mansion was cheap, and right near where your new job was, so they just have to deal.

Right now you’re at your new job, a tech company that invents new technology. It’s a well-paying job for something you love to do, so you gladly took the job, no matter if your sons disapprove.

You like the house so far, actually, and your new job too. You were enjoying taking apart and putting electronics together when you were notified it was time to take your lunch break, so here you are at home, poking around in the cupboards. There’s not much to eat, but that’s just because you haven’t gone on an actual grocery shopping trip yet, so you need to do that, but not now. Maybe tomorrow.

Then you hear angry voices from the dining room, and you freeze. Burglars? Fuck. You grab a knife and sneak over to the door that connects the kitchen and the dining room.   
Now that you can hear the voices better, it sounds like… a father lecturing his son? Huh. That’s… weird.

You peek around the corner, just to see what’s going on, and you first see two young men on either side of a handsome man around your age who’s sitting in your seat but they’re all transparent, fuck, ghosts?

You back up into the kitchen and put the knife down, shaking. It’s not like the knife’s going to do any good against ghosts, anyway. So there are ghosts in your house.

No wonder it was so cheap.

You calm down enough to go up to your room, sit down on your bed and put your head in your hands. What are you going to do? Will you tell Sollux and Mituna?

Who are you kidding, they probably already know, the sneaky bastards. It’d be just like them to keep something like this from you.

You’re not really sure if the ghosts are such a bad thing. The youngest one looked to be about the twins’ ages, while the other son looked to be about a year or two older.

Then their father…

Damn.

You have to admit, even when he’s angry at his sons for doing god knows what, he is pretty handsome. Slicked back black hair, a good, strong build, even the two scars that cross his face from above his left eye to his right cheek make him look good. You might actually go so far as to say you don’t mind this ghost being in your house.

What are you thinking? He’s a ghost, of course you would care if he was in your house!

You mentally argue with yourself for a while over whether or not you really want him in your house when, suddenly, the very ghost you’re thinking about appears just a couple feet in front of you.

You’d like to say that you were completely calm and cool, but you, in reality, shrieked like a little girl and jumped back at least 10 feet.

He looks just as startled as you are and, just as quickly as he had appeared, disappears.

Against your will, you call out, “Wait, come back! Sorry, I didn’t mean to… scare you. If I can, anyway, I mean… you’re a ghost.” You laugh nervously, running a hand through your hair. You could’ve scared him off, but you want to talk to him.

There’s a moment of silence, and then you sigh and get up. So he’s not reappearing? Fine then. You should eat something then get back to work, anyway.

Then he reappears again, and you’re proud to say that this time you just jumped a little.

“How can I help you?” this ghost asks stiffly, crossing his arms and looking down his nose at you.

“Um. Uh,” you stumble. You’re not the most coherent when faced with a really good-looking ghost. “I, uh. What- What’s your name?”

“Orpheus Ampora. And yours?” he asks, narrowing his eyes.

“Simon. Simon Captor,” you say, stepping back a bit. He’s kind of freaking you out now.

“Hmph. Well, I guess I should explain some things. I used to live in this house with my two sons, before we ended up as ghosts. My sons have been bothering yours, you should know; I told them not to, but they did anyway. You know teenagers. We won’t leave, and you can’t force us, simply because it’s impossible. Others have tried, and all have failed, so don’t bother,” he says as if he’s said it a lot before.

You raise an eyebrow and reply, “Why would I do that?”

“Because we’re ghosts,” he says, eyeing you suspiciously.

“But you haven’t done anything to bother us so far. I don’t see why we can’t live together,” you shrug.

He looks shocked, and it’s several seconds before he manages to say, “Well, that’s… good, then. I’ll leave now, I have things to deal with.”

You turn to the clock and oh shit, it’s past your lunch hour. “I have to go as well, my lunch break just ended.”

“Yes, of course. It… it was nice meeting you,” he says, and you can see a hint of discomfort in his face? That’s weird.

“It was nice meeting you too! Bye,” you say, smiling at him, then run downstairs to grab a quick snack before getting in your car and driving off to work. It’s a great idea to be late after a lunch break on the first day, but that was all Mister Orpheus Handsome Ampora’s fault.

It’s not your fault he’s really hot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another 2,000 words. Dang. I love writing this story so much, I'm so glad you guys are enjoying it! Seriously, all your comments make my day. c:


	8. Why Douchebags Shouldn't Be Allowed On Laptops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux has Aradia over to work on their project, but they end up talking about something else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, that something else is not relationships. The plot picks up a bit instead! Aaaand another chapter added at ungodly hours in the evening, wooo.

Your name is Sollux Captor and you are pretty fucking furious. You have walked in on, of all people (or ghosts), fucking ERIDAN on your LAPTOP. You don’t like anyone messing around on your laptop, first of all, but the fact that he did it while you weren’t home, while he KNEW you weren’t home, and without your permission?

You stomp over to your laptop and literally wrench his hands away from your laptop, resulting in a pained yelp and him fully appearing. He looks scared. Good. He should be.  
“What. The. FUCK. Were you doing on my laptop?” you ask in a low voice, holding his wrists captive as you glare at him.

“I wwasn’t doin’ anythin’, Sol- OW!” he yelps again as you twist his wrists.

“I repeat. What were you doing on my laptop?” you hiss, but untwist his wrists.

“I wwas just lookin’ through some files, okay?! But I didn’t mess wwith anythin’, I swwear!” he whines, trying to tug his wrists out of your grip to no avail. It’s like he’s forgotten he can just disappear. That’s pretty dumb.

“And you didn’t fuck anything up, right?” you tighten your grip on his wrists just barely, and he groans in pain.

“Yes, yes! I didn’t fuck anythin’ up, all right?” He’s still trying to tug his wrists out of your grip.

“Good,” you snap and let go of him.

He jumps away from you, then goes over to the bed, scowling and rubbing his wrists. “You could’vve just asked nicely, you knoww,” he grumbles, looking down.

You sit down in your chair and start closing any windows he opened. “You could’ve jutht dithappeared again, you know,” you reply as condescendingly as you can, scowling at your screen.

He flushes in embarrassment, and you sigh. “Thorry for hurting you,” you mumble, not making eye contact.

“Hurtin’ me? Sol, I’m a ghost. I can’t feel pain,” he says as he sort of smiles, and it’s your turn to flush in embarrassment. Of course he can’t feel pain, why did you try and hurt him to get answers? Well, you were angry, but still…

You sigh and say, “Thtill, I’m thorry.”

“It’s fine,” he mumbles back, and you two settle into a comfortable silence for a while as you get to work on some programs.

Eridan nearly scares the shit out of you when he sneaks up behind you unintentionally and asks, “Wwhat are you doin’?”

You yelp, but manage to recover your breathing a minute later and say, “Coding.”

“Wwhat’s that?”

“It’th… putting together different componenth… it’th… how do I explain it…? It’th like creating programth that do different thingth for your computer.”

“Is that wwhat all those zeroes an’ ones on your background are?”

“Yup.”

After that, he goes back to your bed and leaves you alone in another comfortable silence.

It startles both of you when your phone goes off in your pocket, and you pull it out. You don’t recognize the number, but you answer it anyway, “Hello?”

“Is this Sollux?”

“Aradia? Ith that you?” You lean back in your computer chair, raising an eyebrow. Eridan is giving you a weird look, but you ignore him.

“Sollux! I’m so glad I caught you. Hey, are you busy right now?”

“Um- I, uh, no. Why?”

“I was wondering if I could come over so we can work on our project! I would offer for you to come over instead, but my mom’s at work and probably wouldn’t want some boy I just met to come over today.”

“Yeah, it’th fine. I live in the mansion near the edge of town. Do you know the one?” you ask, and there’s silence from the line.

Then she says a bit less confidently, “Um… yeah! Yeah, I’ll be right over!”

Click.

She hung up.

You put your phone back down, and immediately Eridan asks you, “Wwho wwas that?”

“A girl I met at thchool today.”

“Is she comin’ ovver?”

“Yeth.”

“Wwhy?”

“We’re working on a project, okay? I don’t know when she’ll be over, but when she ith, you’re going to need to go away. You know that, right?”

“Fine,” he snaps, then disappears.

“Wait, I didn’t mean right now! … Fuck, whatever,” you grumble, and busy yourself with coding until Aradia gets here.  
__________________________________________________

Half an hour later, you hear the doorbell and you rush downstairs to get it. When you open the door, there’s Aradia standing there, and wow she still looks really pretty. You attempt to smile and mumble, “Hello,” before waving her in.

She greets you and steps inside the house, immediately looking up at the ceiling. “It’s so big in here!” she exclaims, grinning.

“Heh, yeah,” you say, awkwardly scratching the back of your head.

“So where do you want to work?” she asks then, turning to you.

“Um, I don’t really care. My room’th fine, I gueth,” you casually shrug, and you totally pulled it off correctly, shut up.

“Okay then!” she says cheerily, and you both start walking towards the stairs when your brother appears from the kitchen, munching on string cheese.

He sees you and Aradia and grins, asking, “You don’t even introduthe me and you’re already bringing her upthtairth? Clathy, Thollux.”

You flush a deep red and glare at him, but ignore him.

Aradia looks confused and asks, “Why is there a copy of you standing over there?”

“That’th my twin brother, Mituna. He’th an athhole. Now come on,” you grumble and start walking upstairs.

“Nithe to meet you, Thollux’th ‘friend’!” You can hear the quotations on the word “friend”, goddammit.

When you and Aradia get to your room, you close the door and sit down on the floor with her. “Tho, what ith thith project anyway?”

“We get to research the Cold War, and we have to do a presentation and everything. Sounds fun, right?” she says as she attempts a smile, but really looks 200% done with history class already.

“Ew,” you mumble, getting up to grab your laptop before sitting back down. “Tho what thpethifically do we need to rethearch?”

As you two start talking about the project, you notice Eridan sitting on your bed, behind Aradia so she can’t see him. He’s looking over her shoulder, scowling down on the papers you two have written on. Maybe you or she wrote something down that was wrong? Oh whatever, he can deal with it.  
_____________________________________________

Your name is Eridan Ampora and you’re pretty pissed. You admit it was your fault for getting on his laptop without permission, but then he has the audacity to invite some chick over when you were having a moment. Also, he specifically said you needed to not be there while she was.

He didn’t hurt you when he gripped your wrists, but he did hurt you when you had to point out that because you were dead he couldn’t hurt you.

Nonetheless, right now you’re staring down at their papers. They have some project to do, you don’t know. But it looks like they’re researching the Cold War.

You’re a bit of a history geek if you say so yourself. No, you’re definitely a history geek. You used to love history, acing all your history classes and reading history books in your free time. All of your friends- few as they were- knew you were the go-to person for help on history homework. You know, before you died.

You sigh as quietly as you can- I mean there’s a human who doesn’t know about you inches away from you- and settle back. You see Sollux glaring at you- what did you do this time? Damn.

You move to lie down on the bed and glare back at Sollux, who rolls his eyes at you and returns to conversing with Aradia.

Ugh. Aradia. You wish she weren’t here. She seems like a nice person, it’s just… you and Sollux were actually getting along for once, and then she came over. You’re not jealous! You’re not. You just wish you and Sollux could have some genuine non-romantic bro time.

Yeah, you’re not jealous at all.  
___________________________________

Your name is once again Sollux Captor, and you are currently working on a project with Aradia while trying to ignore Eridan, who looks upset for who knows what reasons. But you’ve been paying attention to Aradia as well, and you can see her getting increasingly uncomfortable? She keeps looking around her, and frowning a bit. You haven’t moved from your spot… maybe she senses Eridan right behind her?

You chew on your lip, then ask, “Hey, what’th up? You look… um… uncomfortable.”

She jumps, obviously not expecting you to notice, then looks down and mumbles, “Well, this house… No, never mind, it’s stupid.”

But your curiosity has been piqued. “What ith it?”

She sighs, then looks up at you nervously. “Well, there have been… rumors. Rumors about this house, the old Ampora mansion.”

“What rumorth are thothe?” Shit, is this why Aranea told you not to ask about it? You can see Eridan’s paying attention now though, sitting up and looking at the back of her head.

“Well, the old owners… you know, Dualscar and his two sons… were really rich. Like, super rich. Filthy rich. When the younger son, Eridan, was a junior and the older son, Cronus, was a senior, they vanished. Completely.”

“What the fuck…?” you mumble, staring wide-eyed at her.

“It’s a local tale that I’ve heard- it happened quite a few years ago, maybe about 20 years ago. They had to destroy all records of it for it not to get out, of course… I mean, Dualscar was a very important businessman, so a lot of people knew of him, which is why they had to cover the disappearance up. Only the locals know about it… I heard it from my mom. But since you just moved here, it makes sense that you don’t know.”

“What… what are thome of the rumorth?” you ask, a little bit scared but curious enough.

“Well… there are some that the Amporas just completely moved out and went to a different town without saying good-bye. There are others that they were wanted by the FBI and had to move to a different country. But the most popular one is that they were murdered,” she says, her voice hushed.

“Murdered?” Shit, that would explain a lot, wouldn’t it?

“Yeah. Of course, then there are different rumors for what they did with the bodies. Cut up and thrown in a well, buried in the cellar, burned and put in the archives of the Town Hall…”

“Damn. That’th thome… methed up shit. But nobody really knowth what happened, do they?”

“No, not really. Nobody talks about it, of course, because it was a bad time in history,” she says, looking at you without a smile for once.

“That might explain why the librarian wouldn’t talk when I athked her about it… I went to do rethearch at the library, but I couldn’t find anything on the computer or paper files. When I athked the librarian, she warned me not to ask anyone about it,” you say, looking down and frowning.

“Like I said, nobody talks about it. Anyone who does… well, we don’t hear from them ever again. I’ll put it that way,” she says, and now you’re legitimately scared.

“But… we’re talking about it,” you point out, raising an eyebrow.

“It’s not like they have eyes and ears everywhere! Come on Sollux, do you really think they’ll know if we’re talking about it inside the mansion itself?” she laughs, and you both drop it to return to your project, but you can’t stop thinking about it.

Your life just got a lot more interesting.  
_______________________________________

Your name is once again Eridan Ampora, and for you, death just got a lot more complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eridan's totally jealous. Just so you know, this story will have a happy ending. I promise. Maybe.


	9. All the Assholes Know Each Other Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux tells everyone (except his father, who isn't home) about what his (girl)friend said, and Cronus and Mituna have a very interesting conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuses for why this is so late other than procrastination, mostly. It's been over a week, I'm dumb, sorry D: Also it's shorter than usual ): The next chapter will be longer, I promise!

Your name is Cronus Ampora, and wow it’s been a long time since you’ve been… you. Yeah.

You’re currently at the table with your father and your brother and the two Captor twins, who had explained what Aradia said about the Ampora incident. Aradia had already left with a promise that she’d be back tomorrow to work more on the project.

You don’t know how you can take what the younger Captor told you. He said his “lady friend” (he’s totally into her, but he insists they’re just friends) told him what happened. You don’t know how to take it. You were fine with accepting you were dead and getting over it, but now this? You just… ugh.

Introductions between the 5 of you came rather easy, once your dad got over the fact that the Captors knew about you guys and didn’t want to move out, unlike the last people that tried to move in.

Funny story: They arrived at the house, unpacked everything, and walked in on Orpheus yelling at you two for going into town and harassing people. Needless to say, it was only an hour before they had re-packed their things and went away.

Another funny story: Unlike what most people think, ghosts can, in fact, move around and away from the place they died. Which is why you and Eridan had gone out to town, partly to explore what had changed since you had died, a little because your father forced you out because there were people moving in, but mostly to terrorize. Needless to say, your father wasn’t very happy with you, and that’s the not so funny part of the story.

Back to the present: your father is currently processing the information given to him by this scrawny nerd (it’s what you call him, because that’s what he is), judging by the look on his face. His face is all scrunched up, making his nose scrunched up, making his scars scrunched up.

“Well, I guess that’s that. And you say no one will talk about it?” your father asks after a while, eyeing Sollux.

“Nope. I went to the library to rethearch thith whole thing, and the librarian, Aranea, gave me a lecture on not telling anyone,” the scrawny nerd replies.

“Aranea?” Eridan perks up, and oh no. Shit, that’s that one chick, huh? The chick that- oh. Oh.

“So you couldn’t find anythin’ at the library, huh?” you quickly cut him off, and he looks mildly hurt.

“Not a thing. Tuna and I thearched for hourth, though. I gueth I could try the thchool library, but I doubt they have anything either. AA did thay that they dethtroyed any recordth about it, though, tho I don’t think we can find anything there, or anywhere. But I’m sure thomeone in the town knowth what happened, okay? And I will find out, I promithe you that,” he says, a determined look in his eyes.

“That’s a big thing you’re promisin’,” Eridan notes, raising his eyebrows.

“I think it’th pothible, if I get help from people, like Tuna, and Dad,” Sollux replies, slapping the hand Mituna was offering him for a high-five.

“Speaking of your father,” Orpheus interrupts, looking at Sollux and Mituna, “I met him today. He was back for his lunch break, I believe, and I walked into his room- well, I appeared in his room- and he was sitting there. He saw me before I could vanish, and so we talked a bit and then he left for work.”

Talked a bit, huh? You smirk at him, and he deftly avoids eye contact with you as you raise your eyebrows suggestively.

“He’ll be back in an hour or tho… I gueth we can disthcuth it with him then,” Sollux points out.

“That’s fine,” Orpheus replies, then gets up and leaves the room. Everyone else follows suit, going in different directions. Now there’s time to kill, waiting for the eldest Captor to get home from work.

You decide to follow Mituna, just because he’s staying in what was your room but now is his. You walk into his room to find him on his bed, on his phone and texting rapidly. You sit down at the end of his bed and drawl, “Vwhat’s up, chief?”

“Nope,” he says flatly, still texting.

You frown and mumble, “You ain’t gonna evwen givwe me a chance, chief?”

“Nope.”

You groan and lean back, then poke his leg with your foot. He looks over just to scowl at you, then goes back to texting. Success.

You keep poking his leg with your foot until he moves his legs and snaps, “Quit it.”

“I’m boooored,” you whine, moving over just to nudge his leg again.

“And I’m buthy. Go bother thomeone elthe,” he mutters, then goes back to texting someone quickly.

“So. Who are ya textin’?” you ask, smirking at him.

“How do you know what texting ith?” he counters, raising an eyebrow at you.

“Oh c’mon, I’m not THAT outta date. I’vwe been around the towvn a bit, I knowv vwhat textin’ is. Nowv, who are ya textin’?”

“… A perthon I met at thchool today.”

“Oooh, is it a girl?” you say as you wiggle your eyebrows at him, still smirking.

“Why do you automatically athume that it’th a girl? C’mon, man,” and then he’s smirking at you now.

“’Ey man, I don’t judge, you can like whoevwer you vwant,” you shrug. You personally have a preference for anyone who’s hot (maybe including the very person you’re sitting on a bed with), so it doesn’t matter who he likes.

“Good. … It ith a girl,” he admits after a few moments.

You smirk and reply, “Called it.”

“Oh, shut up. Hey, you said you’ve been around the town a bit, right?” He’s trying to change the subject, but you go with it anyway, rolling your eyes.

“Yeah, vwhat about it?”

“I didn’t know ghothth could leave the plathe of their death…”

“Neither did Eri or I, until vwe decided to go havwe a look around, see vwhat’s changed. Until vwe had gone to towvn, vwe hadn’t had any contact vwith anybody for years, except for people who havwe tried to movwe in…” As you speak, you look up, lost in thought, then trail off.

“What other people have tried moving in?” Mituna asks, and he’s put his phone down. Ah yes, this is what you wanted, a conversation with him without him being on his phone and ignoring you. Well, you mean you would’ve liked a conversation with whoever was around, not just Mituna… okay yeah, maybe just Mituna.

And now he’s been staring at you increasingly weirdly as you sit there in thought, shit. You quickly say, “Um, a couple a families, I guess. There vwas one that tried movwin’ in soon after vwe died… and then there vwas another one that had actually heard the rumors but vwanted to be bravwe or some shit like that. Then there vwas one that vwalked in on Dad yellin’ at Eri an’ me… god, that vwas a good story. But yeah, then you guys movwed in.”

As you’ve been talking, he’s been getting increasingly closer by the second, shifting forward on the bed, and now he’s right in front of you. He seems to realize this and scoots back a bit, but keeps looking at you. “Are we the firtht family that didn’t move away becauthe of you guyth?”

“Yeah, pretty much. The first an’ second families vwe chased out ‘cause they vwere fuckin’ annoyin’… I think Eri vwas sad to see ‘em go, though,” you say thoughtfully. You remember Eridan had been distraught for some reason over them leaving, but you were fine.

“Why?”

“Hell if I know, kid.”

“I’m not a kid!” he scowls at you, and you roll your eyes, replying, “I didn’t mean it like that, I meant it in a friendly term.”

He looks surprised, then mumbles, “Doeth that mean we’re friendth now?”

It’s your turn to look surprised as you reply, “Yeah, I thought that vwas implied, chief.”

He looks thoughtful, then shrugs and nods. Then he says, “Tho we can explore the town after Dad getth home, right?”

“Depends on the time he gets home, I guess,” you reply, frowning slightly.

“About five, or around that time. That’ll give uth enough time to explore.”

“Vwe can take Eri an’ your brother, as vwell. Vwe can show you around a bit, an’ let you meet people. Although vwe’ll be invwisible, you can still hear us. Vwe can vwhisper or somethin’.”

“That’th a good idea. Let’th wait ‘til Dad getth home, though, jutht in cathe he thayth we can’t at thith hour,” he replies, moving back to his original spot on the bed. You feel a brief twinge of disappointment as he moves, then crush that feeling, a bit confused- you’ll deal with it later.

“Yeah, vwe’ll vwait,” you sigh, looking at the clock. It’s only 4:30 now, having wasted time after the twins went to school with whatever project Sollux was working on, and then talking about what his (girl)friend said. Still a half-hour to go. You groan and stretch out on the bed, closing your eyes and trying to remember what it was like to dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do I always end each chapter with a cliffhanger, small or large? Because I'm an author. Muhahaha.


	10. Makin' My Wway Dowwntowwn, Wwalkin' Fatht

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan bugs Sollux a bunch, they all go out into the town, a new character is revealed and Eridan is totally jealous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, lemme just say that I am so sorry for how late this was. With summer homework reading (I just finished "I Am Malala"- it's a great book, 11/10 would recommend :D ) and shitty Wi-Fi and trips everywhere I've barely had any time. So here's an extra long chapter, and have fun reading this!

Your name is Eridan Ampora and you are so done with everyone and everything. Before Sollux’s father came home, Cronus had dropped by a while ago to inform you and Sollux that you were going out to explore the town, which was great, just what you wanted. To float around town for hours with a couple of assholes and try to talk to them without people who are walking by noticing, with the added bonus of possibly seeing old rivals? Sounds great.

On the other hand, it is a prime opportunity to hang out with a prime piece of ass you’ve been secretly checking out for the past 15 minutes. Okay, maybe it’s not so secret, you have nothing else to do and Sollux is a nice bit of eye candy. He’s typing away on his laptop, but from the place you’re sitting, against the wall on his left, near the door to the bathroom, you can see his profile. The way his eyebrows raise in surprise and lower into a frown, the way his glasses slowly slide down on his angled nose so his (nice long) fingers have to push them back up, the way his lips curl downwards into a frown. Especially the way his lips curl downwards into a frown.

It’s only been 15 minutes and you’re still bored. Time is crawling by, and you sigh loudly, slumping against the wall and hoping he gets the hint. He ignores you. What a dick. You’re obviously suffering here, and he just leaves you to fend for yourself?

You hoist yourself up and sit next to his laptop on his desk, whining and slumping forward. He glares at you for a brief second, then turns back to his laptop. You groan and drape yourself across his laptop, probably pressing a few keys on it but not really giving a fuck.

“For fuck’th thake ED, I’m trying to work. Get off my fucking computer or I will thmack you,” he growls, trying to shove at you, and wow what do you know, he can actually touch you when you’re in solid form. You smirk at that but file that thought away for another time.

“I’m boooored, Sol. An’ since I wwas technically livvin’ here first, so you havve to entertain me,” you answer snobbily, crossing your arms.

“Newthflash: I don’t give a fuck. Now get off,” he growls, still trying to push you off.

All you do is turn your face towards him, smirk, and wiggle your eyebrows, and he really does smack you on the stomach this time, scowling at you.

“Look, I’m buthy and you’re in my way, so get the fuck off or I will make you,” he hisses at you, now trying to pull you off, but still to no success.

“Sol, I knoww I’m hot an’ you wwant me, but you’re comin’ on a lil’ strong,” you smirk at him, crossing your arms and lying on your back on top of his laptop and wow he’s picking you up now, bridal style. You fake swoon, calling out his name in a falsetto, and get promptly dumped on the floor before he goes back to his laptop.

Well fine then, you guess it’s going to be the hard way.

You tug at the column of his super fancy spinny chair, trying to tug him away from the computer, but he digs his feet into the floor. No success.

Next you drape your arms around his neck from behind, smirking as a blush creeps up his neck while you whisper his name in his ear and owowow he just punched you in the face, sending you backwards and onto your ass. Ugh.

Luckily for you, all this time you had spent bugging him and trying to get him to notice you had been enough time for Simon Captor to get home. As the door downstairs opened and closed, you bolted out of Sollux’s bedroom and downstairs. It took Sollux longer because of his puny mortal legs, but eventually everyone meets up in the dining hall.

It shocked Simon enough that everybody knew each other that he had to sit down, putting his bag down as he stared suspiciously at you and Cronus. But Sollux and Mituna quickly explained the situation, albeit slowly because Sollux was distracted, mostly by you repeatedly kicking his legs under the table as he was across from you.

Simon actually took the information about the ghosts and the rumors pretty well, you thought, because if he had thrown a hissy fit about it, although he doesn’t seem the type to do that. However, when Mituna asks him if they  can explore the town a bit, he says no.

“But why noooot?” Mituna’s whining, sagging against his father.

“It’s too late to do that; you still need to eat dinner, and I’m sure you two both have homework that you didn’t do because you were busy messing around with the Amporas,” he says, rolling his eyes.

You can’t help but think, well no not messing around with them _yet,_ but you don’t say it aloud because either Simon or your father (or probably both) would punch your face in, and you like your face exactly the way it is, thank you.

With your internal monologue you nearly miss Mituna whining a bit more at his father, and then Simon finally relents, “How about this weekend you can go explore town, okay? I’ll give you some money and you can get lunch or snacks or video games or something.”

“But Daaaad, it’th only Mondayyyy!” Mituna keeps whining, rolling his heterochromatic eyes at his father.

“You can wait. Now go do your homework while I make dinner,” Simon says, then gets up and goes to the kitchen. Mituna groans loudly and dramatically leaves the room, Sollux sighing and going after him.

Looks like it’s going to be a long week of being bored to death at home with your father and brother.

__________________________________________________________

Your name is still Eridan Ampora- no POV switches for you. It is finally Saturday, but it’s not like you’re excited to go out with your brother and the twins. Nope. Okay, maybe just a little.

Nonetheless, you’re a bit angry at Sollux anyway. With all the time he’s been spending with Aradia, “working on their project” (but really most of the time they were just talking and laughing together), he’s had almost no time for you. Whenever he wasn’t with Aradia he was on his laptop, typing away on Pesterchum to one of his fifty million friends. You get lonely, dammit! You want attention and he doesn’t pay attention to you. Fuckin’ ridiculous.

Nonetheless, now that it’s Saturday, you’re being dragged into town. Not to do anything really special, just to walk around and explore. It sounds boring, as you and Cronus have been around the city many times, but you’re going anyway.

Of course, being disturbed at 7 o’clock in the morning was not so fun. You were sitting against the wall as usual, totally not creepily watching him as he sleeps, admiring the curve of his chest rising up and down as he breathes slowly, watching his face muscles twitch either in a frown, or in a rare smile. Anyway, you were sitting there when Mituna bursts in, yelling about going out to town and shaking his twin.

Sollux groans and waves his hand in the general direction of Mituna’s voice, trying to smack him but failing miserably as Mituna dodges him.

“Come on Thollux, get uuuup,” Mituna groans, pulling Sollux’s arm and trying to get him out of his bed.

“I thwear to god Tuna, it’th… it’th fucking theven o’clock in the morning. I’m going to kill you,” Sollux growls, then throws off his covers to shove his brother off the bed, then pinning him down on the floor. Mituna fakes struggling, laughing as Sollux growls and sits on his stomach, effectively crushing him. Mituna groans and collapses, putting a hand up to his forehead and moaning, “Oh no, here cometh my death at the handth of my own brother, my grim demithe!”

You groan and finally get up, bodily tearing Sol of off Mituna- you know you’re much stronger than your thin build suggests, but the way Sol flails is totally worth it.

“C’mon you twwo, knock it the fuck off. Sol, get dressed, wwe’re goin’ out. Mituna, go bug Cro or someone,” you say, and shoo Mituna out before leaving the room yourself so Sol can get dressed in peace.

You arrive downstairs to see Cronus sitting in the dining hall, his feet up on the table. You growl and smack his feet off the table, then sit down across from him. “Havve some fuckin’ manners, Cro.”

“It’s better to relax an’ chill out than to havwe some ‘fuckin’ manners’,” Cronus replies, rolling his eyes and putting his feet back up on the table. You two gripe and grumble for a bit before Sollux and Mituna arrive downstairs, one of them grinning and the other grumbling, but eventually you four make it out the door with lots of good-byes to your respective dads and money given and to be home by dinner and lots of rule reminders and etc.

You and Cro do have to blend in, so you both disappear, but reassure Sollux and Mituna that they can still talk to you.

It’s a bit of a walk to town, but not much considering the Ampora Mansion is a ways away from town, but close enough to be accessible. When you all finally arrive in town, Mituna sets off in a random direction down the main street, where you know lots of shops and restaurants reside. Though it’s been a while since you were out here last, so there are a few new shops.

Mituna starts tugging Sollux towards a candy shop, but Sollux reminds him that they haven’t even had breakfast yet. Right on cue, Mituna’s stomach growls, and Cronus starts laughing, the asshole. You smack him for being loud, even though there aren’t any people nearby.

Sollux brings Mituna to a small café, with outside space for dining and inside space as well. You and Cronus follow them in as the twins go up, getting a table for two. You groan as you realize that you’ll probably end up sitting on either the floor or the table (or possibly Sollux’s lap, heh), but the waitress leads them to a booth and you sigh, sitting next to Sollux as he sits opposite Mituna, Cronus sitting next to him.

You groan and whine as they take fuckin’ forever to order, finally Mituna gets some waffles and Sollux gets some pancakes. Then you wrinkle your nose in disgust as he drowns them in honey, basically upending  the bottle. You don’t fail to tell him so, “The amount a’ honey you put on those pancakes is fuckin’ disgustin’.”

“And it’th none of your buthineth,” he mumbles back before shoving a honey-drenched pancake into his mouth. You shudder in disgust.

One very disgusting and boring breakfast later, Sollux pays and then drags Mituna out of the restaurant. You and Cronus follow as you all stroll slowly through the town, eyeing the different shops and occasionally going in some. When you end up in the hair care section of the reasonably-sized grocery store, it takes threats of leaving you there and then Cronus actually dragging you away to lead you away from the section.

It’s a beautiful day outside, which is a rarity in Oregon, so it’s nice. The sun is shining down, so when you four stop at another little restaurant for lunch, you decide to sit outside. They end up getting a table for two, so after Sollux attempts to smack you (it goes straight through your mid-section) because you asked if you could sit on his lap, you take that as a no and sit on the ground, Cronus next to you. You would sit on the fence that encases the outside seating area, which is right next to Sollux and Mituna’s table, but you’d probably just float through. Maybe you could float through the ground if you tried hard enough.

Or maybe if you sat on Sollux’s lap you’d float through that.

Nonetheless, you watch from the ground as the twins eat their sandwiches, and you mumble to Cronus how fuckin’ unfair it is that you have to sit on the ground while their living asses get to be on the fancy chairs. He replies that yes, they are very fancy, but not as fancy as Mituna. You roll your eyes and smack him; that was pretty bad. Really bad.

When they’re finished with lunch, they wander around the small town, not just the main street. There are a lots of houses, plus one hotel you doubt ever gets used. It’s a cute little town, you’ll admit, and the twins soon admit. There are children playing outside, most of whom you avoid because children.

Then you pass the Town Hall.

The mayor of the town was Mayor English last you checked, and it seems to still be. Mayor English basically ruled over the town, and everybody loved him, but he never spoke to anyone directly, except for his most trusted servants, Connie Peixes and Jack Noir. He gives public speeches sometimes, but other than that, doesn’t talk to anybody outside the Town Hall.

You whisper to Sollux and ask if Mayor English is still the mayor, and he mumbles back that he doesn’t fucking know, he just moved here. You whine and moan at him until he groans and goes over the Town Hall, reading some of the posters up and yep, Mayor English is definitely still the Mayor. Ugh.

You never liked him much. He was an asshole, to simply put it. From what you heard from him, anyway. But that was years ago and you’d think that you’d be over it, but nah.

Nonetheless, you all continue on to wander around some of the super fancy houses around that neighborhood, admiring the old style of house, but none of them come near to the size of your- dammit, not again- the Captors’ mansion. It’s by far the biggest house in the town.

As you pass a bright pink-colored house- you could say it’s a fuchsia-, you turn to look at it a bit more closely.

You remember… the first people that tried to move in, they were two sisters who didn’t get along very well. One of them was obsessed with power and money while the other was always nice and kind, smiling and giving to those a bit less fortunate in the town. You definitely liked the more bubbly one, and you were happy for _her_ to stay. But… your father didn’t like them, and you three ended up chasing them both out, but not before you had developed a bond with the excited girl.

Her name was Feferi Peixes, and she was your first young love.

She went to school with you, and she was your best friend. When she found your ghost, she was understandably devastated, but you got to bond with her once more even in death. Her favorite color, as well as her older sister Connie’s favorite color, was always fuchsia, and you have the feeling you know who owns this house.

But you were only meant to be friends with Feferi, and the bond you had grown with her in death was broken when you, your brother and your father pushed the two sisters out, quite literally. While Cronus and Orpheus made their lives a living hell, hiding things and breaking things and bugging them when they were busy, you stood by and did nothing. You still beat yourself up about it.

Nonetheless, you’re over that like the mature adult you were supposed to be (if you hadn’t died) and continue on in death to meet other people. At this point you’ve realized that yes, your relationship with Feferi was never meant to go beyond best friends and you’ve accepted it.

While you’ve been lost in your thoughts, you haven’t been paying attention to where you’re going and end up in Sollux- no, not like that, get your mind out of the gutter. He hasn’t seem to have noticed, but you step to the side anyway. That was weird.

It’s nearing dinner time, so you sigh as you have to go back to the mansion, and the four of you start heading back. There’s a comfortable silence in the air as you walk along the side of the road that leads to the mansion, the sun slowly going down, not quite so high in the sky anymore.

In the meantime you’re definitely not checking out Sollux’s ass, walking behind him, but Cronus nudges you from his place beside you and winks, and later when questioned you deny looking in any general direction of any parts of Sollux’s body. You didn’t. It never happened.

When you four get back, you head back up to Sollux’s room to avoid the whole being-questioned-by-parents-for-10-years thing. Even your own father sometimes did that to you after school, though most of the time he was busy with work and stuff. You survived, though, so hopefully Sollux and Mituna will.

After setting yourself on the bed and lying back, you’re startled when you hear your father’s voice, “Hello, son.”

You sit up, waving at him, “Hi father.”

He sits down next to you, raising an eyebrow, “Cronus tells me you have a thing for the twin that lives in this room.”

You flush horribly and spend the next 30 seconds making an array of shocked and disgusted sounds before finally spluttering, “I wwould never!”

He raises his other eyebrow.

You keep spluttering.

He decides to put you out of your misery and interrupt you by saying, “It wouldn’t work, you know. We’re ghosts. Remember what happened last time-“

“Yes, I fuckin’ get it, wwe’re ghosts an’ can’t interact wwith the livvin’ cause a some stupid bullshit that happened 25 years ago, I get it!” you snap at him, crossing your arms sulkily.

He just sighs, used to you and your dramatic bullshit, and gets up to leave. As he’s at the door, he turns and says, “Look, son… I just don’t want you to become too attached again. Okay?”

When you don’t reply, he sighs and leaves.

You groan and collapse on the bed.

You don’t have any feelings for Sollux.

You don’t.

But that night, when you’re watching Sollux converse with Aradia and her dark red text over some Trollian thing, and you realize he’s smiling while talking to her but doesn’t seem to notice, you try to ignore the feeling of jealousy in your heart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eridan's still jealous, and Sollux is oblivious. There were so many sexual references in there I don't even know where to start, I'm so sorry. But after this chapter the plot should pick up a bit, so yay! Also, 10th chapter is the longest chapter with over 3,000 words. Ye. If I get to a 20th chapter I'ma make that one super long too!


	11. More Jealousy, And A Change In Perspective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux discovers something about the Ampora mystery, and we get a whole new perspective from a very different person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuses for why this is so late. Procastination. Writer's block. Netflix. They're all the same. Well, enjoy this chapter, because who knows when I'll post the next one?

Your name is now Cronus Ampora, and you had fun watching your father talk to Eridan about the whole Sollux thing. You laughed at him- he was definitely checking out Sollux’s ass. And he could have Sollux all he wanted; no, you were after his twin, Mituna. Sure, Sollux was cute, you’d admit that because they’re twins, but Mituna is his own brand of cute. He’s enthusiastic, and excitable, and fuckin’ cute when he’s sleeping… not that you watch him when he’s sleeping.

But he’s always going out with “Tula”, whom you’ve gathered is Latula, and so you wouldn’t have a chance there. You guess this is what Eridan feels like. It’s been at least a week since you four went out to explore town… but Mituna’s been going out with his new friends more and more often.

But whatever. You’re just waiting for him to get back, you guess, but it’s pretty damn boring. So instead you go over to Erida- fuck, Sollux’s room, you keep forgetting it’s not his anymore. It’s been too long since it was actually your father’s house, so you could call the master bedroom Orpheus’s bedroom, and your bedroom Cronus’s bedroom, and Eridan’s bedroom was Eridan’s bedroom. Damn.

Whatever. You sigh and go over to Eridan’s room, but when you arrive, you find Eridan sulking outside. The door’s closed.

“Um, vwhat’s goin’ on, chief?” you ask, raising an eyebrow and shifting your cigarette to the other side of your mouth.

“Sol kicked me out yesterday an’ hasn’t let me back in since then,” he grumbles sullenly, looking down at the floor, his arms around his knees pressed close to his chest.

You can’t help but snort, taking out your cigarette to not lose it. “You’re tellin’ me that scrawny fuckin’ nerd kicked you, a powerful ghost that could be in his room regardless a’ vwhat he vwanted, out a’ his room?”

“Shut up, Cro,” he sulks some more, staring defiantly at the floor.

You snort again and say, “You gotta teach these humans some respect, chief. They ain’t gonna respect ya if ya just roll ovwer for them vwhen they tell you to. I’m goin’ in an’ havwin’ a talk vwith him.”

Before Eridan can protest, you stroll straight through the door and you can’t even believe it.

There’s soda cans and empty chip bags everywhere, and clothes strewn about, and all the lights are off. You wouldn’t even be able to see the mess everywhere if it hadn’t been for the computer screen light, with a silhouette on it which looks suspiciously like Sollux. You go over to him, trying to avoid the piles of oh my god you swear something just moved, and go to the side of his desk.

He doesn’t acknowledge you.

You sigh and poke him. “Hey. Hey chief.”

He just keeps typing.

You frown and ask, “Vwhy’d ya kick my little bro out?”

He still doesn’t respond.

You sigh and say, “Look, man-“

“Shut the fuck up.”

You freeze, shocked. Those words seem to have come out of his mouth, yes, but he didn’t turn to look at you, or acknowledge you at all. “Um… vwhat vwas that you just said?” you ask, just to make sure, awkwardly scratching the back of your neck.

“I thaid shut the fuck up. I’m buthy,” and that’s all you get out of him for the next 10 minutes you try to talk to him. Time to up your game.

You go outside the room to meet Eridan again, who doesn’t even bother to greet you. Rude. “Hey. Eri,” you poke him with your foot.

He groans and looks up at you, scowling. “Wwhat do you wwant?”

“Come in vwith me. He ain’t respondin’ to anythin’ I do,” you whine, now trying to tug at his arm.

He smacks at your hand, then groans dramatically and stands up. “Fuckin’ fine, I’ll help you in wwhatevver dumb thing you’vve thought up this time.”

He hesitates to follow you through the door to Sollux’s room, but apparently decides “Fuck it” and follows you anyway. Then shrieks so loudly people miles away could probably hear it so clear it was like he was standing right next to them.

“Wwhat the FUCK havve you done to my- this room?!” he yells at the figure in front of the computer, obviously outraged.

But Sollux doesn’t respond.

And just as Eridan is about to go on a rant, a rant so memorable generations will be talking about it for ages, Sollux slams both palms on his desk on either side of his computer and shouts, “Yeth! I’m in!”

Eridan freezes, obviously surprised. Nobody ignores Eridan but talks to themselves, you guess. Whatever.

“You’re in… wwhat?” he hesitantly asks, still looking pretty confused.

“I got into the computer network the mayor runth!” Sollux exclaims, turning around and grinning from ear-to-ear. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him smile. Wow. Eridan sure looks even more surprised.

“Vwell, congrats?” you say, shrugging.

He immediately goes back to scowling (you notice Eridan looking a bit disappointed) and replies, “I’m doing it to find out what happened to you!”

“Oh. Vwell then, that’s good I guess, but didn’t evwerybody delete all files concerin’ vwhat happened to us?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

“No, I’m nearly pothitive they kept thome fileth contherning what happened, even if they keep it under thome of the betht virtual lockth pothible. Which ith what I got patht,” he says proudly, gesturing to his computer. You and Eridan get closer to see, and it’s a bunch of files on screen, all labeled differently.

“You kicked me out of wwhat used to be my owwn fuckin’ room for this bullshit?” Eridan asks, scowling at Sollux.

Sollux scowls right back to stand up and get in Eridan’s face- they’re about the same height, although Sollux is a bit taller. “Are you telling me you don’t fucking appreciate the time I’ve thpent trying to get through thith? The hourth I thpent chugging energy drinkth and eating chipth jutht to get to information that could help you move on? That I’ve done for you and your undead family?”

Eridan hisses and moves even closer, just a foot away. “You aren’t doin’ this shit for us, are you, though? No, you said it yourself you’re doin’ it ‘cause you wwant us _gone._ You wwant us outta this house so you can finally quite wworryin’ about me wwatchin’ you in the showwer or some shit. You don’t wwant us to movve on, no; you just wwant us out of the house. You said so yourself.”

Sollux crosses his arms and quits slouching for once so he can look down his nose at Eridan, arguing, “Are you fucking kidding me? I thpent fucking HOURTH on thith shit, and that’th all you have to thay to me? That I’m doing thith for mythelf inthtead of for you? You should be grateful I’m doing thith at all, athhat.”

By this time they’re so close their noses are nearly touching, and look one step from either angrily kissing or punching each other in the face, so you roll your eyes and use your hands to separate them, stepping between them. “Look, Eri, he IS doin’ this. Maybe not for us, but the fact that he’s doin’ it at all is fine. An’ Captor, back offa my brother. He’s naturally offended my most evwerythin’ that pertains to him. Nowv both a’ you, calm dowvn an’ get outta each other’s faces so Captor can go back to vwork, diggin’ up files an’ stuff.”

They both sigh and, after sending glares to each other, part ways. Sollux goes back to the computer, digging around in the files, and Eridan goes to sit down on the bed. You follow and sit next to him, then put an arm around him. “C’mon, Eri’, you can’t take out your sexual frustration on evverbody that movves in.”

“Fuck you, I ain’t sexually frustrated,” he snaps, shrugging your arm off of him.

“You totally are,” Sollux chimes in from the computer, and you have to physically hold Eridan down so he won’t go over and punch him in the face.

“Wwell, let’s see you be a ghost for wwho knowws howw many years an’ NOT be sexually frustrated,” Eridan hisses at Sollux, crossing his arms and scowling.

“Even if I were a ghotht I’d be picking up people left and right,” Sollux scoffs, but still typing away at the computer.

“Sure you wwould,” Eridan grumbles sulkily, glaring at Sollux’s back.

The next couple of minutes are an awkward silence, mostly Sollux typing and you trying to comfort Eridan while he slaps your arm away from his shoulders, until Sollux finally shouts, “I got thomething!”

You and Eridan are over there in an instant, you on Sollux’s left side and Eridan on his right. Sollux is oblivious to you two basically invading his privacy, and starts talking. “Tho, there’th a file I jutht found in the Mayor’th laptop-“

“You got into the Mayor’s fuckin’ laptop?!” Eridan exclaims, looking down at Sollux in shock.

Sollux glowers at him, mutters a quick “Shut the fuck up”, then continues.

“Ath I wath thaying, there’th thith file I jutht found. It’th a Word document that theemth to be in the form of… a journal?”

________________________________________________

Your name is now Jack Noir and you’re so done serving under Mayor English. Along with Connie Peixes, you help the Mayor out with anything he needs. Right now His Highness has you researching the family that recently moved into the Ampora Mansion, but nothing’s really turning up, except basic info, like the head Captor’s job and the two sons’ school stuff. Turns out they’re all tech geniuses or something.

But you’re completely done with the whole case. Your computer, along with English’s and Peixes’s, is supposed to go off when someone searches anything related to the Amporas or the mansion, so when it went off a little over a week ago, it was your job to track down the idiot that searched it and find out everything about them. Kind of like an assassin.

So you found out from the librarian, Aranea (after lots of threats), that it was one of the twins who moved into the mansion. You’ve spent a ridiculous amount of time researching them, and you’ve gotten pretty much nothing. This job is such bullshit. Why can’t Peixes do this instead?

Anyway, since this is the first time you’ve been you, do something interesting.

You would visit the mansion and speak to the Captors directly, but what Connie said… she said that the ghosts of the Amporas still lived there. That afforded both you and English a good laugh, especially when she told you two how the ghosts had “driven her out” and everything, so she dared you two to visit the house. She had recently vacated it, and pronounced it to be on sale, so you two went, making fun of her the whole way.

You weren’t making fun of her on the way back.

You got stuff thrown at you, and screamed at, and all sorts of things. You’d think that English would’ve just tried to get rid of the house, to get rid of the ghosts, but that could have all sorts of unwanted consequences. Like what if it didn’t destroy the ghosts, but they escaped and went off into the world, telling all sorts of stories? Or if people got suspicious of why anybody was destroying the mansion for reasons other than that people died there.

Yeah, so getting rid of the mansion would be a bad idea, period. Plus it’s a really nice house, with a nice design and layout.

Back to the point… you’re researching the Captors and anything that turns up you report to your boss, although nothing particularly interesting has come up. You’re not even sure why you’re supposed to be researching them. As long as they don’t know about the Amporas, and they shouldn’t because all records of anything concerning that were destroyed, they shouldn’t be any trouble, right?

But it’s “extremely important”, according to your boss. Ugh. You close all the windows you have open and exit your office, looking for the Mayor among all the different rooms in the Town Hall. There’s so many damn rooms, and multiple floors, so there are so many stairs, man.

I told you about the stairs, bro.

Anyway, you find English in his office (where else would he be???) and go up to his desk, dumping a very small stack of papers on his desk. “This is all I could find on the family. They’re really boring.”

He just glowers at you before snapping, “I don’t care if they’re boring, I wanted everything about them. Thank you for getting me the information, but it is up to me to decide what to do with it. You can leave now, and go back to doing the other work I wanted you to do before I prioritized this.”

“Yes, sir,” you grumble before leaving to navigate all the fucking stairs, back down to your own office on the 2nd floor. Seriously, why isn’t there an elevator in this building?

And so you leave Mayor English with any and all information regarding the Captor family, for him to deal with them as he pleases… though, him being- well, him, that could mean anything, from talking them into moving to… “dealing” with them.

No matter what he does, you hope this whole matter is dealt with soon, because you’re so done with dealing with this case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be honest, when I first started writing from Jack's perspective, I accidentally wrote as Spades Slick. Oops. I fixed that though, so yeah! I'll work on the next chapter as soon as I finish watching Death Note on Netflix. 37 episodes. Wow.


	12. Who Even Keeps Diaries Anymore? (Eridan Does, But Shhh)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The content of the journal is revealed, and Eridan and Cronus have a good bro-talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gladly it wasn't such a long hiatus between chapters this time, but this one is shorter. Sad. But it's over 1,000 words, and yes, I do have a weird OCD when it comes to how many words the chapters are and I'm done rambling now. Enjoy this chapter!

Your name is Eridan Ampora once more, and you really want to smack the lispy fucker in the computer chair (hint: it’s Sollux) but you won’t because he said something interesting for once.

“Wwhy the fuck wwould anybody keep a fuckin’ diary or some shit?” you ask, trying to look as disgusted as possible.

“Didn’t you used to havwe a diary, Eri’?” Cronus asks, smirking, and you smack him.

Sollux turns to the both of you with an annoyed look on his face and says, “Look, normally it’d be great to invethtigate thith “diary” ED thuppothedly hath, but I’m trying to read thith bullshit, tho could you two not?”

After that you both shut up.

Sollux reads the journal entries out loud, but since it would be a pain in the ass to write his lisp into them, you read over his shoulder and try to stay the same pace as the pace he’s reading at.

_August 30 th_

_Today is the first day I’ll start writing in this journal, order of the boss. Complete bullshit. I have to keep tabs on the Amporas, although the two sons aren’t who we’re after, so I’m not sure why I have to keep an eye on them. It’s the father that’s really interesting, anyway._

“Wwhat the fuck is this…?” you mumble to yourself, and Sollux smacks you on the arm. You turn to punch him in the face, because by _god_ he’s annoying, but Cronus easily separates you too.

“Can I not have any interruptionth? I know it’th weird, but theriouthly,” Sollux snaps. You become the bigger person and ignore him, going back to reading over his shoulder.

_It’s the father that’s really interesting, anyway. Why would some super rich guy move his family out here? He lived in New York originally, but he moved here with his two sons after getting people to build the mansion according exactly to his plans. He wasn’t retiring, no- he just came here to get away from the business of New York. He still runs his business, just from his mansion. There’s nothing really interesting about them, I’m not sure why I have to- fuck it. Apparently the boss has some beef with Orpheus Ampora, so I have to keep an eye on them._

_September 7 th_

_Something is happening. The boss is getting more and more antsy about the Amporas- they seem to have… taken over the town, I guess? They’re extremely popular- well, at least the father is. I’ve heard stories about the sons. It seems they’re not so popular in school. I haven’t met with them, but people tell me they’re real assholes. I wouldn’t doubt it. The father is extremely popular with all the townspeople, pretty much everybody. People are even saying that he’s more popular than the mayor. He’s probably not so happy about that. But everybody loves the eldest Ampora._

_September 15 th_

_The boss has decided what he wants to do with the Amporas. It’s dirty, and he knows that, but he has to get rid of them. They’re a potential threat to this town. The boss had them under his thumb, but they came and fucked everything up. Of course, I have to clean up after him, but it’s fine if I’m doing this for a raise. I’d better get a raise. Anyway, the boss says he’s going to deal with them soon. I’m not sure how he plans to do it yet, but I suppose I’ll find out._

_September 20 th_

_The boss says we’re going to do it in a week. I’m ready to do whatever it is he wants me to do._

_September 24 th_

_The boss has been making preparations._

_September 25 th_

_We’re going to kill them all in 2 days. I hope there’s not much mess to clean up afterwards._

_September 26 th_

_September 30 th_

_It’s done._

“Holy fuckin’ shit,” you breathe out, and ignore the glare Sollux is sending you.

_It’s done. It was easy enough. The boss, C, and I went in easily enough- Ampora even invited us in. Ha! It’s amazing how stupid some people are. After we went in, the two sons greeted us, albeit coldly. They both looked like impertinent little snots. Anyway, they sat us down for some tea and we made small chat. Then C asked to go to the bathroom, and left to take care of the younger one. Once she came back, I left to take care of the older one. Once those two were dead, the boss easily took care of Orpheus. When that was done, we hid the bodies, and told people that they had disappeared, although I’m sure those fucking peasants spread rumors of their own. Nonetheless, C and I got to take care of everything afterwards. I think I’m finished with this stupid journal now; I don’t need it anymore. But I’ll send it to the boss, then delete it off mine._

And that’s where it ended.

You three stand there in shock over what you just read. How could some asshole be so… nonchalant over your death?

You don’t realize you’re shaking with rage until Sollux lays a hand on your shoulder, and you calm down, closing your eyes and putting your head down.

“I can’t believwe this,” Cronus mutters, taking his cigarette out and leaning against the desk.

“Neither can we,” a voice comes from outside the door, and the other 3 members of the household step inside.

“Are you tellin’ me you guys wwere outside the whole fuckin’ time?” you growl, turning to glare at them.

“Don’t worry, son, it’s alright. This… journal was important, and it’s better to hear it quoted directly then messed up by a teenager,” your father replies.

Sollux flushes and snaps, “I could’ve quoted it jutht fine on my own!”

“I wasn’t talking about you, I was talking about my own son,” he replies, looking down his nose at you. Ouch.

“Wwhatevver,” you grumble and turn back towards the computer.

“Thith ith a huge breakthrough! Shouldn’t you guyth be more excited?!” Mituna asks, obviously excited himself.

“So that’s how vwe died, huh,” Cronus mutters. You hadn’t noticed until now, but he’s been keeping to himself all of this time. It’s unlike him.

“It didn’t thpethifically thay how you guyth died, or where they hid the bodieth,” Sollux notes, frowning.

“So basically we have no clues,” Simon says glumly.

“I could alwayth break in deeper, but I’m pretty sure thith ith the only record they have of it,” Sollux says, turning around to face everyone.

“Then there’s no point in that, is there?” Orpheus says, sighing, then he adds, “I can keep an eye on the Mayor and his 2 assistants in case we can get more information from them. You 5 stay here. Sollux, see if you can find anything else. Eridan, keep him company. Cronus and Mituna, help them if you can. Simon… um, do whatever you can.” He “um”ed. How cute.

Then you realize he asked you to keep Sollux company.

“Wwait, I havve to stay wwith this asshole?” you exclaim, pointing at Sollux.

“I’m not happy about it either, but thuck it up, fishdick,” Sollux snaps, slapping your hand away from him.

“You two cats really need to vwork out your sexual tension,” Cronus laughs before leaving the room.

You don’t even bother to correct him and instead  sigh and slump down on the bed. Mituna follows Cronus out, and Orpheus and Simon soon leave as well. Which means you’re alone with Sollux.

But he’s just going to be hacking the system for a few hours, so instead you start cleaning up the room. The empty chip bags and fucking energy drinks are still everywhere, so you go downstairs to find the garbage bags, which is an experience all on its own.

“Did he kick you out again?” Cronus smirks at you from the couch in the living room, unfortunately visible from the kitchen.

“No, in fact he fuckin’ didn’t. I’m cleanin’ up his room,” you snap, quickly finding the garbage bags (under the kitchen sink) and attempting to leave.

“Not so fast, chief! It’s been a vwhile. Vwe should catch up!” he grins as he grabs you and pulls you to the couch, sitting down next to you.

“No wwe really shouldn’t,” you roll your eyes, but don’t attempt to leave again because you know he’ll just keep bugging you.

“So. I see you got your eyes set on a certain nice-lookin’ piece a meat, huh?” he smirks at you.

“He ain’t a piece a meat,” you growl- well, fuck. It’s okay, he totally caught you staring at Sollux’s ass earlier, he knows you like him already.

“Vwhatevwer he is, I know you got your sights set on him. How’s that goin’?” he asks, nudging you.

You grumble, then sigh and answer, “Not vvery wwell. He keeps hangin’ out wwith that Aradia chick, an’ I fuckin’ knoww he likes her an’… yeah.”

“Don’t vworry, lil’ bro.  It’ll all vwork itself out in the end, I promise,” he smiles as he ruffles your hair.

“But wwhat if it wworks out wwith him getting’ together wwith… her?” you groan, putting your face in your hands.

“It’ll be fine,” Cronus says, pulling you in for a hug. You flail at first, but begrudgingly accept it.

“Wwell, I havve to go noww. Cleanin’ up Sol’s pigsty a a room,” you complain, but you know it was your decision in the first place.

“Havwe fun!” Cronus snickers, and you roll your eyes before leaving and going back up to Sollux’s room.

It hasn’t changed since you were here last. There is still garbage everywhere, and Sollux is still in front of his computer. And he’s still ignoring you while he hacks. Fine then.

You pick up all the chip bags and put them into one bag, then put the energy drink cans in a different bag. If Sollux notices you cleaning up (pretty much impossible), he doesn’t say anything.

Once the room is clean, you put the full bags in the kitchen and leave them there for someone else to take care of them. You’re not THAT nice.

When you get back, Sollux is still on his computer, so you lie down on the bed and close your eyes. Hopefully, whatever happens between you and Sollux will be good and you both can be happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, Eridan's jealous and lovesick. Amazing. Don't worry, this fic will have a happy ending, I promise. I'm not sure when I'm going to get out the next chapter, but the date on that can be: eventually. Thank you all! (: Also, I've discovered you can change the date this chapter is published... meaning you can maybe post chapter 12 before chapter 11. Who knows? I'll just have to try it out sometime.


	13. Orpheus The Explorer, And Even More Sexual Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Orpheus goes exploring, Sollux talks to his best friend and Cronus scores.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! It's been almost a week, wow. The plot is definitely picking up! I don't believe the pesterlog colors will work, but whatever, it's cool. Enjoy this chapter!

Your name is Orpheus Ampora, and you’ve decided to investigate the Mayor since nobody else can, except maybe your sons but you want to do this alone. Over the past years when you were dead, you 3 had no reason to do anything about your deaths. You were dead, and that was that, right? You couldn’t change it, no matter what, but you could always float around and scare the shit out of people. That was always fun.

So you three got used to being dead and not doing anything to find out who your murderers were and catch them- which, in retrospect, wasn’t that good of an idea. You guess you should’ve been working on it, but you never thought it would work. Like how could you find your killers? You had no resources, no clues. It seemed impossible.

Until the Captors moved in.

They were a blessing to the household, really. They got you, Cronus, and Eridan off your asses and out to do work. Which is what you should’ve been doing. Whatever.

Nonetheless, here you are, ghosting around in the Town Hall, trying to find the Mayor’s office. It really shouldn’t be this hard, shouldn’t they have signs or something? Ah- you enter a random room, honestly just hoping it’s the Mayor’s at this point.

It’s not.

You sigh in defeat and are about to leave when suddenly someone comes through the door, grumbling to himself.

He’s shorter than you, maybe in the 5 feet range, and his left arm is in a sling. He looks grumpy, with a scar over his left eye and a scowl on his face. His hair is a dark black, and you read his name on the desk- Jack Noir. Huh. Isn’t that Mayor English’s right-hand man? Well, he’s definitely not his left-hand man. Heh. You refrain from laughing at your own joke, which was hilarious fuck you, and instead stand there and watch what he does.

He sits down at his desk, still grumbling- you can’t even understand him- and turns on his computer. You move to look over his shoulder, wondering what he could be doing. But what he opens is just a bunch of Mayor-y stuff, like keeping track of citizens and stuff. Whatever it is is of no interest to you, considering you’re after info on your murder.

You exit the room and think while you’re wandering. In the journal, there were 3 people- the “boss”, C, and the writer. You suppose C could be… Connie. Heh, you remember her. She tried to move in, along with her younger sister, some time ago… she was a cruel person. You remember you had fun driving her out.

Nonetheless, could it be? Then the “boss” could be the mayor, and the author… the author would be Noir.

Holy shit.

You freeze where you are, in the middle of the hallway. Stunning revelation aside, there’s a woman standing a few feet in front of you.

She’s as tall as you, and Asian, her hair tied back with two long pieces on either side of her head. She’s wearing a green dress, and she’s stopped as well, with a poker face, but her eyes are trained directly on you. You hesitantly move to the right, attempting to go past her. Her eyes follow you. Creepy.

You try to keep walking past her, and nearly jumping out of your ghostly skin when one of her pale hands latches onto your arm. And you can’t move.

You can’t help but think this is strange. Technically, you’re in full ghost form, so she shouldn’t be able to see you, never mind touch you. But that’s what she’s doing. She sees you, definitely, and she won’t let you move with the grip she has on your arm.

You struggle, trying to make a break for it, but she knocks your feet out from under you and drags you down the hallway, going somewhere. You keep struggling, scratching at her hand and trying to regain purchase on the floor with your feet, but it’s no use.

Then, just as she’s turning a corner, you hit your head on the leg of a table and all you can remember is still being dragged before blacking out.

\----------

Your name is Sollux Captor and once again, you’re so done with Eridan.

You’ve been working for a long time, coding and hacking and coding more. But throughout that all that time, fucking _Eridan_ has been fucking around on the bed, sighing to himself and going through your stuff and cleaning up your empty chip bags and it’s _fucking annoying._

You’re ready to punch him in the face.

But you won’t.

Instead you try to concentrate on hacking into computers, but you’ve gone through all the computers in the building, and there’s nothing else on the murder of the Amporas in any of them. You could hack your way through all the computers  in the town, but that would take too long and you still have school to deal with, although nothing interesting has happened there.

So you really can’t do anything else, unless you have a week off school anytime soon, and could go on a coding binge like you are known to do. But you know that would lead to Eridan bugging you, because he can’t go without attention for at least 5 minutes. Even though you’ve been ignoring him for at least… wow, it’s been 8 hours. Amazing.

Well, he has been leaving the room a lot, so you assume he’s been talking to Cronus or Mituna.

You shake your head of these thoughts, when suddenly Aradia messages you on Pesterchum.

\--  apocalypseArisen [AA] began pestering twinArmageddons [TA] at 11:37 --

AA: hey s0llux!

TA: hey aa.

TA: what2 up?

AA: n0thing 0-0

AA: just that

AA: maybe I have a b0yfriend now

TA: that2 great!

TA: iim happy for you, aa.

AA: thank y0u sollux 0u0

AA: n0 that face looks stupid

TA: you 2ay that every tiime, aa.

TA: and every tiime you cant fiind a good face.

AA: i kn0w

TA: 2o who2 the lucky man?

AA: equius 0u0

TA: 2hiit. really?

AA: yes 0u0

TA: aww, that2 cute.

TA: how diid iit happen?

AA: well ive liked him f0r a while n0w

AA: and he asked me 0ut the 0ther day

AA: 0ut t0 dinner that is

AA: s0 i said yes 0u0

TA: i 2ee you’ve giiven up on the face, then.

TA: and congrat2

AA: thank y0u, s0llux!! and yes, ive accepted this face.

AA: i have t0 g0 n0w and get ready for my date

TA: have fun, aa.

AA: thanks! bye 0u0

TA: bye, aa.

\--  apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased pestering twinArmageddons [TA] at 11:50 --

You sit back and grin. You’ve seen this coming for a while now, and you’re honestly happy for her. She’s such a good friend to you, and… well, Equius told you he likes Aradia, since you and Aradia are obviously close, and you told him to go for it- you’ve known she likes him for a while now too.

You did your best to act surprised when she told you Equius could be her boyfriend. And it seems to have passed as surprised enough, so yay.

You look around for Eridan, but he’s gone again. Ugh. You wish he’d stay in one place; he’s distracting you.

Nonetheless, you quickly crack your knuckles and get back to work, hacking anybody who might have a connection with the murder in the town. You access the town records easily. Perfect.

Time to get to work.

\-------

Your name is now Cronus Ampora, and you’re talking with your younger brother, Eridan. He’s still complaining about his love life. Yay.

He’s been unlucky in his love life in the past, of course. In actual life, he’s never been with anyone, mostly because people couldn’t stand him. He must’ve come off as haughty and smug, using big words to demean people and verbally spitting on “peasants”. It’s no wonder nobody wanted to be with him.

Then there was Feferi. She and her older sister moved in shortly after you died, and Eridan might’ve actually had something with her- that is, if he weren’t dead and you hadn’t driven her out. You still feel kind of bad. You suspect your father does not.

Then there was another one… Vriska, her name was. She and him had a great rivalry going on. They didn’t hate each other, no, but you know for a fact that they did make out a lot. Ew. Seriously, you could hear them yelling at each other from rooms away, and then there was a silence, and you and your father both knew what was going on. That’s probably why you drove Vriska and her older sister out, too,

And now he’s complaining about Sollux.

You know there’s some definite sexual tension between those two. Everybody can see it except them. They act like they hate each other, but you know they don’t. They just have unresolved sexual tension.

You’ve told Eridan before that they just need to fuck it out, and he didn’t talk to you for a few hours after that. He doesn’t want to acknowledge it.

“Look lil’ bro, I’m tellin’ you, you need to fuck it out,” you try again, shrugging your shoulders.

“I ain’t gonna just ‘fuck it out’ or wwhatevver. He’s a pain in my ass an’ he knowws it. There’s no sexual tension!” he yells at you, scowling, then he leaves again.

You sigh. He can complain about Sollux being a pain in the ass, but really, he can be just as big a pain in the ass as Sollux.

You move from the living room couch to Mituna’s room, remembering you were supposed to hang out with him, orders from your father. And ‘do anything you can to help’.

Which means wait by as he takes care of everything.

It always does.

Anyway, you sit down on Mituna’s bed, next to him. He’s playing a game or something.

“Vwhat’s up, chief? Vwhatchya playin’?” you ask, looking over his shoulder.

“A game,” he mumbles back, obviously only half-paying attention to you. As usual.

“C’mon, chief. Talk to me. I hardly evwer get to havwe an actual conversation vwith you!” you say, nudging him.

He sighs and saves his game, then puts it down and replies, “What ith there to talk about?”

“I dunno. How’s school goin’ for you, I guess?”

“It’th going great, actually! I have a bunch of new friendth, and my betht friend ith Latula! She’th totally rad, and-“

He goes on to tell you about this “Latula”. She’s rad, and likes skateboards, and plays video games… Heh, you think he might like her.

You’re not sure how you feel about that.

Mituna’s cute, yeah, but you’re a ghost. You shouldn’t go liking the living. No, it’s fine if he gets a girlfriend. You’ll be happy for the living couple. Yeah, you don’t like him in that way at all.

“-and she’th got thith boyfriend named Kankri, he’th really talkative-“

Shit, never mind, here come the feelings. Wow.

So she has a boyfriend. A whole world of opportunities opens up suddenly, and you fall face-first into them.

“So, do you vwanna go out to dinner sometime?” you interrupt him in the middle of his sentence.

He stops talking and looks over at you, his expression a mix between offended (probably because you interrupted him) and confusion (probably because you asked him out).

“Jutht uth two?” he asks, and you nod. He puts his head on his hand and asks, “Where would we go? And do ghothtth even eat?”

“Someplace in town, I’d find a place. An’ a’ course vwe do, it just kinda… disappears, you know vwhat I mean?” you ask, gesturing vaguely with your hands.

“No.”

“Vwell… it’s kinda like… vwe don’t really digest it, it just… disappears. I don’t get it either, don’t vworry, babe.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Sorry, b- chief. So, is that a yes?”

He sighs and thinks for a moment, then nods and says, “Yeah, okay. Just let me know a time and date and I’ll be ready to go.”

You grin and reply, “Great! How about tomorrow at 6?”

“That thoundth great,” he says, smiling, then picks up his game again and continues playing. You take that as your cue to leave.

Once you’re outside, you fist-pump the air and then go downstairs to find Eridan. Time to talk more about relationships, but _your_ possible relationship this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a head's up, the Asian woman was in fact The Handmaid. I bet none of you saw that coming, did you? Nope. And heh, Eridan still thinks Sollux has a thing with Aradia. *laughs for 10 years* Oh, and thank you all for the comments and kudos and bookmarks and everything! They make my little writer self very happy. (:


	14. Brotherly Talks, Interrogation and Awkward Dates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan and Cronus have more relationship talks, we get to meet- truly meet- a new character, and Cronus and Mituna go on their date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is so late, guys. Man. I was busy with GISHWHES and preparing for school and plans with friends and a bunch of other stuff, and also I had major writer's block so I did my best to write this chapter. It's a bit longer, yay. Have this chapter. Enjoy! EDIT: Now with art from the biffle HERE: http://obscurelytainted.tumblr.com/post/102856853869/dorky-nerd-with-a-cute-ghosty-boyfriend-this-is ! Woo! :D

Your name is Eridan Ampora and your brother’s bragging about his love life, as usual. He said he’s scored with Mituna, which you’re a bit surprised with. Mituna? And Cronus? Man, why would Mituna go with him on a date? In your opinion, he’s just a scumbag. Though maybe Mituna sees him differently. You don’t know.

Nonetheless, it’s kind of pissing you off. I mean, yeah, you complain to him about Sollux all the time, but still. Speaking of Sollux…

You were in his room earlier, but he couldn’t see you. You were invisible; a ghost, heh. And he was talking with Aradia. You didn’t want to look at their conversation- they were probably just flirting with each other. Ugh.

 … Maybe you’re a little jealous.

Yeah, okay, you’re a lot jealous. Your brother “scored” and you didn’t? Wow.

“-so I’m pretty fuckin’ excited, an’ hopefully aftervwards vwe can go back to his room an’-“

Yeah, you’re done listening to him go on about Mituna. You cut him off, “Look, Cro, not that your sex life ain’t fascinatin’ an’ all, but there’s some things a guy shouldn’t knoww. I’m goin’ to help Sol wwith stuff, okay?” And you leave. He’s unfazed by your rudeness and goes off somewhere to plan for tonight, probably. You just go upstairs to visit Sollux’s room.

As usual, he’s at his computer and typing away. When you look over his shoulder, all you see is a bunch of numbers and wow he just hit you in the face, ow. You grumble and go over to the bed after hearing a mumbled, “Don’t look over my shoulder. It’th annoying.”

Sollux isn’t any interesting when he’s busy coding.

Maybe you can get his attention.

“Hey Sol.”

“Sooooool. Come on, Sol.”

Ugh, how is he so deaf to you and your needs?

“Cro and your brother are goin’ on a date.”

“Wait what the fuck?” he says as he turns to face you, his expression incredulous. Fuckin’  finally.

“You heard me.”

“Your douchebag older brother… ith going on a date with… Tuna?”

“That’s exactly wwhat I wwas thinkin’. Howw the fuck did this happen?”

“…”

“Sol?”

Great, now he’s unresponsive. He’s sitting there, turned towards you but his head is hanging low so you can’t see his eyes- his hair is in his face.

“Um. Sol?”

“Why… the fuck…”

Oh shit, he’s twitching now and he sounds _really pissed._ Shit. “Sol, are you okay?”

“With… with him?!-“

“Sol…”

“He would never-“

“Sol, you need to calm down-“

“He WOULDN’T-“

“Sol!”

He stands up and now you can see the expression on his face and oh dear god you wish you couldn’t. He looks furious, a scowl on his face and a glare that could probably kill some small animals.

“Uh… Sol? You feelin’ okay there?”

“Shut the fuck up,” he growls, and you shrink against the wall on the other side of the bed because why is he getting so pissed over his brother going on a date with your brother, wow, but it’s still scary.

Your shrinking against the wall thing did nothing, as he crawls onto the bed and pins you against the wall, but not in the fun way. He looked furious before, but now that he’s near your face you can actually see on a specific level how fucking pissed he is.

You try and salvage the situation, “Look Sol, I’m sure it ain’t that bad- I mean Cro ain’t too terrible a’ a guy, wwell most a the time anywways, an’ it’ll be fine-“

He punches you, your rambling pissing him off enough that his fist clips the side of your head and all you see is him leaving before you black out on the bed. The last thing you think is, how the fuck did he manage to knock you out?

\----------

Your name is Orpheus Ampora, and you just woke up, tied to a strange chair, in a strange room, with a strange woman standing in front of you.

You’ve been in weirder situations.

You try to stretch the best you can, seeing as you’re tied to a chair and all, but you can barely move, so you sit there uncomfortably.

Instead you look around at your surroundings, taking it all in. It’s a plain, dark room, with a lone lightbulb above your head that’s turned on, and a table off to your right with a notepad and a pen on it. The door, which you presume to be the exit, is on your left, but other than the chair you’re sitting on and the table to your right there’s no other furniture in the room.

“So. What am I being interrogated for?” you ask smoothly, raising an eyebrow at the Asian women standing in front of you.

“I ask the questions here,” she replies quietly, with an Asian accent. You’re surprised she didn’t snap at you. You’d snap at you.

“And what questions are those?”

You feel the sting on your cheek and the whiplash before you realize she moved, slapping you across the face.

“I told you I’m asking the questions,” she repeats quietly, then says, “Are your Orpheus Ampora?”

You hesitate. Who knows who she works for? Or who she is?

You wisely answer, “… Nope.”

She frowns at you, the first facial expression she’s made since you first saw her. “You’re not Orpheus Ampora?”

“Definitely not.”

“Are you sure?”

“One hundred percent.”

“What’s your name then?”

“… Not Orpheus Ampora.”

She slaps you again, on the other cheek this time, and repeats, “What’s your name?”

“Ow, fuck,” you mumble, then add, “John Smith.”

“John Smith?”

“Yep.”

This woman slaps you once more, on the same side of your face, and you yelp. “Can you stop fuckin’ slappin’ me?” Wow there’s your accent. It tends to come out when you get angry.

“I will stop once you answer my question honestly. Are you or are you not Orpheus Ampora?”

Once again, you weigh the pros and cons of the situation… and decide that getting slapped again would not be a plus for you. “Yeah, I am, but you probably knew that already.”

You get slapped anyway. “Don’t assume things. Now, why are you here?”

“Because you dragged me here.” Your attempt at being sassy gets you slapped again, and you think your face is completely red with slap-marks now.

“Answer the fucking question,” she snaps, and she looks angry now.

“You mean why I was I in the building?”

“Yes.”

“Well, you’re gonna have to answer some of my questions first.”

“I don’t need to answer any of your questions.”

“How could you see me?”

She ignores you, just glaring at you coldly.

You sigh and ask again, “I was a ghost, and I was invisible. How did you see me?” As you’re speaking, you experimentally tug on the rope binding you. Even if you turn invisible- and somehow you turned not invisible while out of it, so humans can see you now and you can touch things- who knows if you can get away fast enough? Because she can see you when you’re invisible, you probably wouldn’t been able to get away fast enough.

You try turning your wrists, behind the chair you’re tied to, invisible, but for some reason you can’t get out of the rope. You try not to frown as you tug a bit harder, but to no avail. Unless one of your sons comes to find you, you’re screwed.

Meanwhile, the Asian woman has been staring at you with increasingly unnerving eyes. And she hasn’t said a word the entire time you’ve been thinking. That’s… really creepy.

“Well?” you ask, starting to get irritated.

She sighs and responds, “I’m not telling you anything about me. Just tell me why you’re here, or I’ll just knock you out again and again and again until you tell me.”

“I was creeping around to assassinate the Mayor,” you say sarcastically, but it seems she takes you seriously and frowns, going over to the nearby table and writing something down on the notepad. Well, you guess that’s your excuse now. Apparently Ms. Asian Woman doesn’t understand sarcasm.

“So,” you start conversationally, “Are you ever going to tell me how you can see me, even when I’m a ghost? You know I’m a ghost by now.”

“I’m a psychic!” she whirls around to glare at you, throwing her hands up. “I can see ghosts and other beings across the spectrum, even if other humans can’t see them, okay?”

You sit there, floored for a moment. You never suspected beings like that actually existed. You’ve heard of psychics, of course, but you thought they were bullshit. Just old ladies who wanted to make a little money being a “fortune-teller” at fairs, or made-up stuff like that. You didn’t think they actually existed.

“A psychic, huh?” you ask, raising an eyebrow,

“Yeah. I didn’t want to tell you but you were getting annoying,” she replies, scowling and moving back in front of you.

“Oh, thanks,” you mumble sarcastically, but she doesn’t seem to hear you.

“So, why were you going to assassinate the Mayor?” she asks you then, crossing her arms.

Shit, now you have to think up something. “I was, uh… getting… revenge.”

“For what?”

“For… stealing my money. Yeah. He stole money from my bank account.”

“Right,” she says, writing something else down in the notebook.

“Is that all, or can I go now?” you ask, tugging at your bonds.

“No, we’re keeping you for further investigation. And don’t even bother trying to get out of that rope- it’s ghost-proof. I made it myself,” she adds smugly, and with that, leaves.

Looks like you’re stuck here until they let you go. And they think you’re here to assassinate Mayor English. Great.

\------

Your name is now Mituna Captor, and you’re going on a date with Cronus in a few minutes. You took the time to get ready- you didn’t want to dress up too fancy, no. But you’re wearing a nice red and blue button up under a black sweater, and you’re wearing nice jeans, so it’s fancy enough.

You have no idea where he’s taking you, but hopefully it’s someplace you’ll like. Sure it’ll be weird having dinner with a ghost, especially since he’s got his weird “I don’t digest food it disappears” thing or whatever, but it’ll probably be fine. Then again, what if somebody recognizes him?

What if somebody _does_ recognize him?

What will you do then?

Probably make a run for it, you tell yourself as you shrug. Besides, not many people would want to approach him anyway, heh.

You adjust your sweater and hear a knock on your door, so you go to open it. It’s Cronus.

“Ready to go?” he asks, moving to the side and holding out a hand.

You flush but take his hand, smiling discreetly and mumbling, “Yeah.”

He pulls you downstairs and out the door, just holding your hand as you two walk down the driveway path towards town.

Neither of you say anything, and you can feel the awkward tension building. One of you has to say something soon or you’ll flip out.

“So there’s this restaurant I vwas thinkin’ of- it’s the one vwe passed back on that day vwe all vwent out to explore the town, the small cute one vwith the ovwerhang ovwer the outside space,” Cronus suggests, turning his head towards you.

Oh thank god, you thought you were gonna have to be the one to start a conversation. “Wath that the one with all the plantth outthide?”

“Yeah, that’s the one, ba- chief,” he trips over his words, trying not to call you babe- just like you asked him not to. How nice.

“I’d be okay with that,” you reply, and then the two of you go back to silence. It’s a bit less awkward, but you still feel weird walking around with your hand in his, so you take your hand back and let it swing by your side along with your other hand. If Cronus noticed, he didn’t say anything.

By the time you two get there, the tension has gotten thick again and you want to get this awkward date over as soon as possible.

You tell the waiter you want a table for two, and he seats you and Cronus inside, then gives you menus. Ah, he sat you two in a secluded corner. Great.

“Tho… why did you athk me out on a date?” you ask, raising an eyebrow. You figure you deserve answers, and also you want to make sure he’s not just doing this out of desperation or to make fun of you.

“I like you, chief. You’re cute, funny, an’ you havwe a good personality. Honestly I dunno vwhy all the chicks at your school aren’t hangin’ all ovwer ya,” he says, shrugging.

You flush again and look down, sufficiently embarrassed. “Well… I don’t have chickth hanging all over me, tho… yeah. It’th fine, though, I mean my betht friend, Tula, hath a boyfriend already, otherwithe I might’ve athked her out.”

“Oh. Vwell that’s alright, chief,” he smiles, then takes a look at his menu. “Hm. Vwhat type a’ food are you gettin’? I’m thinkin’ a burger or somethin’ like that…”

You look at your own menu and skim it, wondering what you could be in the mood for. “Um, I wath thinking… a thandwich, or thomething like that, I dunno,” you answer, looking at the sandwiches.

And then things become awkward again while you decide what you want for dinner. This is probably one of the most awkward dates you’ve been on ever.

After the waiter comes, you both order drinks and food and the waiter leaves, you turn to Cronus and ask, “So, what’th it like being a ghotht?”

He raises an eyebrow and replies, “Vwell, vwhat parts do you vwanna know, doll?”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Sorry, Mit.”

“… That’th okay. Tho, ghothtth… do you guyth have to go to the bathroom?”

“Uh, no.”

“But you can eat?”

“… Yeah?”

“Where doeth the food go?”

“I told ya, it just… disappears.”

“Can you thleep at all?”

“No, I can’t. Neither can Eri or father. I think it’s a ghost thin’.”

“What do you do for fun, then?”

“Bug the shit outta humans. Vwhat else is there to do?”

“That’th nice. Ith it normal for ghothtth and humanth to go on dinner dateth together?”

“Uh, no. That’s not somethin’… most ghosts normally do, considerin’ vwe’re dead an’ vwouldn’t havwe much chance vwith a human who knows vwe’re ghosts anyvway. An’ vwe vwouldn’t havwe much a’ a future vwith a human, either.”

“Then why did you want to go on a date with me, if ghothtth “don’t have a future” with humanth?”

“Oh, I’m sure once this whole “who murdered the Amporas” thin’ is ovwer, vwe can hang out more, get to know each other a little better, Mit.”

“But if we do end up together, it won’t work out. I’ll grow old while you stay 18 or however old you are, and I’ll be like 60 and it would be weird. Bethideth, after I die, I probably won’t be thticking around in the mansion. I might be moving on, to whatever ith after life. Altho, if we tholve your murder, then you might move on and I’ll be thtuck here for 60 more yearth, until I die. What made you think thith date wath a good idea?” you finish, leaning back and crossing your arms.

Cronus sighs, looking down at his lap, then back up at you. “Look, Mituna… I really do like you. A lot. An’ really, no matter vwhat happens to us, if vwe do end up together or not, I hope it’s good. I’d like us to be together, but me bein’ a ghost an’ all could be a bit a’ an obstacle, but I’m not goin’ to let that stop me, okay? Also, a’ all those scenarios you just described, vwe end up together- vwhether as friends or more than that- in all a’ them, don’t vwe?”

He gives you a smile, a genuine one, and you can’t help but smile back, looking down. “Yeah, I gueth tho.”

That’s when your food arrives, and you and Cronus spend the rest of your dinner date in a comfortable silence. You walk home together, and this time when he takes your hand, you don’t pull away.

You think you’ll be happy, together with this douchebag, eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To recap: Sollux is a big dumb-dumb, Orpheus is also a big dumb-dumb, and Cronus and Mituna have big dumb feelings. Again, sorry this took so long, you guys. Hopefully next time I update it won't have been 2 weeks since I updated. Haha I'm dumb good-bye. EDIT: I wanted to know if you guys think I should make this NSFW or not?? I mean I do enjoy the otp doing the frick frack but i dunno. Maybe Eridan and Sollux will fuck their frustrations out and Cronus and Mituna will have nice after dinner date sex. We just don't know.


	15. The Chapter Where Stuff Happens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux chills out a bit probably, and Simon goes everywhere. Everywhere. And no, not sexually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say I'm super sorry for how late this is? Like super sorry D: With school starting and everything- seriously, I have so much homework, why?- and I recently got a cold and yeah, not fun stuff. Also, there is no sex in this chapter. Sorry. Maybe in later chapters, but not this chapter, nope. Well, enjoy, and hopefully the next one won't be so late! Fun fact: I had no idea where I was going with this chapter so when I named it, it was The Chapter Where Stuff Happens. Then I didn't bother changing it.

Your name is now Simon Captor, who you haven’t been for a while. Yeah, that makes sense. You’re currently at home, and you just got back from work. It’s been a long day, what with kids going to school and ghosts in your house and everything. You’re surprised you haven’t flipped your shit yet. Maybe the pressure of work and ghosts and more work will all build up and one day you’ll explode, but until then, you’ll be fine.

You don’t see anybody at home; that’s strange. Eh, whatever. You know Sollux and Eridan are supposed to be hacking, Cronus and Mituna are helping however, and Orpheus… Orpheus went to go check out the town hall a while ago. He left before you left for work. You hope he’s okay.

The house seems weirdly quiet, so you suppose everybody is out doing stuff in town. You go over to the fridge in the kitchen and get out sandwich materials, even though it’s almost dinner time. You’ll live.

Suddenly, Sollux walks in, looking furious. “Where the fuck did they go?” he snaps, and you jump, startled.

“Where did who go?” you ask, raising an eyebrow and pausing your making of your sandwich.

“Cronuth and Tuna,” he spits out, seething.

“Okay Sollux, you need to calm down. I don’t know where they went, and I didn’t even know they were going anywhere,” you say, putting your hands on his arms to try and calm him down.

“They went on a date, Dad!” Sollux says, obviously expecting you to get angry or something with the way he’s looking at you.

“Well, that’s good for them, then. Now calm down and get back to work,” you say as you pat him on the arm, then turn back to your sandwich to finish making it.

“You aren’t upthet?” Sollux asks incredulously.

You laugh and shake your head, “No, I’m not. If Tuna wants to go out with Cronus, then that’s his choice and that’s okay.”

“But Cronuth ith a douchebag!”

“Watch it, Sollux. He’s not, and he and Mituna will be fine. Now stop worrying and go bug Eridan instead,” you say, playfully nudging him and you finish up with your sandwich and start putting the materials away.

When you turn back, he’s still frowning, but looks kinda of guilty.

“What’s wrong?” you ask, raising an eyebrow?

“Nothing,” he mumbles, then leaves the room. You shrug and take your sandwich into the dining room, then eat it, wondering what’s up with Sollux. You were kidding when you told him to go bug Eridan, but he looked guilty for some reason. Maybe something happened between him and Eridan?

You’ll let him figure it out. Once you finish your sandwich, you put your plate away, the wonder what’s taking Orpheus so long. It’s been hours now. Maybe you should go check on him, if it gets to be too long. Maybe in an hour or two, if he’s not back yet, you’ll go to the town hall and check on him.

Meanwhile, you’ll hang out and watch TV or something.

\------------------------------

Your name is Cronus Ampora, and you’re pretty damn happy. You just went on a date with Mituna Captor, the apple of your eye. You don’t completely understand that saying. Maybe the honeybee of your eye, since he likes bees so damn much. You’re overthinking this.

Back to reality. You’re in Mituna’s room now, chilling with him as he plays games on his phone and looking over his shoulder. It’s nice, sitting here with him.

Well, it was nice until Sollux burst in. He seems to be angry, but struggles to contain it as he leans against the doorframe. “Tho. I heard you two went on a date,” he says casually, crossing his arms.

“Yeah, vwe did,” you answer just as Mituna says, “Maybe we did, what’th it to you?”

Sollux sighs and says, “Tuna, you did actually want to go on thith… date with Cronuth, right?”

“Yeah. If I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t have gone, Thollux,” Mituna snorts to your right, having paused his game and now looking up at Sollux.

Then Sollux turns to you, a frown still on his face, “And you won’t do anything he’th not comfortable with, right?”

“For fuck’th thake, Thollux, I’m fine, trutht me! You don’t need to worry about me,” Mituna mumbles, then goes back to his game.

“Oh,” Sollux says, the frown disappearing, then he leaves the room, shutting the door behind him.

You sigh and sneak your arm around Mituna’s shoulders. He notices, and snorts, but doesn’t look up from his game.

You wonder how Eri and Sollux are doing. Hopefully they’re getting work done, unlike you and Mituna. Then you wonder how your father is doing. You don’t think he’s back from the town hall yet, otherwise he’d probably come in and say hi. Eh, you’ll let someone else deal with it. You have a nice cuddle partner under your arm right now, so you’re good.

\--------------------------------

Your name is Orpheus Ampora, and you don’t know how long you’ve been tied to this chair in this room in… the town hall? You’re really not sure where you are. But anyway, you don’t know how long you’ve been here. Could be minutes, hours, days, even years. Well, probably not years.

The Asian lady hasn’t returned since she asked you a bunch of questions. Maybe someone will come and rescue you before she kills you or something. Hopefully she won’t kill you. Maybe Cronus and Eridan or will. Or Simon. You’d prefer Simon. You mean. What. Haha, what?

No, okay, you’re being completely honest with yourself, you would like it if Simon would rescue you. Sollux and Eridan would be too busy to rescue you, and Cronus and Mituna are doing… god knows what. And you know Simon went to work after you left, although he might be back by now? You’re really not sure. You really, _really_ hope he comes to rescue you.

Ahem. Where were you? Right, you were focusing on waiting for someone to come in. You don’t know when you’re going to see anybody next-

Well, speak of the devil. At the moment, the very devil himself walks in.

Mayor English.

Oh, how he’s changed in the years since you’ve met him. He was younger, for one. And when did he start wearing that ridiculous green coat that makes him look like a rich douchebag? Wait, that’s what he is, never mind. He’s bald, and seems to be missing a few teeth, along… with one of his legs. You don’t think that was a thing before. And he still has the greenish tint to his skin- it’s not a really obvious green, but in good lighting he almost looks like he’s sick.

He glares at you as he walks in, using a cane- ha- as a crutch as he hobbles over to you.

“I see you haven’t gotten any older,” he sneers at you, leaning on his cane and looking you right in the eye.

You get right to the point. “How can you see me?” you ask formally. Time to put your business mask back on. This is all purely business stuff.

“That rope my lovely assistant tied you up with is… special rope, I’m sure you’ve noticed. Not only can it keep ghosts at bay, but it makes ghosts show themselves to all humans,” he says, shifting around. Behind him walks in the Asian lady- the one from earlier- carrying a chair, which she puts down behind Mayor English. He sits down in it slowly, then leans the cane against one of the arms.

“I see the years haven’t been treating you well,” you allow yourself a small smirk for a second, then wipe it from your face. Gotta stay professional.

He glares at you again and replies, “Shut up. Let’s get to the point. I hear you’ve come to assassinate me.”

Oh, you’d forgotten about the lie you made up. Wow. Well, you’ve dug this hole, might as well dig it a little deeper.

“Yeah, I did, because I don’t like the way you rule _my_ town,” you snark, leaning back in your chair.

While you were still alive and he was still young, one of the things you two would fight about was the town itself. Well, you two fought about many other things, but who was really in charge of the town was a big issue. He may have been the Mayor, but not a lot of people liked him. Most, if not all, of the town liked you a lot more, and so you two fought about this a lot. You had the favor of the people, he had control over the people. It’s… complicated.

So that might be why he whaps you in the side of the head with his cane. You’d forgotten that pain was a thing- well not really, considering how many times Assistant Lady slapped you- but you let out a yelp that Mayor English looks pretty smug at.

“Why are you coming to assassinate me?” he repeats, staring you down. Well, the best he can from his height, anyway. People say you get shorter as you grow older. That’s true, you can see that now.

“Why not?” you answer, thinking it’d be best to avoid the reasons for now.

He grumbles, glaring at you and saying, “Why. Are. You. Going. To. Assassinate me?”

“Because after all these years as a ghost, I realized my true mission in the afterlife on Earth was to inact my revenge on you for all those years we fought,” you bullshit your way through your answer.

He squints at you. “Are you being sarcastic with me, boy?” he asks.

“You can’t call me boy. I’m a grown man, English. I have kids. Well, had kids. Then we all died,” you grumble, glaring at nothing. How long is this “interview” going to go on, anyway?

\--------------------------------------------

Your name is once again Simon Captor and you’re worried. Seriously worried. It’s been an hour since you promised yourself that in an hour you would go check on Orpheus if he wasn’t back by then, and he isn’t back. Sigh.

You call up into the house, “I’m going out to look for Orpheus, don’t be worried, I’ve got everything under control. Bye!” And like most story clichés, you definitely do not have everything under control.

You quickly pull on a jacket before leaving the house, on your way to the town hall. You have no idea what shit Orpheus has gotten himself into, but it had better be worth the time.

When you get to the town hall, you go in to see a nice-looking lady at the front desk. “Hello, I’m looking for… uh… the town history?” Town halls usually have some little history museum bullshit.

“It’s right down that hall, just follow the signs,” the lady answers, smiling at you and pointing to said hall.

You smile and thank her before walking down the hall, then deciding it would be a good time to wander around until you find the right room. Or until you run into Orpheus, whichever comes first.

There are signs everywhere, pointing you in different directions to the “Town History Museum” or the “Secretary’s Desk” or the “Town Records”- hey wait, that one sounds pretty useful. Well, you’re supposed to be finding Orpheus, but it wouldn’t hurt to peek into the Records while you’re at it. One of your jobs is to find out how they died, although you doubt there would be any papers concerning their death, you could at least see if there are any papers at all on them.

You follow the signs to a dimly lit room, inside which there are too many shelves to count. Like bookcases, but with boxes on them. They seem to be sorted by letter, so you start with A for Ampora.

Ampora, Ampora, Ampora… you look along the A shelf. There doesn’t seem to be anybody else in here, so that’s nice, although you can’t help but feel like you’re being watched- oh hey look, there’s the Am-Az box. You doubt there are any Az’s, but whatever.

You pick it up off the shelf and pull it down, putting it on a nearby table. Now, to find the Amporas. Ah, here we go.

It’s a small file, with a few papers in it, but they’re probably worth reading.

Inside are some birth certificates, one for Cronus and one for Eridan once you read the names. Then, oh what are these…? Divorce papers? You look through them, and they seem to be between Orpheus and some lady you don’t really care about. So that’s what happened to his wife. Checking the birth certificates, you see that she divorced him right after she had Eridan. That’s pretty shitty. You wonder if she even cared that they disappeared. No, she wouldn’t have found out, the town kept it under lock and key. Then again… hm… you go through the rest of the papers, but none of them say anything about the disappearances, or the deaths, although some of them are to buy the plot of ground the mansion is built on, which could be interesting.

All-in-all, this going through the records thing was useless. Great. You probably wasted a good half-hour in here. You sigh and put the files back, then put them back on the shelf. Now you get to wander around some more and get lost.

You walk over to the door and try to open it when you find that it’s… locked?

It wasn’t locked when you got in.

That’s your last thought before something hits you in the side of the head and everything goes dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know how I just love ending chapters with cliff-hangers. So much. What will happen to poor Simon? Haha in one of my last chapters I wrote "Simon says" and I laughed. It was late and I was tired. Simon says. Anyway, who knows when the next chapter will be out, probably in like 2050. Maybe. Also, I have a Tumblr?? I know some fanfic authors do that where they put their tumblr url in the notes, so I changed my url to erisolalldayeveryday for convenience. Yeah, I'm on tumblr. Yay.


	16. The Chapter Where More Stuff Happens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux takes care of Eridan, Simon has fun being captured, and Mituna and Cronus to the rescue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this was so late you guys D: I have no excuses. None. Well, except maybe school. Okay, well, enjoy this chapter, and I once again apologize for the chapter title. I am a lazy baby. Enjoy! (: EDIT: I realize now I messed up the format but I am on mobile so I will fix it later!

Your name is Sollux Captor and you’re feeling pretty bad, which might be an understatement. You maybe overreacted and maybe punched Eridan in the face and then maybe left him on your bed unconscious. Maybe.

So after speaking with people who didn’t seem as upset about it as you, you go back to your room to look for Eridan.

Not that you need to look for him- he’s in the same exact place you left him, on the bed, knocked out cold. On one hand, you feel really bad for knocking him out. On the other, you didn’t even know ghosts could be knocked out.

He isn’t stirring from where he is, so you pick him up and move him onto his back, then put the covers over him. Time to play doctor. And no, not in a sexual way.

You’re sure there’s a first aid kit SOMEWHERE in this stupid bathroom… oh, here it is. Okay. You go back to Eridan and sit down next to him, glaring down. How dare he lie there, unconscious. How dare he.

Anyway, you check to see where you hit him- oh shit, that’s a nasty bruise. How does this even work?? He’s a ghost?? He shouldn’t be bruising or knocked out or anything?? Ugh, whatever.

You grab a cloth and put it on his forehead, because you’ve seen people do that in movies and that looks good. You wonder when he’ll wake up. Will he wake up? Oh my god, what if you killed a ghost? You’d die. Mr. Ampora would kill you, probably, and then kill your ghost. Probably.

Wait, time to stop worrying, he just twitched, he should be okay. Now what do you do? Do you just… wait here until he wakes up? You can go somewhere else, but maybe he won’t wake up for hours.

You think you’ll wait for him.  
\--------------------

Your name is Simon Captor and your head hurts. Well, that’s an understatement. You feel like you got knocked out with an aluminum baseball bat. Which you probably did, actually.

Where are you?

Well, you don’t have a blindfold on, even though you have a gag in, so you can look around you. The room is dark, the walls are stone, and you can’t see any furniture. You’re tied to a chair, and your hands are tied behind it… wait, there’s something against your hands. Is that another pair of hands? Shit, is there a dead body behind you?

Upon further analysis, you figure out that your hands and this stranger’s hands are tied together by the wrists, but this stranger is… alive? You think? The person’s hands seem to be moving around, as if trying to get free, but they’re cold. Like, ice cold. Alright alright alright alright.

You try speaking, but you have a gag in your mouth, so that’s a moot point. Noot noot.

What is with all these memes in your head? You should get that checked.

Anyway, you hear muffled noises from behind you, and assume that it is the other person attempting to communicate. You try to keep your hands away from the other person’s,   
because seriously, it’s not that cold in here.

Suddenly, an old man appears in front of you. And when you say old, you mean he makes Dumbledore look young. He’s also smirking at you, which is kind of creepy.

“Hello there,” he says, and you scowl because you can’t reply, you have a gag in your mouth, what was he expecting out of this? “Oh right, I forgot- you can’t talk,” he smirks. 

What a dickhole. You can angrily grumble through your gag, though.

He calls this lady over and she’s nice enough to take off your gag for you.

“What’s going on?” you growl immediately, glaring at both of them.

“Haven’t you figured it out yet?” the old guy’s smirk widens.

You give a look that says, “Figure it out, asshole. I asked for a reason.”

He rolls his eyes at you, then replies, “Ah, yes. Well, we found out you and your children were snooping around in our old files, weren’t you? You were looking for information on the Ampora murders. Well, there is none, so there. Then we find none but Orpheus Ampora himself walking around in the Town Hall- well, we just couldn’t help it!”

“Couldn’t help what?!” you ask frantically. Fuck, what did they do to Ampora?!

“We captured him, of course. Why, he’s right behind you,” the old guy leers at you.

You freeze. Fuck, has Orpheus been behind you all the time? You tug questioningly at your wrists, the rope bonding you to this unknown person- who you think is Orpheus- and there’s a muffled answer, and whoever it is is also tugging at the rope. So it is Orpheus, okay. Well, they could’ve done worse to him, you suppose, than tie him to you.

“Why can’t you just let us go?” you ask. Now you’re just stalling. If only you two could use your hands to untie the rope… you don’t think that’s how it works? You don’t think wrists can turn that way.

“That was a stupid question and therefore I’m not obligated to answer it,” the old guy answers- wait a second, you think you recognize him… isn’t he that mayor guy? The mayor of the town you live in? Oh, shit.

You just realized how far deep you are in all of this.

Alright then.

“What are you going to do with us?” you try a different tactic.

“Keep you here. We’re not sure yet, no. But maybe we’ll keep you here until you die. Well, you can die, Ampora can… be here forever, I suppose,” he replies flippantly.

A thought strikes you and you ask, “How did you see him anyway? Orpheus, I mean. Wasn’t he invisible?”

“Well, yes, but my lovely assistant here-“ the mayor points to the Asian woman, “-can see even invisible ghosts. It’s a gift.” He smiles.

Well, shit. You’re stuck, tied up in a way you can’t escape from, with some lady able to see Orpheus even if he can turn invisible.

Great.

Wait a second, why can’t Orpheus just escape from the ropes?

“Wait a second, why can’t Orpheus just escape from the ropes?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Again, it’s a special kind of rope. Nobody can escape from it,” he grins, then continues, “Well, that’s enough questions for now. Have fun staying here forever.” He then leaves, hobbling along with the Asian woman behind him, who gives you one last look before she shuts the door.

“So. Wanna escape?” you ask Orpheus, tugging on the ropes. All you get in response is a muffled growl. Oh, you forgot he has a gag in his mouth. Well, that makes planning escape a bit more difficult.

“Shit, okay, so we have to get untied first. How… how…?” you trail off, wriggling in your bonds. You have rope around your chest and legs, and they’re not attached to the rope tying yours and Orpheus’s wrists together. Well, you wanted to be together with Orpheus, but not literally. Wait, what? Why are you thinking that? You can’t catch me, gay thoughts!

Back to your situation. Okay, so after feeling around a bit, you figure out that the rope tying Orpheus’s chest to the chair is tied at the back, so if you twist a bit- by which you   
mean a lot- then you can untie him there, at least. And he can untie you. You don’t know where you’ll go from there, but you’ll figure it out then.

“Okay so if I reach towards you, I can untie the ropes at your chest, then you can feel around and untie me, okay?”

Muffled answer. It’s an ok then.

You reach towards Orpheus, trying to reach around his hands in order to get to the knot on the rope. Well, you wanted to hold his hand, but not like this. Not like this.

With a lot of leaning forward and pushing your hands back, you can finally reach the knot. You’re not sure if you can even get it undone without looking, but you do your best.   
Okay, so it feels kind of like… a bow? You think? You tug on one of the end pieces and sure enough, it comes undone. Huh.

Then you pull at it so it falls off. Boom, easy peasy.

“Okay, so can you reach me now?” you ask, but Orpheus is already pushing towards you. He scoots his chair back a bit- well, that helped lessen the distance, why didn’t you think   
of that- and feels around for the knot. He touches your back multiple times, making you squirm (your back has always been ticklish) but finally he gets the knot and undoes it, leaving your chest free.

“So I have no clue how to get out of-“ you start to say, but he’s already at work, twisting his hands up and around to pick at the rope, and you don’t even know how he’s doing it.   
Ghosts, man.

He gets ahold of the knot and tugs at it, and you try to move your hands out of the way of his. He quickly gets it undone, and the rope falls. Fucking finally.

You immediately reach forward and undo the rope around your feet, then try and stand up.

Ow.

You’ve been sitting for too long.

You turn and face Orpheus, who has undone the rope around his legs as well, and he tugs off his gag, dropping it on the ground with an air of disgust. Your gag is still around your neck, and you take it off, dropping it next to Orpheus’s.

“So how do we get out of here?” you ask, scratching the back of your head.

“Well, I assume they have cameras in here, so we have to hurry and just get out,” he replies, and you nod your head in agreement.

You both walk over to the door and you tug on it, but it won’t open. “Goddammit, it’s locked,” you grumble, turning to Orpheus.

He just rolls his eyes at you. What? Then he- oh. He walks through the door and you hear a jiggling sound, then the door opens, and he’s standing outside. That was not one of your brighter moments.

You step outside and you have no idea where you are. Well, you know it’s a hallway in Town Hall, but all the goddamn hallways look alike and you’re not going to be able to find your way out. Plus, you’re sure that the cameras have already picked you and Orpheus up, and Mayor English is hobbling his way along to get you two.

Fuck.  
\------------------------------------------------------

Your name is Mituna Captor and you’re getting a little worried. You’re still playing your video game, and Cronus has his arm around you, but it’s getting late and you haven’t seen your father at all. You assume he’d at least drop in to check on you, but he hasn’t.

You haven’t seen Orpheus either.

Hmmm.

You sigh and pause your game, then set it down and stretch.

“Vwhat’s up?” Cronus asks you, raising an eyebrow.

“We should probth go look for Dad,” you answer, standing up. He nods and follows you out of your bedroom.

You check your father’s room, knocking first- you never know what your father and Orpheus could be doing-, but neither of them are in there.

You spend the next half-hour just looking through all the rooms, but you can’t find either of them. Maybe they went out to have fun in town? No, they were supposed to be working on the case… wait, wasn’t Orpheus going to the Town Hall to investigate? Did he ever return?

…

Huh.

That’s a problem.

“We need to go to Town Hall,” you say suddenly, tugging on Cronus’s arm towards the door.

“Vwhat? Vwait, vwhat’s going on?” he asks, startled.

“Did your dad ever come back from the thing at Town Hall?” you ask him, still tugging.

He thinks for a moment, then his eyes widen, and he gives in to your persistent tugging, following you out the door.

You probably would’ve run all the way to town if Cronus hadn’t stopped you. On the way there he took your hand and tugged you back as you tugged him forward, slowing you down. You took the message and walked his pace instead, your arms swinging and your hand still linked in his.

When you get to the Town Hall, you ask Cronus, “How do we approach thith? We can’t jutht walk in and-“

He’s already walking inside, and you hurry to follow him as he steps up to the counter and flashes a grin at the lady at the counter. “Hey there doll. I vwas lookin’ for the bathroom, seein’ as there ain’t any ‘round the buildin’s outside, so do you think you could help me there?”

The girl flushes lightly and smiles, pointing Cronus in the direction of the bathroom. He goes sauntering that way and you hurry after him, avoiding eye contact with the lady at the desk.

Instead of going to the bathroom, Cronus turns and starts walking down different hallways, seemingly knowing where he was going, although you don’t think he really does. You follow him anyway, and at least he’s slowed down his pace enough to match your calm one.

As time passes, you grow increasingly worried. Where could they possibly be? You speed up your pace, tugging Cronus along until you’re just about running through all the identical hallways (gotta go fast), frantically searching for your father until-

SMACK.

You had just run into somebody and fallen to the floor. Ow. You rub at your head and carefully sit up, groaning, and get ready to yell at the asshole that had run into you and- oh my god.

Orpheus and Simon?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Muhahahaha, more cliffhangers. Yas. Okay, well, who knows when I'll get the next chapter out? I don't. How to end notes?? Thank you for all the comments and kudos and bookmarks! Seriously, you guys are the best :D EDIT: I fixed the format, you guys. Yup. Super important. You're welcome.


	17. Reminiscing and Escaping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While he's unconscious, Eridan goes over his life experiences, and the other 4 members of the family besides Sollux try to escape Town Hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's been way too long and this chapter is too short. Ah well, have this, and I apologize for it being shorter than planned, but I have stuff actually planned for the next chapter. Heehee.

Your name is Eridan Ampora and you think you’re unconscious. You haven’t been unconscious in years. Wow.

You’re walking along a path, although it’s all fog around you, and all you can see is the dirt path in front of you. You don’t even know where you’re going, or why you’re walking, but you just keep going.

But what would happen if you went off the path?

You pause, then look at the edge of the path. The fog is curling around it, wisps of it brushing against the edge but never going over the line. You crouch down to see if you can see under the fog, but the fog touches the ground and it’s so thick you can’t see through it.

You don’t want to go off the path and you don’t want to just stick your hand out into the fog blindly, because who knows what might happen if you do either? So instead you keep walking, but walk a bit faster.

However, as you keep walking, the path gets a bit narrower. You don’t notice it at first, but it gets noticeably harder to walk in a straight line as soon the road becomes thin enough that you have to walk with your arms tight at your sides, otherwise you’ll touch the fog.

You don’t even know why you think it’s bad to touch the fog. Man, this is weird.

Then you have to walk sideways, inching along as you spread your arms for support.

Then you have to suck in your breath to make your chest go in.

As a last attempt, you look back along the path to see if you could go backwards, but all that’s there is more fog, and the path you’ve walked is gone.

You’re trapped.

As a last attempt to save yourself, you try to crouch down and curl into a ball, but then the path disappears and you’re falling, fuck-

You land hard on some ground, and you groan, wincing. Your body aches all over, and you slowly get up, opening your eyes to your surroundings.

It’s your childhood home, before you moved to the mansion. Wow. You look around, exploring with a feeling of nostalgia. You’re in the living room, attached to the kitchen with its fancy-looking bar and hanging lights. Of course your parents could afford this expensive house, they’re your parents. It’s an open floor plan, so you can see the TV from where you are, somewhere between the living room and kitchen. The TV’s on. You can’t see who’s watching it because there’s a couch in the way. You wonder who’s watching it.

…

Maybe you don’t want to know who’s watching it.

But suddenly you can’t control your feet, and you’re walking over anyway, in front of the couch that was blocking your view.

It’s you.

More specifically, it’s you as a… were you 4? Maybe 5? A 5 year-old. You’re happily entranced in Harry Potter, clutching your fake wand to your chest and all decked out in your old wizard garb.

This was before you realized magic was fake, of course.

You admit you were pretty cute back then.

But what’s the point of this?

Suddenly, you hear yelling. 5 year-old you turns just as teenage you turns, and you see a woman stomping out of one of the nearby hallways, dragging a suitcase behind her and obviously furious.

The yelling’s coming from someone who looks like a younger version of your father, and he seems mad, but then he changes his mind and starts pleading with her.

“Please baby, don’t go, I promise we can fix this!” he begs, trying to tug on her arm.

“No. This is the last fucking time. I’m leaving, for good,” she snaps back, tugging her arm out of his grasp.

“Think of the kids! What are they going to do without their mother?” the man who looks like your father asks, obviously desperate to convince her to stay.

“You can deal. Or get married again. I’m done, Orpheus. Good-bye,” she says, and with that, she’s out the door.

Then it clicks.

That’s your father.

And that’s your mother from 12 years ago.

You fall onto the couch, your hand clenched over your heart. You don’t even really remember your mother. Cronus remembers her, because he was a year or two older then, but you don’t really remember anything. You don’t remember much from your childhood, actually, but Cronus told you that Mom had left Dad because they fought all the time. She birthed both you and Cronus, but she wasn’t around much- in fact, neither of your parents were around much- so you almost never saw her, instead immersing yourself in Harry Potter and other magical worlds to make up for the lack of parental control.

You hear the door slam and you turn around. Your father- yeah, that’s who it is, wow- has his head in his hands as he leans against the wall, suddenly looking very weary.

“Daddy?” comes a voice to your right, and it’s little you.

Your father looks up and asks, “Yes, Eri?” His eyes, surprisingly, aren’t red from crying. He wasn’t crying at all.

“Are mommy and you gonna be okay?” little you asks, going over to hug one of Orpheus’s legs.

He smiles down at you and answers, “Yeah, baby. We’re gonna be okay.” Then he picks you up and hugs you.

You honestly think you’re going to tear up.

You don’t think he’s been that warm to you ever since.

Then suddenly everything’s whirling, you’re spinning and falling down again, and when you get back up you’re in your current house, the mansion.

And you know exactly what memory this is.

Feferi.

\-----------------------------------------

Your name is Orpheus Ampora and it’s been a crazy week for you. Random humans show up at your house, one of whom is really cute, and you have to investigated your past, and you get captured by some lady and her old boss who you happen to know and have a bad rivalry with, and then rescued by the guy mentioned before who is super cute, and now you run into your elder child and the cute guy’s child while you’re running away from the old guy and the lady who captured you.

“Cronus. What the fuck are you doing here?” you start off, crossing your arms and staring down your nose at your son after getting up and brushing yourself off.

He turns pale. You don’t curse very often, and when you do, they know it’s serious. “Vwe vwere- vwe vwere lookin’ for you, Pop,” he says nervously, shifting slightly backwards.

Oh, it was a good deed, then.

You sigh and reply, “Well, we were here. Mituna’s here too, okay. Where are Eridan and Sollux?”

Cronus pauses, then mumbles, “Vwell, they’re at home. Sollux came into our room a vwhile ago actually, askin’ us about Mituna and my date,  but-“

“Wait. You two went on a date?” you raise your eyebrow, looking between the two of them.

Cronus freezes up again, so Mituna cuts in and says, grinning, “Yeah, we did.”

You eye Mituna, judging how well he would treat your son. Hmmm. Probably well. You don’t know Mituna extremely well, but if he’s as nice as his father, then it should be fine.

“Alright, that’s okay. Now I suggest we get going before the Mayor catches us again,” you say, and start walking away briskly. No need to run. Simon and your children follow you, but you have no idea where you’re going.

“Do any of you happen to know a way out of here?” you ask, slowing down and turning to walk backwards.

“We thought you knew the way,” Simon replies. Damn, now you feel bad.

“Well, I don’t. So. I was hoping one of you did,” you try to cover up.

“You can’t lead us vwithout knowin’ vwhere you’re goin’, Dad!” Cronus says, frowning.

“I’m sorry, alright? Now somebody else lead the w-“ you’re cut short and you back into something hard. You jump in surprise and turn around.

Shit, it’s the Mayor and his assistant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhangers. Yas. I don't know how soon I will have the next chapter up, as most of my time is taken by homework and studying for tests, but I always have time during my chemistry class to type on my laptop. Hehe. All kudos, comments, bookmarks, etc. are very much appreciated ^.^


	18. Everybody Is Sad, But Also Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Captors and Amporas have another tussle with the Mayor, a backstory is gone over, and Eridan relives painful memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! It hasn't been 10 years since I last updated. It's been like a week. I have 0 chill. Also, I've been writing this during chemistry class, where we do nothing, so that helps. Yeah, enjoy this bowl of angst and sadness. Have fun!

Your name is Sollux Captor, and by now you’re pretty worried.

Eridan has been twitching in his unconscious state, frowning at times, and you’re- well, you’re worried for him. You wonder if maybe he’s having a bad dream. Do unconscious people dream? They must, because sleeping is basically being unconscious for hours-

Whatever. You wet the rag you had on his forehead with water from the sink in your bathroom and put it back on, hoping to calm him at least. It helps a little, but he’s still frowning. You wonder what it would be like, for him to not be frowning. Maybe he would even be smiling. Wow.

You shake your head, clearing your thoughts. Then you sigh, and try to poke at his face to get it to relax. It doesn’t work.

Meanwhile, where are your brother and father? And Eridan’s brother and father?

While you hate to leave Eridan like this, you need to find out what happened to your families. You haven’t heard anything in hours. Huh.

You pap Eridan on the cheek, then stand up and exit your room. It’s oddly silent in your house. Normally, you can hear Mituna playing his video games or at least Simon making dinner. It’s around dinner time anyway.

You walk down the hallway and go down the stairs, listening for anything. You check the living room, and the kitchen, and the dining room, and every room downstairs. No sign of any of them. Ugh.

You can’t leave Eridan by himself when he’s unconscious, so all you can do is go back up to your room and sit next to Eridan. You do so, and then get out a game to amuse yourself. All you can do now is wait.

\----------------------------

Your name is Simon Captor and you’re in big trouble. Again.

You, or more specifically Orpheus, just ran into the Mayor and his assistant. Moreso the assistant.

Before you can even think you’re running, running in the opposite direction of the Mayor. The other 3 follow you, and you know the Mayor can’t run, and the assistant lady can’t run without him, so you think you actually have a chance of getting away.

Then suddenly you hear yelps of surprise behind you. You spin around to see an invisible force tugging Orpheus and Cronus back, all the way to the Mayor. Shit. Is it the weird assistant lady? It’s probably the weird assistant lady.

Her eyes have gone all glowy, but she’s standing there like she’s doing nothing, although Orpheus and Cronus are fighting against their bonds like there’s no tomorrow.

You share a hesitant glance with Mituna, who’s stopped running as well, then you both break into a run back over to the others. Orpheus and Cronus are held against the wall now, and though they’re struggling, they’re not making any headway.

You need to destroy this at the base.

You dart towards the assistant lady and push her to the ground. You really don’t want to hurt her, but at the same time you really do want to hurt her. She’s caught off-guard by the push and whatever bonds are on Orpheus and Cronus go away, and this time you four run past the mayor and down a hallway.

The assistant lady is too confused and dazed to immediately catch you guys, so you all just keep running, running hopefully towards the exit.

You follow the various signs throughout the hallways and somehow manage to make it the front lobby.

“Yeth!” Mituna cheers, and the lady at the front desk looks suitably confused.

“Come on, guys,” you say, and lead everyone out calmly.

It’s getting dark outside, and there’s nobody on the streets or sidewalks. It feels oddly like a ghost town, even though you know people live here. Heh, it kind of is a ghost town. There’s a light breeze going on, ruffling the trees and blowing various litter on the ground everywhere.

You start leading your group towards your house, walking carefully. Who knows who is outside tonight?

It’s getting around dinnertime, and while the lonely little cafes look very friendly, you have to get home and eat dinner there instead, because you don’t have your wallet on you.

You four make your way out of the town and towards your mansion with minimal talking, still a bit shocked by what had happened back at Town Hall.

You all go inside, and you call up, “Sollux! Eridan!”

\--------------------------------

“Sollux! Eridan!”

You jump, startled out of your video game stupor. Your father’s calling you. Are they back already?

“Coming!” you shout back, and put your game down, giving one last glance to Eridan, then leaving your room and going downstairs.

“Sorry we were all so late. We got caught up in some trouble,” Simon smiles at you as he walks to the kitchen.

You follow him while saying, “What kind of trouble are you talking about?”

“Oh, just some trouble with the Mayor. No big deal,” he keeps smiling as he starts making dinner, then continues, “Where’s Eridan?”

You panic and say, “Uh, he’th thleeping.”

Simon frowns. “I thought ghosts didn’t sleep.”

“Well, while you were gone, he… fell. Down the thtairth. And he hit hith head, then he wath unconsciouth.”

Simon pauses, then replies, “Alright then. Dinner will be ready soon, go wait in the dining room.”

You obey him and leave the kitchen, walking into the dining room and sitting next to your brother, who is, disgustingly, making goo-goo eyes at Cronus from across the table.

“Tho. What happened while you were gone?” you ask.

“It’th a long thtory,” Mituna says, and it looks like he’s nudging Cronus with his foot under the table. Ugh.

“Well, I want to know what happened,” you state, slouching down in your seat.

“Basically vwe got in trouble vwith the Mayor, an’ vwe had to escape, an’ I guess  our parents vwere there too, and then vwe came back here,” Cronus replies, smiling and nudging Mituna back.

“Wait. You got in trouble with the Mayor?” you ask, your jaw practically dropping.

“We did. It wath Cronuth’th dad who thtarted it, then our dad went looking for him and got in trouble too, then we went looking for them, then they ethcaped and we ran into them, then the Mayor appeared again but we ethcaped again,” Mituna explains, looking very pleased with himself.

“What did the Mayor want with you?” you ask, confused.

“He probably got pissed vwith us ‘cause vwe vwas snoopin’ around,” Cronus smirks.

“Wow,” you say, rolling your eyes.

There’s no more to that conversation, and you slouch back as you wait for dinner.

\------------------------------

Your name is once again Simon Captor and you’re just making dinner. For your children. Yeah.

Suddenly Orpheus comes in and watches you cook.

“Hey,” you mumble, moving the frying pan around a little bit.

“Hey. What are you cooking?” he asks.

“Dinner. Food. I can make some for you too, if you want? Wait, sorry, I don’t know if ghosts eat- you know what, never mind,” you trail off, blushing.

Orpheus laughs, a deep rumble. “Actually I can eat food. I would like some, thank you.”

You smile and reply, “Can do.”

“So. What were you doing in the Town Hall?” Orpheus suddenly asks.

Well, you weren’t prepared for that.

“I was looking for some records in the records room. I found a couple, but none of them had to do with your deaths. They really clean up good,” you say.

“What records do they have on me?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Just some divorce papers and a thing for when you bought this plot of land,” you reply, getting out plates. Out of the corner of your eye, you see him clench up at the mention of divorce papers. Wow. Must’ve been a nasty divorce, then.

“That’s all they should have on me,” Orpheus mumbles. Then he sighs, “Well, you probably know all about my past now. I had 2 children with my wife, she left me because she didn’t love me or something, I never knew the reason, it might’ve been all the arguments…”

You’re silent, letting him vent it all out.

“And she left me to take care of 2 young children by myself. I don’t think either of them remembers her. Hell, I don’t think she remembers them. I don’t even know where she is now,” he finishes, looking down at the floor.

“It’s alright, I understand,” you throw in quietly, not looking at him but at your cooking instead. “My wife… well, it’s a long  story.”

Orpheus is silent for you just like you were for him, waiting for you to continue.

You sigh, moving your cooking aside and leaning on the counter on your elbows, preparing for a story. “Well, I met my wife in high school. I immediately fell in love. She was the most beautiful girl I’d laid eyes on. We started out as friends, then I asked her to prom in our junior year and she said yes. I was ecstatic… the night of prom was the night I officially asked her to be my girlfriend, and she said yes to that too. We were happy. We went to college together, and although we majored in different things that’s okay. Once we graduated, we moved in together, then a year or so later I asked her to marry me. We got married, and we had Mituna and Sollux, and things were perfect…”

“Where’s your wife now?” Orpheus asks the inevitable question.

“She… died, a few years after we had Mituna and Sollux.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. I went through a brief grief stage, but it was only brief because I knew I had to stay strong for Mituna and Sollux, who were 5 or 6 then. So I did. And so I moved on. I went out for coffee or drinks with a couple of people, of course, but it never got serious, so… I haven’t been with anyone since then, not for years.”

“Wow,” he says after you finish, then asks, “Nobody?”

“No, I just… with taking care of Mituna and Sollux, and working as a single dad, I just… haven’t had the time,” you say, still not making eye contact.

“Okay. I’m going to go wait in the dining room,” he says, then leaves you alone to finish cooking.

You really loved her, your wife. You’ve moved on, of course, but… you miss her. A lot. It’s not like you wouldn’t get together with someone else, because she always told you that she just wanted you to be happy, but you haven’t had the time. Maybe if you find the right person, maybe you might start dating again. But until then, you’re content like this.

\--------------------

Your name is Eridan Ampora and you’re forced to relive the moment your heart was shattered into millions of tiny pieces.

You watch as the scene around you flies by, going through all the time you spent with Feferi, from accidentally meeting her when you were visible and walked into your room, right into her, to the later moments in her time at the Ampora mansion when you spent all of your time with her.

It’s painful, looking at yourself looking at her and seeing the love in your eyes, but knowing it’s unrequited and hopeless. You’re a ghost, you remember thinking. You can’t love the living, who can pity the dead.

“This needs to stop, Eridan. I can’t have you talking to her anymore.”

There’s your father.

You remember this. How, after a while of hanging out with Feferi, your father yelled at you and forbid you from talking to her. Then he made you watch as he and Cronus drove Feferi and her sister out.

You did nothing, of course. You couldn’t. You wanted to, but your father… once he says something, he means it. If he tells you not do something, you do not do whatever it is. Which is why you did nothing.

Orpheus and Cronus hid their stuff. They moved things around. They threw things around. They drove Feferi and her sister crazy, and eventually, Feferi and her sister left.

You watched them go. You stood outside the door, not daring to be visible as Feferi and her sister drove away.

You watch yourself sit on the steps and break down crying. You yourself are on the verge of tears; reliving all these memories has been too painful. The scene around you whirls again, and you find yourself in darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, fun. Now we know what's up with Simon. What's up, Simon. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed, all kudos and comments are greatly appreciated, and yeah! Happy Halloween, you guys. It's not Halloween anymore. But that's okay. Happy Thanksgiving. Yeah.


	19. Nothing Really Important Happens, But It’s Cute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Refer to the title of this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it only took me 10 days to write this. Shout-out to my honors chem teacher for letting me type gay fanfiction in that class. Jk. Anyway, no but seriously most of this was written in my honors chem class. No joke. Anyway, so there's literally no plot in this chapter because I am dumb and do not plan ahead, so the plot will pick up next chapter (Chapter 20!!!!! omg) but this chapter is just a bunch of fluff?? and sadstuck?? Idk. Enjoy.

Your name is Sollux Captor and you’re having a nice, quiet dinner with your family. Plus some ghosts of a dead family that was murdered years ago under mysterious circumstances.

Well, it sounds weird when you say it like that.

It’s just been a weird week. You’ve had to go to school like nothing’s going on, but of course you have ghosts living- ha, living- in your house. Sometimes they come to school with you and Mituna. It’s just Eridan and Cronus who come with you, because you’re pretty sure Orpheus follows Simon to work.

Eridan generally hangs out with you at school when he’s not bugging Cronus and Mituna. When he is with you, he always makes sarcastic comments over your shoulder about the teacher, your classmates, the work you have to do, your work. He’s just a very sassy person.

And now your train of thought has gone to Eridan. Sigh.

You sigh quietly, quickly finishing your dinner and excusing yourself, then moving to the kitchen to put your dishes away. You should go check on Eridan. You hope he’s awake by now.

You move upstairs, then walk into your bedroom.

He’s still unconscious.

You start getting annoyed. It’s been 10 years since you knocked him out, he should be awake by now.

It’s not his fault.

You sigh again and sit down on your bed, next to Eridan. Somehow he’s moved while you were gone, and he’s in a completely different position, on his side facing you. He’s twitching in his sleep, frowning and grumbling. You hesitate, then put out your hand, kind of petting the side of his face. To your surprise, he calms down and relaxes, still frowning a bit, but you think that’s just his natural expression.

The cloth you’d been using on his forehead had fallen off, so you pick it up and press it against his forehead. It’s colder now, and a bit dryer, but it still works.

Then Eridan wakes up so suddenly you fall backwards off the bed.

“Sol!” he yelps, startled.

You groan and pick yourself up, sitting back down next to Eridan. “Thorry, I- I didn’t expect you to wake up.”

“Oh, right, I forgot. You knocked me out by punchin’ me in the fuckin’ face,” Eridan says shortly, dropping the cloth you had on his forehead to the side, looking at it disdainfully.

The feeling of guilt comes crashing down on you, and you pick up the cloth. “I didn’t mean to. I wathn’t… I wathn’t thinking thtraight. I’m thorry for punching you in the face, ED.”

He looks a bit surprised by your apology, then softens a bit. “I guess I forgivve you, Sol,” then he glares, “But if you punch me again, I swwear, I wwill break your face.”

You chuckle, “Okay, ED. Now let me take care of the bump I left on your fathe.”

“You did wwhat?” Eridan gasps, and tries to get up and rush over to the bathroom (to the mirror), but you block him, pushing him back down on the bed.

“You’re hurt, but it’th fine, I can take care of you, okay? Jutht thtay here while I… um…” You don’t know how to doctor. “Get thome… medical thtuff.”

You get up and panic for a second, then grab the first-aid kit you had moved to the side a while ago, then sit back down next to Eridan, opening the kit up. You rummage around in it for a bit, not really looking for anything and not really finding anything, until Eridan starts making impatient noises and you grab the cloth from earlier, wetting it with cold water from the  bathroom and pressing it to the side of Eridan’s face, where a bump was from your punch.

He hisses as you press a bit too hard, and you let up a bit. No need to hurt him further.

“Tho. Did you have nithe dreamth? Er… did you have dreamth at all?” you ask, holding his face to keep him still.

He averts his eyes and flushes, but you don’t think it’s embarrassment. Maybe… maybe he’s upset?

“Not a good quethtion?” you ask quietly, raising an eyebrow.

He shakes his head minutely, and you’re careful to not move the cloth too much. Soon, the silence is becoming oppressive.

“Tho. What wath your life like?” you ask, considering it a fairly harmless question.

Again, he ignores the question, his head tilted down a bit. Okay, maybe not a good question.

“Tell me thomething about yourthelf,” you say, ready to give up on talking to him.

He looks at you, his expression surprised, and you raise an eyebrow. Wow, your faces are _really_ close. You’d been closer to him than you thought, because you were treating the bump on the left side of his head- well, his left. He has freckles, all across the bridge of his nose. That’s cute. Wait, what. Why did you say cute.

Luckily Eridan interrupts your train of thought and mumbles, “Wwell, wwhat do you wwant to knoww?”

“Um.” You pause, dumbfounded. You know his favorite color, obviously that weird bright purple he wears on everything, including his hair. Hm. “What’th your favorite animal?”

“Seahorses,” he replies, smiling softly.

You pull back, a little startled. “Theahortheth? Really?”

“Don’t make fun a’ me, Sol,” he says, and oh god he’s pouting. He is a baby.

“You are a baby,” you tell him, and continue holding the cloth against his face.

He grumbles but doesn’t say anything, so you ask, “What about your favorite food?”

“Nope. You havve to tell me your favvorite animal first, Sol,” he says, crossing his arms.

“That’th eathy. Beeth. Now what’th your favorite food?”

“Wwhy bee- no, I’m not evven goin’ to ask. An’ my favvorite food is steak.”

“Of courthe it would be thteak.”

“Wwhat’s THAT supposed to mean?”

“It meanth of courthe you would like all the thuper fancy shit. I bet you drink wine with your thteak.”

“Sol, I’m underage, an’ that is illegal! Besides, I bet your favvorite food is no better.”

“It ith tho much better. Doritoth and energy drinkth.”

“Sol, that’s twwo foods. An’ one of those ain’t evven a food!”

“Wrong. Both are amazing and delicious and your argument is invalid.”

“Sol-“

“No.”

“But-“

“No.”

He’s quiet, but you can see him glaring at you out of the corner of your eye. You roll your eyes at him and his childishness, and shift slightly closer to him so you can look at the bump on the side of his head.

It’s not that bad- it could probably be worse. You punched him hard enough to knock him out, which may be too hard, but there’s just a small bump there. You sigh quietly, and your breath accidentally washes over Eridan’s ear and neck, and he flushes. You flush as well and pull away, handing him the cloth.

“I thuppothe you don’t really need it anymore, but if you want to keep prething it to your bump you can. I’m going to go put the kit away,” you say, standing up.

Before you can walk away, Eridan grabs your arm and says, “Sol?”

You look down at him, raising an eyebrow. “Yeth?”

He opens his mouth as if to say something, but doesn’t, and you find your eyes drawn to his lips, perfect and kissable and you’re leaning down and he’s pulling you closer and you’re ready to kiss him-

And then he lets go of your arm and picks up the cloth. “Nevver mind,” he mumbles, and you blush, realizing you’re nearly bent over him.

You quickly straighten up, mumble a “Okay,”, and grab the kit before walking into the bathroom. Shit, that was weird. You almost kissed him.

You almost kissed Eridan.

Before you start questioning your entire existence, you put the kit back under the sink cabinet, then walk back into the room.

He’s facing away from you now, lying on his left side with the cloth under his head.

“Are you good?” you ask.

No response.

You sigh and sit at your desk instead, going on your computer and definitely not looking at Eridan out of the corner of your eye every so often.

\----------------------

Your name is Orpheus Ampora, and you feel bad. You told Simon earlier about your wife, and then you unlocked his tragic backstory. And now you feel bad for bringing it up.

He told you he was fine, but you don’t think he is. Mituna, Cronus, and Sollux all just finished dinner, and you’re left alone with him. He’s finished his food, but he’s just staring at his plate.

“Hey,” you offer him.

He jumps, as if he had been spacing out and you startled him, then relaxes and replies, “Hi.”

“How are you?” you ask carefully, watching him.

“I’ve been better,” he murmurs.

“I apologize for bringing up the subject earlier. I shouldn’t have-“

“No, it’s fine. You told me about your wife, so it’s only fair I tell you about mine.”

You pause for a moment, then offer him a small smile. “Alright then.”

He smiles back and picks up everybody’s plates, bringing them into the kitchen. You follow, and watch as he puts them into the dishwasher.

“So are we done for the day?” Simon asks when he straightens back up, closing the dishwasher with his hip.

“Yeah, I think we’ve been through enough trouble,” you chuckle, brushing some hair out of your face with a hand.

Then he turns all serious and says, “Look, I really don’t mind about telling you details of my life. I really miss my wife, but I’ve moved on. And so I’m okay with telling you stuff,” he smiles.

You raise an eyebrow, surprised. “Really? You trust me that much? A ghost, who can go anywhere and tell anyone anything you’ve told me?”

He laughs and replies, “Yeah, for some reason, I do.”

“Well, I’m glad you do,” you say, smiling at him.

He smiles, then says, “Well, I have to go to bed because it’s been a long day and I have to check on the kids to make sure they’re not up to anything.”

“Alright. Good night,” you say, and he walks past you, towards the stairs.

Sometimes, you wish you were alive again just to be with someone who’ll make you happy.

\------------------

Your name is now Simon Captor, and you can’t believe you let that opportunity rush through your fingertips.

You could’ve kissed him. You could’ve stepped forward over that little gap between you two and cupped his face and kissed him, but you didn’t.

Oh, well. It won’t do you well to dwell on the past. For now, you should just go check on your children.

You run into Sollux on the way up, and he looks tired.

“Hey there,” you greet him, ruffling his hair.

He whines and swats at your hand, grumbling, “Don’t touch my hair.”

You laugh and take your hand away, then say, “What’s up?”

“Well, Eridan’s awake now, so I was taking care of him while he complained at me,” he says, rolling his eyes.

“That sounds like fun. What was he complaining about?” you ask, smiling.

“Just the usual stuff. He complains a lot,” Sollux grumbles.

“Sounds like you’re fond of him. Now get to sleep,” you say, ruffling his hair one last time before you walk past him and towards your own bedroom.

It really is late, and you need to get to bed, so you quickly change into pajamas, and then get into bed.

Your last thought before you fall asleep is about how much you miss your deceased wife.

\---------------

Your name is Eridan Ampora, and you are stupid.

So stupid. Why would you even try to kiss Sollux? He isn’t into you. He might not even like guys!

Stupid, stupid, stupid. You tell yourself that as you curl up on your side, the cloth he gave you resting under your head.

Yeah, he hit you. You’re still pretty pissed about that, and you’re not going to forgive him- hell, if he does it again you’ll hit back- but he apologized… that doesn’t make it okay, of course. But you won’t hit back, because that’s fighting violence with violence and that’s not good.

Whatever, you’re overthinking this. You need to give up on thoughts of getting with Sollux, because you’re a ghost and ghosts can’t love or be with humans.

Ghosts can’t be with humans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Eridan bby. Maybe I'll update next in 10 days, maybe 10 years. We just don't know.


	20. To Do or Not To Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A giant discussion about what to do, featuring all the Amporas and Captors. Plus sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is the chapter talking about dealing with the Mayor or sex? We just don't know. Haha. Anyway, sorry I was gone so long. Have this chapter. Here. Also, porn a.k.a. blowjobs and masturbation. Yup. I need to add those tags now lol. And 4,000 wORDS??????? Also, I just wanted to get this out before finals, because I'm not going to be able to write for the next week because studying. ALSO !!!!!! The biffle has drawn me fANART which I have added to chapter 14 (it's the one of Crotuna date yas) but here is the source: http://obscurelytainted.tumblr.com/post/102856853869/dorky-nerd-with-a-cute-ghosty-boyfriend-this-is :D

Your name is Simon Captor and you’ve just woken up to silence in the house.

You check your clock, and it’s only about 9 o’clock. Maybe you should get up and make your children breakfast. Yeah.

You get up and stretch, then plod over to the bathroom to take a shower. Once you’re finished taking a shower, you wrap a towel around your waist and walk out only to find Orpheus standing right outside the bathroom door.

You definitely don’t let out a yelp and hug the towel tighter around your waist.

Orpheus shifts, seeming uncomfortable as he averts his eyes. “Uh, I just wanted to let you know that we’re all ready to explore more on the case, so whenever you’re… um, dressed, you can come join us.”

“Yeah, okay,” you say and stretch, and don’t miss the way his eyes seem to flick over you briefly. You smirk.

“Just- uh, come down when you’re ready,” he mumbles, then quickly absconds.

You laugh to yourself, then start to get dressed. Orpheus is totally into you.

\------------------

Your name is Eridan Ampora and you’re upset that Sollux is ignoring you.

Last night, he let you sleep in his bed next to him to recover, but he made you face the wall while he faced away from you so nothing more had happened after you almost kissed.

You still can’t believe you almost kissed.

You spent the entire night trying to will away your awkward boner.

Nonetheless, when the morning comes, he gets up and goes to get changed, so you roll over and sit on the edge of the bed. He went in the bathroom to change, like he doesn’t trust you or something. Wow.

When he comes back out, he avoids eye contact with you, like looking at you will kill him or something. He leaves the room without a word.

Why is he not talking to you?

Shit, did he see your awkward boner?

You roll your eyes and follow him downstairs and into the living room, where Cronus, Mituna, and Orpheus are already waiting.

“So. Wwhat are wwe doin’ for today?” you ask, crossing your arms.

“Once Simon comes down from his room, we’ll form a plan,” Orpheus replies stiffly.

“Well, go tell him to hurry up,” Sollux interrupts, snapping a bit.

Orpheus looks shocked. Cronus looks shocked. You are shocked. Nobody’s talked like that to Orpheus before.

Nonetheless, Orpheus leaves and goes upstairs.

You’re kind of impressed.

You sit down on the couch, huffing a bit as you contemplate what to do. A confrontation might be best, considering if you all gang up on the mayor, you might get a confession out of him.

Sollux comes and sits at the opposite end of the couch, and you both pretend there isn’t any awkward tension.

“Tho. What are your planth for today?” Sollux asks, and if you didn’t know better, you’d think he was asking you out on a date- but you know he just wants to know what’s going on with the investigation.

“Wwe don’t knoww yet,” you answer, shifting to lean against the back of the couch and face him.

He won’t look at you as he says, “Figure it out thoon, I gueth, then.”

Just then, Cronus and Mituna come in, being too lovey-dovey for your refined tastes.

Cronus has his arm slung around Mituna’s neck in a playful fashion, and Mituna is snickering, trying (but not really trying) to get Cronus’s arm off of him. Cronus laughs and plants a kiss on the top of Mituna’s fluffy hair, and Mituna blushes, smirking and shoving at Cronus.

You roll your eyes as they both collapse into a big chair, sharing it. You pointedly avoid looking at Sollux right then.

Orpheus comes back down, and he cautiously eyes Sollux (probably because of earlier), then sits down in a chair off to the side. “He’s on his way down,” he says, and sounds strangely choked?

Eh, whatever. You don’t waste time further thinking on it, and soon Simon comes down, having freshly showered.

“Have I missed anything?” he asks, looking around at the arrangement you 5 have put yourselves in.

“Not yet,” you grumble, rolling your eyes. You wish you could just get this over with.

“We need to decide on what to do about the Mayor,” Orpheus says, sitting up straight in his chair. Haha, straight.

Simon takes a seat in another chair (why are there so many chairs?) and leans back, waiting for someone to speak.

You jump in with, “I believve a direct confrontration wwould be best. An’ wwe should all be there, to get a confession out a’ him.”

“That’th a horrible idea,” Sollux snaps from your left. “What if he callth thecurity or thomething and kickth uth out? Then we wouldn’t be allowed in at all, thmartath.”

“Wwell, I don’t see _you_ comin’ up wwith any ideas, Sol,” you sniff.

“I have ideath. I think we should sneak around his building until we find thomething, anything directly leading towardth the mayor,” Sollux says, crossing his arms and looking smug.

“Well, we’ve already tried sneaking in,” Simon adds, “And that place is like a maze. It’s going to be near impossible to find anything.”

“Maybe vwe could tie him up an’ force the information outta’ him,” Cronus suggests, playing with Mituna’s hair.

“We can’t do that, not with his weird assistant floating around,” Orpheus grumbles.

“We’d have to incapacitate her,” Simon concludes.

“We’re going to chop her head off?!” Mituna exclaims in shock.

Sollux sighs and says, “No, ‘Tuna, that’th ‘decapitate’. ‘Incapacitate’ ith jutht to… ditharm, I gueth.”

“An’ howw wwould wwe do that?” you ask, stretching your legs out and purposely nudging Sollux.

Sollux just huffs and shoves your feet away, then says, “She hath thothe weird… ghothty powerth, right? Maybe we could find that thame rope she uthed on Orpheuth and my dad and uthe it to tie her up.”

“Sol, for once in your life, I think you might be onto somethin’,” you add, smirking. He sneers and flicks your leg.

“Boys,” Orpheus starts, glaring at the both of you, and you both settle down. “That’s a wonderful idea, except the issue from earlier comes up- the Town Hall is a maze of hundreds of corridors that all look exactly alike. There’s no way we could find the rope in there, let alone the rope and the Mayor’s assistant AND incapacitate her.”

You groan in frustration and ask, “Isn’t there at least a map a’ the place or somethin’ that could help us?”

Mituna chimes in, “Ath we were walking inside, I thaw a wall of different brochureth about the building and thtuff. It might have a map somewhere on it.”

“Thanks, Mit’. Savwing the day as usual,” Cronus smirks, nuzzling Mituna’s hair. Orpheus coughs loudly, and Cronus blushes, leaning back a bit.

“Anyway, that’s a good idea. But it’s a large place, and we’d have no idea which room the rope is in, and the Mayor and his assistant could be anywhere at any time,” Simon points out.

“This entire fuckin’ conversation is pointless,” you complain, tilting your head back and groaning. “Wwe’re gettin’ nowwhere wwith these stupid arguments, and this wwhole thin’ is pointless. I say wwe call it quits for today until wwe can actually figure shit out.”

“Damn, and I thought _I_ wath the pethimitht,” Sollux mutters from across the couch, and you scowl and mock him, “Pethimitht,” under your breath to spite him.

“Eridan, my boy,” Orpheus starts off, and you immediately tune him out. None of that “my boy” bullshit.

Cronus decides to cut him off anyway- another risky decision; is everybody dissing your father today?- with, “Eri, don’t you vwant to know who killed you and how to get the guy that did it in jail for life?”

“Look, evven if wwe do get him to confess, it’ll only be a confession. Wwe don’t havve enough evvidence to really convvict him,” you point out, frowning. Sollux mocks your “evvidence” and “convvict” off to the side. You kick him, but not hard enough to truly hurt him.

“That’th a good point. We don’t even know where the bodieth might be,” Mituna says, leaning on Cronus.

“Did the diary we found thay anything about where they put the bodieth?” Sollux asks. Fuck, you’d completely forgotten about the diary Sollux had found when he hacked into the Mayor’s laptop. You can’t believe that- the description from what Cronus told you sometime earlier- the “crotchety old man” has a laptop. Old people shouldn’t have new technology.

Anyway, you reply, “No, it didn’t. It just said they hid the bodies.”

“Well, that’th helpful,” he grumbles, and you kick him again in annoyance. He kicks you back, but before you can really get into it, Orpheus is interrupting the both of you with, “Boys.”

That’s scary.

You quit while you’re ahead and sigh, saying, “Can’t this wwait for another day until wwe figure all this out? Wwe need more information on evverythin’, an’ wwe ain’t gettin’ nowhere wwith any a’ this. So I say wwe givve it up for noww, and find more information.”

“I agree with ED,” Sollux interjects surprisingly, and you look over at him suspiciously. He never agrees with you. Never.

“Alright,” Orpheus rumbles, “We’ll deal with this tomorrow. For today, try to find out more information on this whole thing.”

You all sort of disperse, and you follow Sollux up to his room. He’s probably just going to do some more hacking on his laptop.

You are right in your predictions, and he does get on his laptop, leaving you to boredom. You glare at him a little, but he doesn’t respond. You sigh and wander around his room a little.

Now that he’s lived here for a little while, there’s more of… him in the room. His bedsheets are red and blue, alternating, and his bed is in the corner of the room. His desk is write next to it, and it’s where he’s coding. His dresser is at the foot of his bed, in the other corner of the room. The room isn’t as big as the master bedroom, but it’s still pretty big- the only reason the dresser is in the other corner but also at the foot of his bed is because of the size of the  master bed. He doesn’t have much in the way of cherished objects, but there are a few lying around, like an old stuffed bee on his bed and a few keychains on the top of his dresser.

He isn’t very sentimental, obviously.

You explore the keychains anyway.

They’re all from Oregon, like the keychain with a duck with a green shirt on it for the Oregon Ducks, and one with a picture of rain because of all the rain in Oregon. Maybe he misses his home state. It’s so different, living in California versus living in Oregon- not just the weather, but the people, the plant and wildlife, the lifestyle… everything.

Wow. It must’ve been hard to move here.

You look over at him, and he’s slouched over in his seat, typing away at his laptop. Has he had anything to eat? He must be hungry. Hm.

You don’t want to dote on him like a maid.

But on the other hand, you kind of do.

Maybe you’ll do it.

\---------

Your name is Orpheus Ampora and wow, you’re into Simon.

You’re not sure when you realized it, but yeah, you like Simon.

And you’re also pretty sure he knows you like him.

Anyway, you find Simon in the kitchen making pancakes at the stove. You walk up behind him and say, “Hey.”

He jumps a little as he turns around, then laughs and says, “Hi, Orpheus. What’s up?”

“The kids are all upstairs, so I came to talk to you,” you say, leaning against the counter.

“Oh?” he says, raising an eyebrow and smirking. You internally facepalm. Not THAT kind of talk.

“No, I mean about what we’re going to do tomorrow,” you say, then sigh. You fucked up again. Simon starts to say something, but you interrupt, “What we’re going to do about the Mayor.”

Simon thinks for a moment, flipping a pancake in the pan. Then he answers, “I don’t know. I think the kids are better at finding things out, actually. While Sollux does all the material stuff, hacking into things and coding, Mituna is particularly attentive to his surroundings, and can find things easily… like the maps he believes he found in the front room of the Town Hall.”

“And Eridan is good at riling Sollux up, making him work harder, while Cronus… well, he treats Mituna like his boyfriend- which I assume he is- and it motivates Mituna to work harder,” you add, nodding.

“Yeah. Our kids work together,” Simon says, smiling a bit at you. You smile back, and then he turns back to his pancakes.

“It’s nice to know they’re working so hard on this case, but what can we do to help? I don’t like not doing anything,” you mumble, flushing slightly. Back when you were still alive, you were in charge of everything. Even before you moved to this mansion, you were in charge of everything. You’re used to giving orders. But you weren’t like most bosses- you liked to do some of the work yourself. So yeah, you’re not used to other people doing all the work on something you’re interested in.

“I’m sure that there’s something at one point we can help the kids with, but until then, I’ll settle for making them food and helping them through life,” Simon smiles.

You smile a bit, looking at him. “You’re a good father,” you conclude, watching him pile pancakes on a plate.

He laughs and says, “Well, I try. I’m sure you are, too.”

The smile drops from your face. Ever since you’ve died, you’d considered the time you spent alive. “Actually… no, probably not. When I was… well, alive, I didn’t spend much time with Eridan and Cronus. I was always away on business. Not far away, but I spent a majority of my time meeting with important people either in this town or the next over, so when I got home it was usually too late spend time with my boys, because they were always in bed. When they misbehaved, I was… I believe a bit too harsh on them-yelling at them and grounding them and such-, and I think they… feared me for that. And it’s bad that I didn’t even realize any of this until all 3 of us were murdered,” you finish, murmuring.

Simon was silent the entire time you were speaking, politely silent as he listens and flips more pancakes. When you’re finished, he pauses a moment, then replies softly, “I don’t believe you’re a bad father. I believe that… some parents could be less  harsh with their children, of course, but if you’ve improved in death with your children, then… it’s okay in death. I know that might not make much sense, now that I say it out loud…” Simon laughs nervously, “But I understand. And now that you’re a ghost and living with your ghost children, you can spend all the time you want with them. At least look at that as an upside.”

“Thank you, Simon,” you say, smiling at him. You’re grateful for his kind words. “I’m glad you moved into this house,” you continue, surprising yourself. You’ve never been happy for anyone to move into this house, because all they do usually is fuck up your shit.

Simon seems surprised because he looks over at you, an eyebrow raised, then says, still grinning, “I’m glad I did, too.”

You nod at him, then ask, “So. when are the pancakes going to be done?”

“Oh, soon enough. Could you go get some butter and syrup and put them on the table for me?” Simon asks, and you do so. Now you’re really living the domestic life.

Of course, if you really lived the domestic life… hm. What would it be like to be together with Simon?

You’re overthinking this. You had put the butter and syrup on the table in the dining room, and you glance over at Simon. He’s still flipping pancakes- how many pancakes is he making?- and he’s making quite a pile there. You go to the cabinet and grab another plate for him, putting it next to his other pancake plate, and he smiles at you gratefully.

God, you love his smile. He needs to smile at you 24/7.

What are you thinking right now?

You need to focus.

“So, you’re good here? You don’t need any more help with anything?” you ask, hesitating.

He turns around and replies, “I think I’m good for now. Thank you for all the help,” then he sends you a wink before turning around again.

You turn a bright red. Did he just wink at you? Did he really- okay, whatever, you’ll just go now.

You leave the room and go sit in the living room with nothing to do but watch TV or something. And hopefully not think about Simon Captor.

\---------

Your name is Mituna Captor, and you’re pretty fucking happy.

You have Cronus curled up against your side, his face buried in your neck as you play Pokemon on your DS. He isn’t asleep, but he’s close, and you squirm as his warm breath washes over your neck. You jostle him with your squirming and he comes out of his daze, blinking a bit.

“Did I fall asleep…?” he asks, his eyes half-closed and his head staying where it is on your shoulder.

“Not quite. I woke you up- thorry about that,” you reply, nosing at his hair.

“It’s alright, chief,” he murmurs back, his eyelashes fluttering against your neck. You let out a giggle, fidgeting against him. “Vwhat are you doin’?” he asks, staring up at you bemusedly.

“Your eyelashes are ticklish,” you reply, smiling.

“Good,” he snickers, batting his eyelashes harder against your neck.

You let out a yelp, squirming and laughing. “Cronuth!”

“Oh, are you ticklish?” he says, grinning and tickling at your sides and the backs of your knees.

You shriek, not prepared for the attack on your weak spots, and collapse into giggles, batting at him as he falls on top of you. Tears come to your eyes, and you wheeze with laughter, trying to shove him off of you. “Cronuth- I’m dying here-“

He snickers and finally lets up, pulling you into his arms. You send a watery glare- ruined by the fact that you’re trying not to smile- up at him, and he just smiles, giving you a kiss. You nudge him in retribution but kiss back, smiling a bit. And then he flicks his tongue against your lips- oh.

…

You’re strangely okay with this.

You flick your tongue back against his and he sighs a bit, sliding his tongue more fully against yours. You try to choke back the moan in the back of your throat, slipping your tongue into his mouth and instead. He pulls you into his lap and- yeah, yeah you like this. You settle against him cautiously, and he takes the opportunity to move his mouth to your neck, licking and kissing at it a bit before sucking a light mark onto it.

You let out a quiet moan, not able to help it. You’re already hard, fuck. You hesitantly rub against him, and he moans quietly back, gripping your hips to pull you down more, your crotch meeting his. Shit, he has a boner too. Wait, can ghosts even get boners? How is that possible? What is-

Cronus distracts you by moaning again, louder, when you rock down on him. You’re still really confused, but you don’t question it, tilting your head back and baring your neck. He latches onto your collarbone, nipping and sucking and you gasp, your dick aching. Okay, time to take control.

You push him down against the bed, straddling his thighs and grinding teasingly against him. He groans and grabs your hips, but you pin his hands against the bed, still slowly grinding. He sighs in pleasure, rocking his hips up against yours. “Fuckin’ tease…” you hear him grumble, and you laugh, leaning down to kiss him.

He kisses back eagerly, licking at your lips and whining a bit. You start on his neck instead, removing your crotch from his entirely. “C’mon babe, just touch me already,” he whispers, arching his back. You snicker and start moving downwards, pushing his shirt up and out of the way as you lick at his nipples. He whimpers and starts to tug on your hair- nope. None of that.

You pin his hands back down and slowly suck at his nipples, making him moan breathlessly and arch into your mouth. You decide he’s been good enough and move down to the tent in his jeans, pressing down against the fabric, making him squirm. You unbutton and unzip quickly, then pull any articles of clothing left off of him, revealing his dick.

You flick your tongue against the head, and he moans, precum already beading at the slit. Wow, it’s like he’s never been touched before.

…

He’s probably never been touched before.

You smirk at that but don’t say anything, busy with wrapping your lips around the head of his cock instead. He moans, hips automatically bucking up, but you pin his hips to the bed, slowly sliding further down his dick. He gasps your name and tries rocking his hips up in quick little bursts, his cock becoming even harder- if that’s possible.

You start grinding your own crotch against the bed, giving yourself some much-needed relief, and you moan, taking him as deeply as you can without choking. He cries out and grabs at the sheets, tugging on them as his hip-rocks get more and more sporadic, and all too soon he’s releasing down your throat, moaning your name as quietly as he can- there’s still other people in this house.

You wipe your mouth and sit up, letting him recover first. He pants, an arm slung across his face. You rub yourself through your jeans, moaning Cronus’s name quietly. He removes his arm to stare at you, wide-eyed, before quickly sitting up and replacing your hand with his. You moan again in gratitude, and he turns you around, one hand rubbing at your stomach as the other massages the front of your jeans.

You balance on your knees, hands clutching at the arm he has around your waist as you rock needily into his hand. He takes pity on you and pulls your jeans and underwear down, quickly taking your hard cock in his hand to stroke it gently. You cry out at the contact you’ve been wanting for so long and lean your head back on his shoulder. He squeezes, and you whimper, rocking your hips faster. He sucks on your neck while it’s near his mouth, starting to jerk you off faster and faster. You moan, accidentally digging your nails into his arm, which he bites at your neck for. All the bite does is spur you on, and before you know it you reach your orgasm, squirting out onto the bedsheets and moaning Cronus’s name loudly.

You then collapse (not on your jizz, though) onto the bed, pulling Cronus with you and smiling. You both enjoy your afterglow, curling close to each other and smiling.

\-------------------

Your name is Sollux Captor and you really wish you didn’t know what your brother’s moans sounded like.

All you were doing was sitting at your computer, scrolling through different sites and chilling when suddenly all you heard were moans from next door, where your brother is sleeping. Apparently with someone. Probably Cronus.

You plug your ears to try and block them out, but god _damn_ they are loud. Ugh. Why is your brother getting some and you aren’t? Seriously. Then again, you’re not sure… who you would get some with. Huh.

You wonder what Eridan’s doing right now.

Wait, no, why did your mind jump there? Shit. No. Not now.

At least the moaning’s stopped.

You sigh, trying to concentrate on your not-work, but you can’t help but imagine what Eridan’s moans sound like. He’s all high and mighty, but you bet in bed he’s a total bottom. Mmm… you wonder if he likes the same stuff you do. Or… what it would be like to fuck him. Yeah, pressing him into the bed and shoving your dick up his ass, hearing him moan and sometimes even scream your name as you squeeze his cock while you fuck-

Woah there friend, you might need to slow down. Nope, it’s too late, this train has officially arrived at Bonercity. Shit.

You look down at your crotch in dismay to realize that while you were _fantasizing about Eridan, fuck,_ your dick decided to pop up and say, hello friends I am here. Okay, options: 1. Take a cold shower, or 2. masturbate shamelessly about the pompous ghost who used to live in your room. Even slept in the same bed as the one you do. Maybe even masturbated in the same bed-

Looks like it’s option number 2.

You look around quickly to make sure no one’s in your room (like the ghost you’re going to shamelessly masturbate to), then get up and lock the door. _No one can know._

You lie down on your back on your bed, already feeling weird about the thing- but you can’t go back now. You rub your dick through your jeans for a moment, teasing yourself as you bite your lip. Then you unbutton and unzip them, wiggling your hips to get them as well as your underwear off and down to your calves.

Fuck. You are turned on.

You slowly grip your dick, rubbing softly and moaning in response. Shit, you’ve got to keep quiet. You turn onto your left side and bite the pillow, rubbing a bit faster. Here comes the imagination to fuel this solo session.

You imagine shoving Eridan down on the bed, both of you already excited and ready for some fun. He pulls you down to kiss him, and you shove your tongue into his mouth, grinding against him. You skip through all the stripping and you have him naked underneath you, keening out your name as you fuck him hard into the mattress, one hand keeping you stable and the other stroking his cock, and he’s gasping beneath you, flushed and wanting and-

You orgasm suddenly, curling forward as you stroke yourself through your orgasm, moaning Eridan’s name into the pillow. How’d you even come that fast?

You sigh and relax into the bed, agreeing with yourself that option 2 was so much better.

\---------------

Your name is Eridan Ampora and you are 200% confused.

So Sollux’s door was closed, and you figured okay, he’s doing one of those coding for days straight things, he’s fine. Then you tried the doorknob, and it was locked. You didn’t think anything of it- he could be showering or something, right? So you turned invisible and walked in-

Only to find Sollux jerking it on your- oh my god, YOUR bed, and then moaning YOUR name as he orgasms.

You booked it out of there, and now you’re sitting in the library, feeling very confused. Back when you were alive, this library was your safe haven from anything life threw at you. Orpheus and Cronus had no interest in this library, so it was yours. It’s not even really a huge library, it’s just a room with a bunch of old, dusty bookcases.

But that’s not the point.

You feel very conflicted about Sollux, and while that encounter may have made your dick hard as fuck, you ignore it, and try to think. Why would he be moaning your name? Maybe he likes you. Or maybe he just likes your body. We just don’t know.

Whatever. You’ll just  sit this out in the library, curling up in a chair and thinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4,000 words. Because of all that porn. Noice. Anyway, yeah I hope the next chapter will be out faster. Hopefully. Welp, thank you for comments and kudos! ^u^


	21. I Don’t Even Know Anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit happens. Pancakes, house layouts, and Eridan being a little shit. I really don't know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW it's been a while since I update. I am so so so sorry, and I have a whole litany of excuses prepared, although I realize that there are no excuses. I posted about it on Tumblr, but yeah not everybody has a Tumblr. Or follows me. (Same username as this one.) Well, my mom's laptop got a virus and so she stole mine for 2 weeks, a.k.a. Winter Break, a.k.a. my prime writing opportunity. So there goes that. And then school happened, and projects and... yeah, no. And then I got sick, probably because I never get sick and am therefore careless. So yeah, it's been over a month since I updated. And I wrote like 2600 words. It's okay. Enjoy this, I wrote a lot. While I was supposed to be doing homework. Heh. ALSO!! A very cool person drew this fanart: http://blueravenknight.deviantart.com/art/A-Piilloww-Party-Feeliing2-Jam-506908164?ga_submit_new=10%253A1421201279 for me, and it's super cute Erisol, so go check it out. (: (Fanartisalwaysappreciatedcough.)

Your name is Simon Captor, and you’ve finished making pancakes. The smell of freshly-made pancakes should be all over the house right now.

And yet, none of your kids, yours or Orpheus’s, have shown up.

… Huh.

Normally, the smell of any kind of food sends Sollux and Mituna running towards it.

You take off your apron (because you are the type of dad who wears a nerdy apron, yes, be quiet) and move to the stairs, putting your hands on your hips and frowning. Then you yell up, “Mituna! Sollux! Breakfast is ready!”

You hear thumps upstairs, then Cronus’s grinning face appears over the stairs at the top. “Does that mean food for me an’ Eri too?”

You smile back and say, “Yes, yes, now come down!”

Cronus disappears briefly, and you hear some murmurs, then he yells, “Vwe’ll be down soon!”

“Good! Also, go get Sollux, will you? He usually comes sprinting towards food,” you say, rolling your eyes and turning away.

You find Orpheus in the living room, watching some show where- oh my god are those two people having sex?

You awkwardly clear your throat, and as Orpheus whips around (blushing fiercely), you say, “Um. Well. Pancakes are ready, when you want to come and eat.”

“I- this was just what’s on, I swear I’m not- okay,” he gives up, turning back to the TV and switching channels. You smile a little as you walk away, back to the kitchen to get the dining room ready.

\--------

Your name is Sollux Captor, and the last time you were you, you were having a fun time. Touching yourself. To thoughts of Eridan. A ghost that used to live in your bedroom.

Holy shit, that’s fucked up.

Since then, you’ve cleaned yourself up, changed, and gone back to your computer, unlocking the door as well. When someone knocks on the door, it nearly scares the shit out of you, but you call out, “Come in!” anyway.

It’s Mituna. He comes in grinning, and says, “Tholluxthhhhh! Breakfatht ith ready!”

“Thankth, ‘Tuna,” you say, then close everything out on your computer. Can’t leave anything open.

As you follow Mituna and Cronus down the stairs, you pray you don’t run into Eridan. After that little session, you don’t think you can look him in the eye for hours.

Lucky for you, Eridan isn’t in the living room, or the kitchen, or the dining room. Huh.

Orpheus is sitting in the dining room, and his eyes scan over the three of you as you walk in.

“Where’s Eridan?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

You shrug.

“He’s missing?”

“Have you tried looking for him?”

He sighs and turns to Cronus, saying, “Go find yer brother, will you?”

“Yeah, sure, pops,” Cronus says, squeezing Mituna one more time before leaving the room to go find Eridan.

You awkwardly sit down next to Mituna, just as your father comes in with several plates of pancakes. Why did he make so many pancakes? Oh yeah, there’s six of you, two of whom are growing boys and two who are… well, teenage boys. Even if they’re dead.

You immediately grab two pancakes (because two of everything is amazing) and put all you need on it, diving into your meal.

\------

Your name is Cronus Ampora and you’re looking for your brother, who is… somewhere. In the mansion.

Yeah, you have no idea where he is.

You start downstairs, looking around at the kitchen, living room, study, all those cool downstairs rooms. And holy shit, you never realized how many rooms there are in this goddamn house. There’s at least 2 studies, extra bedrooms, a room leading to the backyard, an indoor swimming pool, several bathrooms, plus the kitchen, the dining room, at least 2 living rooms including the one in front of the staircase, and that’s just the first floor.

You sigh and make your way upstairs after not finding your younger brother in any of the downstairs rooms. The upstairs seems to be the same size, but it has more rooms due to bedrooms (there’s even more upstairs), so you know this’ll take you even longer, and you groan, slouching over as you use the rail to help yourself upstairs.

There’s a sort of sitting room at the top of the stairs, with several chairs and a table with a vase of all sorts of flowers on it. At the back of the room is a window, overlooking the backyard. You walk over and look out the window, your eyes scanning over the grounds. Because this house is a mansion, of course it’s going to have a big backyard, so you decide if you can’t find Eridan anywhere upstairs, you’ll look outside. But even from what you can see, he’s not in the backyard.

You turn back from the window and turn to the right, which is the left side of the upstairs though, towards the bulk of the bedrooms. At the far end is the master bedroom, where Simon is staying. You don’t want to pry, so you just quickly peek in, but he’s not in there. You don’t want to check the bathroom; that would be too far.

Next is your- Mituna’s bedroom, and you don’t know why Eridan would be in here, but you check anyway, smirking a bit at the rumpled sheets, and the bathroom as well, but then you leave. Eridan wouldn’t be in there.

It’s still kind of strange to you, the fact that each bedroom has its own bathroom, even if you’ve lived with it for years and years. It’s a really big, expensive house. And you’re sure Simon mentioned getting it for cheap, which seems weird, but whatever. You’ll ask him about it later.

For now, you peek into Sollux’s room, which seems to be about the same size as Mituna’s, but cleaner. His computer is asleep, and his bedsheets are all messed up, but there’s definitely no Eridan in here.

You groan. Why did you have to be put in charge of finding Eridan? Ugh. You leave his room and tromp across the room thing, the sitting room, which is between the two sides of the upstairs. There are even more rooms on the right side, seeing as bathrooms and bedrooms take up most of the left. There aren’t any bedrooms on the right just because there are more bedrooms downstairs, but there’s other rooms.

There’s yet another indoor swimming pool, because apparently nobody could ever have enough pools, and there’s also an exercise room (now with more exercise equipment because Simon and his family brought some over), and yet another study (this house really doesn’t need that many), and some other rooms. You check the pool, exercise, and study rooms, but Eridan isn’t to be found. You’re contemplating giving up and looking outside when you step into the library, and there’s Eridan, sitting curled up on one of the chairs and reading a book.

“Hey Eri’, vwe vwant you downstairs. Simon made pancakes, an’ vwe’re goin’ to actually do somethin’ today,” you say, moving to lean on his chair arm.

He jumps and looks up at you, then raises an eyebrow. “He made pancakes for all a’ us?”

You snicker and reply, “Yeah, he did.”

“Quite the trooper,” he murmurs, turning back to his book and focusing on it.

You sigh and sit down on the arm. Eridan only goes in the library when he’s upset or just needs to be alone- he thinks you and Orpheus don’t know, but yeah, both of you do.

“Vwhat’s vwrong, kid?” you ask, closing his book with a flick of your wrist.

He sighs at you, annoyed, but then mumbles, “I don’t wwanna talk about it, Cro’.”

“Alright, chief, but you gotta tell me sometime. C’mon, let’s go get some pancakes,” you say, ruffling his hair, then leading him out of the library and down into the dining room.

He follows you, grumbling and slouching the whole way, but you know he isn’t really mad.

\-------------

Your name is Eridan Ampora and wow, look at all these POV switches. Amazing.

Anyway, so Cronus dragged you downstairs to eat pancakes with your family and the Captors. You didn’t really want to face Sollux, but you suppose you have to eventually. It’ll be awkward- wait no, he doesn’t know you walked in on him, right? So it doesn’t have to be awkward!

You smile and stand up a little straighter, then walk into the dining room behind Cronus with your head held high.

There’s Sollux. Shit.

You avoid eye contact, just sitting down and quickly grabbing a pancake before anything else can happen.

“Ah, finally. Eridan, m’boy. Where have you been?” your father asks, taking a pancake as well.

“Nowwhere. Um, I mean- just. Y’know. Around,” you mumble, eyes not leaving your plate.

Orpheus squints at you, but doesn’t say anything else. The rest of breakfast is spent in an awkward silence, with only chewing sounds to be heard.

After you’re done, you stand up and move to the living room, where the rest of the family quickly follow.

“And here wwe are, tryin’ to discuss wwhat to do about the Mayor. Can’t wwe just go an’ _do_ somethin’ about it?” you complain, cross-legged on the couch.

“Don’t be so hasty. We need to make a plan. If we go in without a plan, we’re as good as dead. Again,” your father hastily adds.

“He’s right, chief. We need to think this through,” Cronus comments, playing with Mituna’s hair, who’s sitting in his lap. Ugh, they’re so cute it makes you sick.

“Like you evver plan anythin’ out, Cro’,” you sneer.

“Eridan,” your father chastises, and you quiet down.

“Well, we’re back to where we were before. I thuppothe we all have to go?” Sollux asks, and you groan inwardly. You will NOT sit here while they take 84 years to decide on a specific, very detailed plan.

“No, we can’t all go,” Simon muses, leaning back in his chair. “Only a couple people can go.”

“But we might need all of us to subdue the Mayor and his assistant,” Orpheus points out.

“I don’t think vwe’ll need 6 people to incapacitate a psychic an’ a rickety old man, pops,” Cronus drawls, wrapping his arms around Mituna.

“I’ll be right back,” you mumble before getting up and going off into one of the many halls. Okay, you know this house by heart, you can sneak out without them noticing. Well, for maybe a while, at least.

You work your way to one of the studies, to the door that conveniently leads outside, and down the driveway. You also disappear, because if somebody saw you and recognized you, even though you’ve been dead for a long time, that would suck.

You remember the way to town clearly, and start walking towards the Town Hall.

As you walk down the street, you watch people walking by or sitting at cafés or looking in shop windows. And then you realize something.

That nobody really appreciates life while they’re living it.

You hear it all the time, of course. Appreciate your life while you can, because it’s a gift, but a gift that comes with a return receipt. A return receipt without an expiration date.

And that metaphor got quickly out of hand, so you keep walking, trying not to focus on the fact that… well, you didn’t always appreciate life while you had it. And that’s one of the few things you regret.

Okay, happy thoughts, happy thoughts. You finally make it to the Town Hall, and wow it’s big. You were on the inside, of course, and you knew it was big and all the hallways looked the same, but wow it’s actually bigger than you thought it was at first.

You have to be careful of that assistant, though, which means you probably shouldn’t go in the front. If you were Mayor English, you definitely wouldn’t take any chances with three murderous ghosts and three more alive people looking to exact their revenge with the ghosts.

You sneak around the back (even though you don’t need to sneak because you’re invisible and nobody but the assistant chick can really see you) and make it to the “back door”. It’s not really a back door. It’s a door in the back, but… it’s a really, really big door. You don’t know why they didn’t make this the front. Aren’t back doors supposed to be small?

You shake these thoughts out of your head and go right through the door (literally), looking around a bit. It’s small compared to the doors that you just entered, and also to the extremely spacious front room, but it’s still pretty big. There’s a few chairs here and there, and a lot of potted plants on top of tables. It looks kind of like the front room.

There’s a couple hallways leading off to the sides, and the fact that you have no idea what the layout of this building is has not changed in the time between your last visit and now. You decide on a whim that yeah, going wandering off into this building where you could easily get lost all by yourself with some murderous people is an absolutely _splendid_ idea.

You wiggle some doorknobs, trying to see if they’re open, but most of them are locked. You don’t know what you’re looking for, you’re just… wandering.

Until you wiggle one doorknob, find that it’s open, proceed to open it, and then stare in absolute and utter shock.

Holy shit.

\----------------------

Your name is Sollux Captor and you’ve been sitting here for… oh, maybe the past half an hour just listening to your family discuss with a bunch of ghosts over what to do with a murderous villain and an evil ghost-seeing psychic.

You watch Simon and Orpheus throwing ideas back and forth, and then you watch Mituna and Cronus mumbling quietly over what to do while doing disgustingly cutesy things like eskimo kisses and giggling and playing with each other’s hair.

You’ve had just about enough, but you can’t go anywhere while they’re planning. You look over at the rest of the couch you’re sitting on, and just realize that Eridan’s gone. And he’s been gone. For who knows how long.

You vaguely remember him mumbling something and leaving near the beginning of the conversation, meaning he’s been gone for- half an hour? What is he doing?

“Uh, guyth? Guyth. Right here,” you roll your eyes as you try to get their attention. Once you have it, you ask, “Anybody know where Eridan went?”

They all look at each other in shock, like in those movies where there’s a group of people investigating a haunted house and then they realize someone is missing and they all look at each other in shock, and then later that person is dead.

You hope Eridan isn’t dead.

“Any ideath? Anybody?” you ask again, squinting your eyes in disbelief.

“I didn’t see him leavwe. I don’t know vwhere he’s gone,” Cronus oh so helpfully puts in.

“Tho that meanth he’th been gone for half an hour, without thupervision, and he could be anywhere?” you deadpan.

“I know he left, I just… got distracted,” Simon replies, coughing (and blushing?) when he says so. “He could be anywhere in this house.”

“Maybe he’th not in the houthe,” Mituna says, his eyes widening.

“What, Eridan? Not in the house? Sure,” Orpheus laughs. “Where could he be other than the house? Maybe taking an evening stroll, or going into town? Maybe he’s even going to deal with the Mayor and the psychic by himself,” he continues, still laughing.

And that’s when you realized he was protesting against planning earlier, saying basically just, “Fuck it, let’s go.”

And you think everyone else realized it as well, because their eyes get all wide and dramatic and oh my god Eridan that idiot actually went to go deal with them.

“Holy shit,” Orpheus says, and you all jump up to get ready to leave.

Why the hell are you six always getting into these situations?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, no porn this time. I might write some more. Maybe. Maybe some Dualpsii, maybe some more Crotuna, probably (most likely) some Erisol, but not for now, folks. It's all cool action movie sequences from here on out. And maybe some dramatic kissing scenes with explosions in the background. Yeah, that'd be cool. (I'm probably not gonna do that though.) Well, it might be 15 days before I update again or maybe 6 months. We just don't know. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I had fun writing this instead of doing my homework like I should. Yeah.


	22. The Chapter With Most of the Action (Finally)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit happens, idk anymore. The title is pretty self-explanatory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been so long since I've updated ): I'm so sorry. Everything's been getting in the way like school, writer's block, life in general, WRITER'S BLOCK, some more school, and writer's block. Man, fuck writer's block. Also I've been binge-watching Legend of Korra and The Walking Dead, so... yeah, no excuse for that. Sorry this chapter is so short too, I just wanna get it out there.

Your name is still Sollux Captor, if you’re reading this chapter right after the end of the previous one. If not, you’re just Sollux Captor. Fuck the fourth wall.

Anyway, you’re trying to walk hurriedly downtown with your family and ghosty friends while looking as casual as possible. You really don’t think it’s working, but whatever. It’s hard to look casual when you know your friend(???) could be in trouble. Your idiot friend. _Fucking Eridan._

You sigh and turn to your father, “You know there’th no way he could’ve gotten in the front. You’d think the Mayor would have the ghotht-theeing lady at the front, jutht in cathe…”

“That’s a good point, but how else would he get in?” your father asks, raising an eyebrow.

“There’s a back entrance. I know this ‘cause for years I had to sneak in the back for town business, but I had to avoid the Mayor,” Orpheus interrupts. “It’s literally right in the back, but I can lead you to it.”

“Yeah, that’d be fine,” Simon replies, smiling at him. _Hmmmm._

You all reach the back and make it to the big double doors. Why do they need double doors for the back? Actually, you’ve always wanted double doors.

Nonetheless, you peek in the windows in the doors, checking for anybody. When all you see is some secretary at the desk, you gesture to Simon and open one of the doors.

When you, Mituna, and Simon walk in, the secretary smiles at the three of you and asks, “Can I help you?”

“We’re just looking for some old files. It’s for my job,” Simon quickly covers, smiling back.

“Alrighty, and what files do you need?”

“Some property files.”

“Okay, it’s just down that hallway there, and the door is labeled. You’ll find it!”

“Alright, thank you,” Simon says, then you and Mituna follow him down said hallway, searching for any trace of Eridan. He would’ve come in invisible, there’s no way he would risk getting caught.

As Orpheus and Cronus float behind you three, you study the doors you pass by. They all look the same, even though some have labels and some don’t, but it’s next to impossible to find your way out of this place when everything looks the same, as you had learned a while ago.

Storage room, storage room, staff room, storage room…

This is starting to get a little repetitive, and you think you would’ve found Eridan by now.

\---------------

Your name is Eridan Ampora and last we left you, you were at a cliffhanger. How fun.

Well, here you are. Not really though. The last thing you remember is some blurry figures, then getting hit in the head, you think? What is it with your family’s affinity for getting hit in the head and then captured?

You’ve gotta getcha head in the game.

Anyway, you blearily open your eyes, but- oh. A blindfold.

You imagine that picture of the dog in the burning house with a smile on its face, saying, “This is fine.”

That’s you right now.

You hear muffled voices, like there’s maybe a door somewhere to your left and there’s people behind it. Huh.

You can’t remember anything from before you were knocked out. Hopefully it’ll come back to you. In the meantime, you try to yell for help. You don’t have a gag on, so… maybe someone who’s not evil will hear you?

“Help! Someone help! I’vve been… attacked! Hel-“ While you were yelling, a door was opened and you suddenly find yourself with a gag in your mouth.

“Dunno why he can’t just be quiet,” someone in front of you grumbles.

“I know, right? I can’t believe we have to babysit him right now.”

“Totally.”

You make confused noises through your cloth gag, struggling against the… ropes?... holding you to the chair.

Oh god they’re the magic anti-ghosty ropes.

_This shit again._

You lean back and groan, at least trying to make a scene so maybe the two people will get annoyed and leave.

“Oh, shut up,” one of them snaps, the first one you think, and you yell angrily.

Of course they can’t hear your yelling, you have a fucking… piece of cloth or whatever this shit is in your mouth.

You just hope someone will come rescue you. You don’t want to die in here- well, die again.

\-----------

Your name is Orpheus Ampora and you have just told your group that you 5 need to split up.

“Are you theriouth?” Sollux lisps out, looking angry. “You’re gonna pull thith Thcooby-Doo shit on uth?”

“Calm down, Sollux,” Simon says to him. “It would be a good idea, and we can cover more-“

“What a great idea! Okay Thcooby and Shaggy, go to the bathement. Velma, you can go down that creepy hallway by yourthelf, and Daphne and I will go check out the bedroomth becauthe we’ve been fucking around the entire show!” Sollux snaps.

“Chill out, bro,” Mituna snickers. “It’ll be good for uth, don’t worry. We’ll find your boyfriend.”

Sollux flushes and growls, “He’th not my boyfriend! You know what- fucking- fine! We thplit up. But if any one of uth dieth, it’th not on me.” Then he takes another look around the group. “Well, dead or re-dead.”

“Let’s just split up,” you say and roll your eyes. “Mituna and Cronus, go that way down the hall. Check all the doors. Sollux, try that corridor there. Simon an’ I will go this way.” Aw shit, that ended up sounding like Scooby-Doo anyway

Oh well.

Sollux glares at you a bit but doesn’t argue, making his gloomy way down said corridor while Mituna and Cronus leave as well. You and Simon turn around and take the other hallway.

You walk in silence for a bit, wiggling doorknobs and checking inside the rooms before breaking the silence.

“So. How are you doin’? I mean, emotionally an’ all,” you add. You can let your accent filter through; although it shows when you’re angry, you can relax around Simon and for now it’s too much effort for you to try and act all formal.

“What do you mean?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Well… I know it ain’t been easy. Livin’ with a bunch of ghosts and solving their too many year-old mysteries,” you chuckle a bit, then become more serious. “But I know, and I know you know, that you didn’t have to do this for us. For me. Whoever you’re doing it for. I just think that-“

“It’s fine, Orpheus. I’ll help out if you need me to,” Simon smiles at you and wow. Wow. He still has a nice smile. It’s been 1000 years and he still has a nice smile.

You’re supposed to be working. You blush and cough, turning back around to check another door, but it’s locked. You can feel Simon smirking. _Hhgniewf._

“But you’re- you’re fine emotionally? I don’t want this to… mentally scar you or anythin’,” you mumble, wiggling more doorknobs.

“Aw, do you actually _care_ about me?” Simon teases, still smirking.

You flush again and stutter out, “I- what, are you- I’m not-“ and all Simon does is laugh at you.

You straighten (ha) yourself up, trying to chill out. Okay, we cool, we cool.

Until you turn towards Simon and suddenly he’s really close, wow. He’s facing you, and holy crap what is he doing. What are you doing.

_Why is he so close to your face._

He’s reaching up to hold the collar of your shirt and he’s tugging you down to his height and oh my god he’s kissing you _he’s actually kissing you_ -

Then you realize that wow. He’s- actually a pretty good kisser, and you’re not pulling away. He sinks his hands into your hair as you wrap your arms around his waist and now you’re actually passionately making out in the middle of the hallway oh my god you should be looking for your actual son but you’re getting _really_ distracted and-

You’re fine with this.

\------------------------

Your name is Sollux Captor and you’ve already been you, haven’t you?

That’s alright. This is fine.

You’re wandering around because you’re lost.

Not a surprise, because FUCK this town hall in particular, but you’re lost and not 100% sure on how you’re going to find your family… or get out.

You do what Orpheus and your dad told you to do, checking doors, but it’s useless because at least… 90% of them are locked. At least.

So you’re actually just wandering around.

You open one of the doors and decide fuck it, you’re lost anyway, just get more lost.

You walk into the room. It’s dark and dusty, like every other room you’ve seen in this building. You’re not sure if anybody actually has a map- oh my god you and the other five people you came with are _idiots._

You totally forgot about the maps near the entrance.

You facepalm once because you forgot about the maps, and then another because _everyone else in your group forgot about them too._

Facepalm x2 combo.

You groan and walk around the room, kicking random things because you are an angry egg.

But you’re an idiot because now your foot hurts and ow.

You find a door near the back and open it, getting yourself lost because yolo.

And that’s when you walk into a room with Eridan tied to a chair, a gag in his mouth and a blindfold on, and there are a lady and another dude standing in front of him.

You freeze in the doorway, taking in the room.

Wow, Eridan doesn’t look half-bad tied up like that.

Shit oh my god you’re getting distracted, you tear your eyes away from him (even though he looks good) to look at the dude and the chick in front of him.

Oh shit, they’ve spotted you.

You’re about to turn and run but then you take in their appearances and one of your past memories hits you like a goddamn bullet train, and you take a second look at the woman.

Holy shit.

“Mom, is that you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More cliffhangers. What do you expect by now??? Nothing else. Who knows when I will update this next?? Probably in two years. (I'm kidding.) Just... yeah. This chapter was a game I like to call "How many different ways can I say woman??" The answer is 3.


	23. Revelations and Maybe Boners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just like the title said. People figure things out and also there is sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wOOOO okay so it's been an entire month since I've updated, but this is 3,000 words so it's okay. I've been busy with school and schoolwork and studying and life stuff and yeah. And with finals coming up, who knows when I'll be able to write?? I don't. That's okay though. I'm also p sure that 1,000 words of this are sex. Well, enjoy this chapter! (: EDIT: Reuploaded due to some difficulties (it wasn't showing up in the tag).

Your name is Simon Captor and you’re still making out with Orpheus.

He has you pressed against a table and you have moved your hands to grip at his hair, and good god you’re hard and oh my god you’re in a public place-

You move back from him, panting, and say, “Is this really the time? We’re supposed to be looking for your son-“

“Oh shit,” he replies, his eyes widening, and he moves back, running his hands through his hair. “I’m the worst parent ever. It’s me.”

You laugh and grab his hand, saying, “No, you aren’t. But we really do need to find your son, so let’s move.”

He flushes but smiles and follows you, gripping your hand.

\-------------

Your name is Sollux Captor and you weren’t really going to make the audience wait to see what your mom is doing. That’s too many cliffhangers. Too many.

Anyway, you’re standing in the doorway of the room where Eridan is being held captive and your mom, who has been dead for many, many years, is standing in front of Eridan.

She looks at you and her features soften. “Sollux? Is that-“

“Don’t talk to him!” the other man snaps, stepping between the two of you and glaring you down.

You squeak and try to back up; this large man is… extremely intimidating. Oh. You made a mistake.

“Haha, wrong room. Oopth. Haha, I’m jutht gonna… yeah, I’m- bye,” you say before trying to casually turn around and walk out but it’s too late and this intimidating man grabs you by the collar to yank you back inside, then closes the door. Aw fuck. You hecked up.

“What’th going on, guyth? I don’t even… haha, I don’t even know any of you?” you laugh nervously, trying to squirm out of the big guy’s grip.

“Let go of him, Makara,” the woman (your mother?????) says, still studying you. Okay wait a second. Makara? You know, like… two whole Makaras. Now three. That’s so many.

Okay too much information to process right now.

The big guy (Makara??) lets go of your collar, grumbling slightly, and you step away from him, fixing your shirt. You. Don’t even know who to talk to first??

Your mom is probably a good idea.

“Mom? What’th… what ith thith?” you ask her, still confused. You thought your mom was dead. Years ago. She died. Your father told you that, in tears. Did he lie to you?

“I’m sorry, Sollux. I’m sorry I lied to your father, and in turn, you and Mituna,” she says to you, looking a little bit sad. Just a little bit.

“What do you mean? How did… Dad told me you died,” you reply, eyes narrowing at her.

“You know him?” ‘Makara’ asks your mother, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes,” she replies to him, rudely ignoring your question. Rude.

“Why do you have ED tied to a chair?” you try again, gesturing to Eridan, who’s been looking around in confusion this whole time and now to chooses to glare at you. That’s cool.

Your mother sighs and rubs the side of her head, then turns to you. “You don’t want to know, Sollux.”

You scowl and insist, “Yeth, I do. Now tell me.”

She pauses, then says, “I faked my death so I could run away from your father and join basically the 3-person mafia and get revenge on a family for my boss, all because I got bored.”

You. You just. Kind of stand there in shock? She faked her death and actually ran away because she was  _bored_?

And then it all connects.

The diary, the murders, how your father found this house, everything connects.

Here’s how it went down, as you quickly figure out in your head.

“C” stood for “Captor” in the journal you read. But… but it wasn’t from the mayor’s computer, then. You must’ve hacked into the wrong computer. Fuck, how do you even do that? Anyway, it seems your mother and this guy were the ones that killed… oh my god your mom killed Eridan.  _Your mom killed Eridan._

Holy shit.

You look over at Eridan, wide-eyed, and he still looks really confused? You’ll fill him in later. Maybe. Haha fill him in.

Okay now is not the time for sexual innuendos.

You turn back to your mom (evil mom) and ask, “You… did all of thith becauthe you were… bored???”

She shrugs at you and says, “Yeah. At first when you walked in I remembered all the great times we had together, but… then I remembered I got bored with those times. And that I left those times behind when I faked my death.”

You start to grow angry and nearly growl the words out, “You left uth. You left my dad, my brother, and me. You left all of uth fucking  _crushed_ over your death, and your excuthe is that you were just  _bored_?”

She raises an eyebrow at you, then replies, “Well, yeah.”

Before you can even lift a finger, Makara has you by the collar again and walks over to a nearby door and opens it, throwing you inside and then closing the door and locking it.

Whatever room you’re in seems to be a small closet, but it’s dark and cramped and you really can’t see very well. And you also can’t get out. Cool, that’s fine, everything’s fine.

A minute or two later you hear muffled voices beyond the door, “… no use for him now…” and you think oh shit you’re going to get killed but then you hear the door being unlocked.

There’s a brief flash of bright light in your eye,  _ow_ , and then there’s a very solid body slamming into yours. You shriek and try to move backwards (fuck never mind there’s a wall there) just as the body on top of you yelps, and then the door is closed and locked again. And then you hear the door (probably to the room outside your closet) open and shut. The two people left. Great. This is fine.

The person (??? Probably a person) on top of you moves backwards the best they can, but it’s a very small closet thing room and there is very little space, so your legs are still touching.

Then you hear a voice say, “Sol?”

Oh  _hell_  no.

\--------------------

Your name is Cronus Ampora and life’s going pretty good for you. Well, death life. Life as a ghost. Vwhatevwer.

You’re wandering the halls with your cute (alive) boyfriend while your father and his father probably make out or something. Eugh.

You were told to follow some hallway, but you are rebellious and decided to turn around sort of and go the way Sollux went instead. That and Mituna wanted to make sure his little bro was okay. That’s cute. Siblings are so cute. You want to push Eridan off a cliff sometimes.

Anyway, you pull Mituna close and throw your arm around him, grinning and saying, “So. You vwanna go explorin’?” You wiggle your eyebrows.

Mituna gasps and shoves you (gently), grinning, “Cronuth! We’re in  _public_!”

“So?” you wiggle your eyebrows again, sliding your hand down to his waist.

You actually thing he’s about to acquiesce but then someone walks out of the door in front of you, and Mituna turns a bright red.

It’s a woman wearing a whole lot of blue. Like, a LOT of blue. It’s too much blue.

She closes the door behind her, then turns to see you two in a lightly compromising situation. She snickers, but then takes a closer look at you and pales, quickly turning around and fleeing down the hallway.

That’s… suspicious.

“Hey, vwait!” you call, pulling Mituna along with you as you run after her.

Of course you have to run after her, she’s suspicious as fuck. Yeah.

Mituna yelps but follows you anyway, sprinting along with you as you see the blue woman run through the halls. Suddenly, she turns and opens a door, then quickly moves inside and closes the door. You run up to the door and yank it open.

Inside, it’s a huge room; like,  _huge._ Huge enough you’re surprised that this is an actual room in the Town Hall. Why is it so big?

It’s weird.

Anyway, the room is dark but decorated with blue everywhere. Man, this woman must really love the color blue.

Speaking of which, there’s the woman, standing in the center of the room and not looking even out of breath while Mituna’s panting at your side. You’re not breathing at all.

Perks of being a ghost.

You take a step towards her and ask, “Who are you? Vwhy did you run?”

She just grins at you, then replies, “You  _reeeeeeeeally_ don’t know who I am?”

You raise an eyebrow, confused, and say, “… No?”

Her grin disappears and she frowns, then pouts. “You don’t recognize me? I thought you would, considering what I’ve done to your family.”

And now you’re really confused??? “Vwhat… did you do to my family…?”

A smirk appears on her face and she leans forward a bit, replying, “You don’t knoooooooow?”

You shake your head bemusedly.

Her smirk widens and she fake-whispers dramatically, “I was the one that masterminded the plot to kill your family.”

Holy fuckballs, Batman.

\------------

Your name is Eridan Ampora and you’re stuck in a closet with Sollux Captor.

How ironic.

So you say, “Sol?” and the first thing he says to you is, “Fuck off, Ampora.”

“C’mon Sol, wwe’ll be stuck in here for who knowws howw long. Might as wwell make convversation,” you point out, rolling your eyes.

“But I don’t want to make converthation with you.”

“Aww, don’t be that wway, Sol-“

“No, ED.”

“Sol plea-

“No.”

“Sol!”

“ED, fuck off.”

You sigh but stop talking, pouting and crossing your arms. It’s dark in the closet, but just enough light filters in from underneath the door that you can see at least the ground. Soon enough your eyes adjust to the darkness and you can make out Sollux’s form, slouched against the- boxes? Boxes against the back wall.

You sigh again and move your leg slightly, knocking it against Sollux’s and causing him to let out a curse.

“Oh for fuck’th  _thake,_ Eridan!”

“Ohhh, full name,” you smirk.

He just scowls at you and moves his leg, the one that you hit… and he moves it rather conveniently. His legs are on either side of yours, while yours are bent a little at the knee. They were bent earlier because you didn’t want to kick him in the thigh (oops), but now you try not to kick him in the crotch and bend them a little bit more.

But if you stretched them out, you could reach his crotch pretty easily.

You ‘yawn’, and by that you mean use yawning as an excuse to stretch your legs out and not hit his crotch with your feet but right next to his crotch.

He hisses and shoves your feet away, saying, “That wath totally fake, athhole. Fact: yawning ith cauthed by a lack of sufficient oxygen in the thythtem. You have no oxygen in your thythtem at all, and I doubt your thythtem even workth, tho put your feet and legth all the way over there.” He points to the other side of the closet while he moves his own legs to the opposite side. Wow. Amazing.

“C’mon, Sol, wwho knowws howw long wwe’ll be in here?” you ask, whining a bit but moving your legs anyway. You aren’t about to disrespect someone’s boundaries.

“Too long already,” he growls back, and you sigh, leaning against your wall and accepting your fate.

\----

Your name is Sollux Captor and it’s time to take a look at the other side of World War III.

You’re kind of… really turned on.

You know you shouldn’t be right now, but all you can think about right now is the other day when you jerked off thinking about fucking Eridan into the bed, and also how he’s right here and you want to pin him down and ride him into the sunset-

Okay that’s enough now.

It started when he kept saying your name. You like how he says your name. You want to hear him scream it against your pillow. And then he decided to stretch his fucking legs out, on purpose that little asshole, just to brush his foot against your inner thigh, right next to your crotch-

You sigh and try to wiggle back a little farther into the closet. If Eridan gets any closer you’ll probably jump him, and you don’t want that.

Fuck, you’re hard.

It’s dark. Maybe he can’t see you enough that- if you just- wormed your hand between your legs-

No, you can’t touch yourself with Eridan less than a foot away. What the fuck, mind? Of course he would notice, he’s  _right fucking there_ -

But if you don’t get rid of this boner soon, your captors (ha) or at least your family is going to show up and… ugh. Okay.

“Eridan?” You can’t believe you’re doing this.

“Yeah, Sol?” he asks, turning his head towards you.

You stretch your leg out to nudge one of his aside, catching him off-guard so his legs are spread wide.

He gasps and jumps, then yanks his legs back into place. “Sol!”

“What’th the matter, ED? You don’t like that?” you purr, sliding your leg back but spreading your own.

He audibly chokes, eyes probably trained on the bulge on your crotch. Hopefully. “Sol… ngh…” he makes an incomprehensible noise.

“It’th fine if you don’t want to. I can take care of mythelf…” you say as you slide your hand between your legs, palm firm against your crotch and you moan quietly.

The next thing you know Eridan’s in front of you, pressing you against the wall and grinding his crotch hard against yours.

You cry out, head thrown back as you wrap your legs around his waist. He groans and presses harder against you, making you writhe in pleasure as the bulge in his crotch slowly slides against yours.

“ED… fuck, Eridan, pleathe…” you moan, head rolled back against the wall.

He tugs you forward and kisses you hard, and  _fuck_ yes, it’s the contact you’ve wanted since forever. You moan as he tugs on your lower lip with his teeth, then slides his tongue inside your mouth. It comes as a shock even when it shouldn’t when he starts lightly thrusting against you. It has you crying out into his mouth, your dick throbbing in your underwear.

He reaches down to grab your ass and shift you closer to him and his bulge rubs up against yours in a way that makes you gasp for breath and cry out at a higher pitch.

“Holy fuck, Sol…” Eridan murmurs before leaning down to suck on your neck and thrust harder against you, making you moan and squirm and actually get jolted against the wall quite uncomfortably.

“Fuck, ED, jutht let me-“ you push your torso off the wall and twist sideways, then fall down rather suddenly to the floor. Eridan moves with you and then hikes up your legs so he can thrust hard between your legs, almost like he’s fucking you through your clothes and it turns you on so much, fuck.

You grab his hair and tug him down to kiss you, moaning into his mouth as he lets out these little groans, pressing you into the floor and oh fuck you’re getting close and it hasn’t even been that long,  _fuck._

“ED- Eridan, holy fuck, pleathe- can’t ruin thethe jeanth, fuck-“ you babble, not wanting to release in your jeans because holy shit that would be a mistake.

He groans and stops thrusting, then pauses, and then reaches down to undo your pants and pull them down.

You let him, shifting on your elbows to watch Eridan Ampora suck your dick down to the base.

_Holy fucking shit._

It’s a couple of seconds before you react by collapsing onto your back and moaning out his name, hips bucking up against him.

He pins your hips back down and growls around your dick, and then you’re moaning out, “Holy fuck, ED- Eridan- fuck, I can’t, I’m gonna-“ and before you even finish your sentence you’re releasing inside his mouth and he’s  _swallowing every last drop, holy shit._

He tucks you back into your underwear/pants while you’re panting for breath. Once you’ve caught your breath, you sit up and see the bulge in his pants.

Oh, right. You forgot.

You reach forward to grab him through his jeans and he gasps, then leans forward to rest his forehead on your shoulder. “Nghhh,” is all he can manage to say.

He leans his back against the door as you sink down between his legs, undoing his pants and pulling them and his underwear down just enough to release his dick.

You slide your tongue up the side, then suck the head into your mouth. Eridan inhales sharply, then moans, his hand slipping into your hair and gently tugging you further onto his dick. You use a hand to stroke what you mouth can’t reach, and Eridan moans louder, slowly rocking his hips.

Once you start sucking you know he’s not going to last long, and he whispers, “Fuck, Sol- just like that, I’m- fuck-“ and he releases inside your mouth. You swallow it because you’re not spitting inside this closet for some poor soul to find later, and then you sit up while he tucks his dick back into his boxers.

Holy shit.

There’s an awkward silence in which you open your mouth to speak several times but then don’t. Maybe it’s better not to talk.

\---------

Your name is now Orpheus Ampora and you’re walking through the halls with a Captor in tow. So much has been happening but you don’t know it, so you two are just chillin’.

You move to the side as a rather bulky man and a woman pass by, and then Simon screams.

The fuck?

You turn to him and he’s looking at the woman, who’s giving you both a weird look.

“Simon?” you ask, nudging him gently.

“You’re dead,” is the first thing he says to the woman.

What is going on???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quality chapter. Many sex. Amazing. Man I'm so tired and I gotta study >.> I hope I can put out a new chapter soon!


	24. A/N

Well, it's been almost a year since I've updated this. And sorry for anyone who might've gotten excited when they saw this update only to realize it's just me, giving up on this fic, lmao.

Basically I've been super busy with school and tests and friends and family but it's mostly because I've fallen out of the Homestuck fandom since it stopped updating. Well, it was mostly the updates were slowing down and then my friend told me about TF2 (a video game) and I got super into that while Homestuck kept being on mini-hiatuses and... yeah.

At this point, Homestuck's officially over and so not only have I been becoming less into Homestuck but... that's it. Homestuck's officially over. There's no more content.

I've been getting into a lot of YouTube fandoms lately instead and I just don't have a lot of motivation to write at all unless it's a specific thing for a friend. Also this wasn't supposed to be known but I never knew where this story was headed anyway. Literally all the chapters were me going, "Haha yeah I'll just wing it." But I haven't even touched the word document of this fic in, like... months. So.

I do have a lot of unfinished Homestuck stuff (coughsmutcough) that I also never posted, so I might do that. Maybe. Depends if people wanna read it.

So long story short, I'm giving up on this fic. Sorry kids. If one of y'all wanna finish it, that's fine, but I've basically given it up.

But thank you all for the fanart and sticking with me through this fic and everything.

Lemme know if you wanna see the stuff I never posted, haha. And I might write more stuff for different fandoms; it's a mystery. Lmao anyway.

Thank you, and buh-bye!!!


End file.
